What do childless couples in their 50's do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I guess I need some ideas about hobbies. Since I work full time, I'm not too concerned about the week, but my big concern is what do on weekends other than simply going out to eat and seeing a movie. I'm so used to weekends being centered around the kid's activities and preparing for the upcoming week.

Make plans with friends. Long mimosa brunches. Go to farmers markets, flea markets, work on home projects, exercise, excursions and outings, there are a million things to do.

[Anonymous]

Not childless but empty nesters at 52 and it’s great!! I so love my dc but it’s the best of both worlds — I’m still young (enough), healthy to do things I gave up or did little of: more exercise on my own, sampled a few yoga or weight training classes, occasionally do a 2nd book group, stay in city after work to have dinner with a friend or two, almost a monthly weekend trip with DH, and one big yearly intl trip. Hang out with my dog.

The time goes and with college it’s like they go aug, parents weekend oct, Thanksgiving nov, holiday break Dec, Jan return, March - spring break, May home. You see them almost every 4-5 weeks ( unless far away.)

Like someone said: it will be weird first few weeks and then it’s ok, good, or great depending on your personality or individual circumstance.

There are moments which are bittersweet when you recognize that part of your life is over but that hopefully means you had a meaningful phase of life as a mother and established strong bonds and now time to move on. Next phase pretty awesome and you havevthese great adult kids to visit, share, chat.

Hugs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If your kid is going off to college in the fall, believe me, you will still be on parent duty. You will see them at breaks, you will help them to figure out the logistics of getting to/from school, you'll most likely help them move into the dorm, you'll attend Parent Day...etc

It's not like your kid goes away to college and you stop being a parent. Even after they are working and raising their own kids, you'll be involved to some degree as grandparents.

As for what you do when you no longer have to supervise your kid in the evenings.....go out and have fun. Seriously. Go to concerts, go out bar hopping, go out to dinner, take weekend trip to the beach.

What did you and your husband do together before kids?

This.

My cousin and I are about the same age, but she doesn’t have kids. She and her DH regularly do nothing for holidays OR they might go on vacation for two weeks bookending a holiday. I can’t do that because my 26 year old still wants to visit for holidays and observe all the usual traditions. We tried a cabin one Christmas and it didn’t go over well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not childless but empty nesters at 52 and it’s great!! I so love my dc but it’s the best of both worlds — I’m still young (enough), healthy to do things I gave up or did little of: more exercise on my own, sampled a few yoga or weight training classes, occasionally do a 2nd book group, stay in city after work to have dinner with a friend or two, almost a monthly weekend trip with DH, and one big yearly intl trip. Hang out with my dog.

The time goes and with college it’s like they go aug, parents weekend oct, Thanksgiving nov, holiday break Dec, Jan return, March - spring break, May home. You see them almost every 4-5 weeks ( unless far away.)

Like someone said: it will be weird first few weeks and then it’s ok, good, or great depending on your personality or individual circumstance.

There are moments which are bittersweet when you recognize that part of your life is over but that hopefully means you had a meaningful phase of life as a mother and established strong bonds and now time to move on. Next phase pretty awesome and you havevthese great adult kids to visit, share, chat.

Hugs.

Maybe. Maybe not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not childless but empty nesters at 52 and it’s great!! I so love my dc but it’s the best of both worlds — I’m still young (enough), healthy to do things I gave up or did little of: more exercise on my own, sampled a few yoga or weight training classes, occasionally do a 2nd book group, stay in city after work to have dinner with a friend or two, almost a monthly weekend trip with DH, and one big yearly intl trip. Hang out with my dog.

The time goes and with college it’s like they go aug, parents weekend oct, Thanksgiving nov, holiday break Dec, Jan return, March - spring break, May home. You see them almost every 4-5 weeks ( unless far away.)

Like someone said: it will be weird first few weeks and then it’s ok, good, or great depending on your personality or individual circumstance.

There are moments which are bittersweet when you recognize that part of your life is over but that hopefully means you had a meaningful phase of life as a mother and established strong bonds and now time to move on. Next phase pretty awesome and you havevthese great adult kids to visit, share, chat.

Hugs.

Maybe. Maybe not.

Life is what you make it. If you make maintaining a good relationship with your adult kids a priority, you will most likely still have them in your life. The work of raising them will be over for you, though. They don't stay kids forever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Whatever the f#ck they want.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guess I need some ideas about hobbies. Since I work full time, I'm not too concerned about the week, but my big concern is what do on weekends other than simply going out to eat and seeing a movie. I'm so used to weekends being centered around the kid's activities and preparing for the upcoming week.

Gardening, dance classes, stay in bed late, join some bingo groups..

I feel like the bingo and dance classes suggestions are for older people. I'm 50 and DH is 51.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guess I need some ideas about hobbies. Since I work full time, I'm not too concerned about the week, but my big concern is what do on weekends other than simply going out to eat and seeing a movie. I'm so used to weekends being centered around the kid's activities and preparing for the upcoming week.

Make plans with friends. Long mimosa brunches. Go to farmers markets, flea markets, work on home projects, exercise, excursions and outings, there are a million things to do.

