playdate conversations
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Anonymous
| What do you talk about with a mom when you have a 2 hour playdate at a playspace? Are you telling each other your whole life stories? |
Anonymous
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How old are your kids? If under age 4 or so, you basically are talking about your kids and getting interrupted constantly to help them or correct their behavior, etc. so it’s not like the conversation needs to be constantly maintained.
If they are older you talk about the kids, their school(s), the neighborhood/community you live in, basically mundane stuff. Or you can talk about whatever you want if you like the person. |
Anonymous
| I just had a 5.5 hour playdate the other week. It went great! The mom and I literally talked for that long, but we have a lot in common. Kids are both 4. |
Anonymous
What in the heck did you talk about for 5.5 hours? This is what I need to know. |
Anonymous
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It’s like going to a dinner party or a work networking event. You might ask what she does or formerly did. Oh, you were a journalist. Did you cover mostly domestic news? Oh you were the arts and entertainment correspondent for CNN? I remember hearing about a new installation at the Whitney in NY. I love that museum because it uses digital screens and new media. Have you been?
Or talk about other play spaces. I have never been to Busy bee. I am glad you suggested it. I like learning about places for when it is hot or muggy or snowing. We usually go to Badlands. You like that too? So neat. I was worried about Larlo on the slides but he is fearless. Not sure we will go back since they raised the price 12 dollars an hour. If the other person is a good talker, you should be able to fill the time with a solid back and forth. If they give one word answers, you might need to start telling longer stories. |
Anonymous
| This is not meant to be mean, but are the posters who ask these kinds of questions usually socially awkward in general? It's never occurred to me that I wouldn't be able to hold a conversation with another adult. Do you hide in corners at parties? Are you unable to make small talk with coworkers about things other than work? Just talk to them. You might even make a new friend! |
Anonymous
NP here and yes I am socially awkward. I hate making small talk too as my interests tend towards the weird and strange. |
Anonymous
How do you ask this question without meaning to be mean? You are literally calling someone out because they asked a question, then say it never occurred to you that *you* wouldn't be able to do the thing they are asking for help with. Then you ask snide comments about it and offer unhelpful comments. Clearly, you are aware that other people may be socially awkward. Why would you post a response like this? You recognized that the question was mean. You didn't do anything to soften the tone, despite social skills that you believe in enough that you can't fathom not being able to talk to another adult. Some people do geniuely struggle with social anxiety and take great comfort in having a clear set of rules for the engagement. A playdates are often a new social medium for parents. On the one hand, you are getting together like friends. On the other hand, you barely know this person. Of course, parents are used to meeting new people in some capacity, but generally that comes with some form introduction. Either socially because you met a friend's event or professionally because some course of business caused you to intersect (conference, walk-in client, referral for another colleague). The last time that most parents met a new person and spent a significant time talking without any particular purpose was probably college, which might be a decade (or more) ago. OP, I think you have some good suggestions above. I would keep it fairly surface level at the first playdate and talk about what you have in common (the kids, parenting). If you get along well, then there will likely be a second playdate and you can mention some of your interests in passing. For example if you are a baseball fan: "Wow, your little Larlo is quite the runner. Maybe he will be the centerfielder for the Nationals someday! Have you been to a game at Nats Park?" Or maybe wear something that displays an interest, like a concert T-shirt. If the other person shares the interest, they will probably mention it. |
Anonymous
-chit chat about weather -about neighborhood - how was last weekend -any interesting things for coming weekend -compliment about something they have/are wearing and ask where they got from - ask any kid related question where you might need other's opinion - talk about what happening with your kid lately and ask about their's - comment about what you like/ dislike about the playspace |
Anonymous
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If a kid is fully potty trained, it's a drop-off for me. Parent comes in the first time to chat and get to know us a bit first, but after that, it's drop off.
For younger kids, we keep it short--2 hours max, and we try to make it lunch, too, so that takes some time setting, eating together, clearing table. |
Anonymous
| If all else fails, talk about Game of Thrones. |
Anonymous
OP specified at a play space, not someone's home. OP, it's usually kid related stuff in my experience, unless we discover something else we have in common. If you don't feel comfortable sharing about your own interests, you can ask how the other child likes preschool or what games or toys do they like, share what your kid likes, etc. |
Anonymous
PP here. See but weird and strange keep a conversation going! Even if they're not my interest, it's fun to me to pick your brain about something you like. I'll learn something new. Maybe I'll even want to explore whatever it is more on my own. And I would bet that looking at me you'd blow me off totally and assume that I'd judge you for your weird and strange interests. You never know who you're sitting with unless you start chatting! It's really about manners and social graces more than anything else, and if someone shoots you down or gets judgey as you fear, then they're losers who aren't worth your time. That is of course unless your weird and strange is like socially unacceptable behaviors....although even then I'd probably still want to know about it, but I'm a curious person by nature. |
Anonymous
| Op, back when my child was a toddler, we often met up with a mom who didn’t seem to know how to hold a conversation. I assume she was just socially awkward, but I eventually stopped inviting her to things because she never reciprocated so I wasn’t sure whether she actually wanted to get together. If you’re quiet or socially awkward, try to at least smile, be friendly, and invite the other party to do things so they know you want to hang out! Btw I am quiet and not socially great either, but this was on another level. To this day, years later, I’m not 100% sure what this other mom was going for. |
Anonymous
Agree. "How do I talk to other humans, please advise" |