This is a big part of the problem. We don't really have any local friends. We moved here about 5 years ago, and with working and the business of parenting, really haven't made friends for ourselves. I'm really trying to envision how husband and I will spend our weekends once the kids are gone and that won't be taking up all of our time. Obviously we will eat out a lot and see movies, but I guess I'm really looking for a hobby that he and I can do together. And I'm not really interested in volunteering. Looking for something more recreational.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I guess I need some ideas about hobbies. Since I work full time, I'm not too concerned about the week, but my big concern is what do on weekends other than simply going out to eat and seeing a movie. I'm so used to weekends being centered around the kid's activities and preparing for the upcoming week.

Take some art classes. Join a gym. Try a new type of exercise. Go on long bike rides and hikes. Take trips. Visit museums. Learn to cook new types of foods.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guess I need some ideas about hobbies. Since I work full time, I'm not too concerned about the week, but my big concern is what do on weekends other than simply going out to eat and seeing a movie. I'm so used to weekends being centered around the kid's activities and preparing for the upcoming week.

Make plans with friends. Long mimosa brunches. Go to farmers markets, flea markets, work on home projects, exercise, excursions and outings, there are a million things to do.

This is a big part of the problem. We don't really have any local friends. We moved here about 5 years ago, and with working and the business of parenting, really haven't made friends for ourselves. I'm really trying to envision how husband and I will spend our weekends once the kids are gone and that won't be taking up all of our time. Obviously we will eat out a lot and see movies, but I guess I'm really looking for a hobby that he and I can do together. And I'm not really interested in volunteering. Looking for something more recreational.

Well, OP. You’ve pretty much shot down every idea given to you. How about spend some of that free time working on yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guess I need some ideas about hobbies. Since I work full time, I'm not too concerned about the week, but my big concern is what do on weekends other than simply going out to eat and seeing a movie. I'm so used to weekends being centered around the kid's activities and preparing for the upcoming week.

Make plans with friends. Long mimosa brunches. Go to farmers markets, flea markets, work on home projects, exercise, excursions and outings, there are a million things to do.

This is a big part of the problem. We don't really have any local friends. We moved here about 5 years ago, and with working and the business of parenting, really haven't made friends for ourselves. I'm really trying to envision how husband and I will spend our weekends once the kids are gone and that won't be taking up all of our time. Obviously we will eat out a lot and see movies, but I guess I'm really looking for a hobby that he and I can do together. And I'm not really interested in volunteering. Looking for something more recreational.

Well, OP. You’ve pretty much shot down every idea given to you. How about spend some of that free time working on yourself.

The only ideas I shot down were nannying and volunteering.

[Anonymous]

OP you make this sound like a bad thing, all the possibilities of life in front of you and this is how you think? Maybe a therapist is your first stop. I am still giddy with the freedom even with one in my basement after graduation because I know he will leave soon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guess I need some ideas about hobbies. Since I work full time, I'm not too concerned about the week, but my big concern is what do on weekends other than simply going out to eat and seeing a movie. I'm so used to weekends being centered around the kid's activities and preparing for the upcoming week.

Make plans with friends. Long mimosa brunches. Go to farmers markets, flea markets, work on home projects, exercise, excursions and outings, there are a million things to do.

This is a big part of the problem. We don't really have any local friends. We moved here about 5 years ago, and with working and the business of parenting, really haven't made friends for ourselves. I'm really trying to envision how husband and I will spend our weekends once the kids are gone and that won't be taking up all of our time. Obviously we will eat out a lot and see movies, but I guess I'm really looking for a hobby that he and I can do together. And I'm not really interested in volunteering. Looking for something more recreational.

Go out together and you will meet people just like you did before you had kids. Instead of meeting through your kids' interests or meeting neighbors because they have kids the same age, you will be meeting people who share YOUR interests. When was the last time you did that, lol?

[Anonymous]

This is weird to me. By the time our kids left the house, we had plenty of “practice” being empty nesters. The kids have activities they get to on their own, spend weekends away with school and friends, and spend weeks at sleep away camps and other summer plans. What do you do now when they sleep away the mornings and stay up all night studying?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guess I need some ideas about hobbies. Since I work full time, I'm not too concerned about the week, but my big concern is what do on weekends other than simply going out to eat and seeing a movie. I'm so used to weekends being centered around the kid's activities and preparing for the upcoming week.

Make plans with friends. Long mimosa brunches. Go to farmers markets, flea markets, work on home projects, exercise, excursions and outings, there are a million things to do.

This is a big part of the problem. We don't really have any local friends. We moved here about 5 years ago, and with working and the business of parenting, really haven't made friends for ourselves. I'm really trying to envision how husband and I will spend our weekends once the kids are gone and that won't be taking up all of our time. Obviously we will eat out a lot and see movies, but I guess I'm really looking for a hobby that he and I can do together. And I'm not really interested in volunteering. Looking for something more recreational.

Well, OP. You’ve pretty much shot down every idea given to you. How about spend some of that free time working on yourself.

The only ideas I shot down were nannying and volunteering.

Spend some time doing things that YOU think are fun. Do you like wine tasting? Charity 5Ks? Camping? Hiking? Dog training? Do you want to take a class or learn how to dance or play a musical instrument? Now is the time.

Think of all of the activities that you planned for your kids, all the play dates you arranged and supervised. Now do that for yourself. It's a weird concept I know because we are totally out of the habit of thinking like that.

I have loved being a parent and I am glad that I did play dates, sleepovers, visits with grandparents, nature centers, playgrounds, swim lessons, orchestra, baseball practice, scouting.......

I look back on it now and, man, that was fun but so are more adult centered activities. Maybe I'll paint a few rooms in the house or take up gardening or brew my own beer.