What if you realize that you haven’t been emotionally connected to DH for years?

[Anonymous]

Is this reason enough to leave? Yes, we have kids.

My DH is nonstop invalidating of me.

Sex life is fine/good. Apparently I don’t need an emotional connection for that.

But I’ve been hurt and gaslighted relentlessly, and I’m beginning to wonder if I would walk through life less devastated if I wasn’t being hurt and denigrated all the time.

?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is this reason enough to leave? Yes, we have kids.

My DH is nonstop invalidating of me.

Sex life is fine/good. Apparently I don’t need an emotional connection for that.

But I’ve been hurt and gaslighted relentlessly, and I’m beginning to wonder if I would walk through life less devastated if I wasn’t being hurt and denigrated all the time.

?

Big words. Reason to leave? Absolutely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is this reason enough to leave? Yes, we have kids.

My DH is nonstop invalidating of me.

Sex life is fine/good. Apparently I don’t need an emotional connection for that.

But I’ve been hurt and gaslighted relentlessly, and I’m beginning to wonder if I would walk through life less devastated if I wasn’t being hurt and denigrated all the time.

?

We can tell you all that you want to hear but your actions suggest that you’re a doormat (I.e., you’re constantly put down, disrespected by DH and still have regular sex so he’s never going to change) so it’s entirely up to you to take action.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is this reason enough to leave? Yes, we have kids.

My DH is nonstop invalidating of me.

Sex life is fine/good. Apparently I don’t need an emotional connection for that.

But I’ve been hurt and gaslighted relentlessly, and I’m beginning to wonder if I would walk through life less devastated if I wasn’t being hurt and denigrated all the time.

?

In other words, everything is fine for him. He has no incentive to change.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is this reason enough to leave? Yes, we have kids.

My DH is nonstop invalidating of me.

Sex life is fine/good. Apparently I don’t need an emotional connection for that.

But I’ve been hurt and gaslighted relentlessly, and I’m beginning to wonder if I would walk through life less devastated if I wasn’t being hurt and denigrated all the time.

?

In other words, everything is fine for him. He has no incentive to change.

Wife lessons 101. Sex is the one-and-only way to incentivize a male.
If you want him to DO something, have plenty of sex.
If you want him to STOP doing something, don't have sex.

[Anonymous]

You need to look within for validation. If there's no abuse, sex life is fine, and you have kids, try getting help for yourself before you pull the plug on marriage

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You need to look within for validation. If there's no abuse, sex life is fine, and you have kids, try getting help for yourself before you pull the plug on marriage

+1. Could try couple's counseling, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is this reason enough to leave? Yes, we have kids.

My DH is nonstop invalidating of me.

Sex life is fine/good. Apparently I don’t need an emotional connection for that.

But I’ve been hurt and gaslighted relentlessly, and I’m beginning to wonder if I would walk through life less devastated if I wasn’t being hurt and denigrated all the time.

?

In other words, everything is fine for him. He has no incentive to change.

Wife lessons 101. Sex is the one-and-only way to incentivize a male.
If you want him to DO something, have plenty of sex.
If you want him to STOP doing something, don't have sex.

Not OP, but how do you do this? I must be a doormat too, because I’ve never been able to refuse my DH sex. He doesn’t force himself or anything, but I just know he’d flip if I turned him down after he initiated. Like, practically, how do you say ‘not today.’ ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is this reason enough to leave? Yes, we have kids.

My DH is nonstop invalidating of me.

Sex life is fine/good. Apparently I don’t need an emotional connection for that.

But I’ve been hurt and gaslighted relentlessly, and I’m beginning to wonder if I would walk through life less devastated if I wasn’t being hurt and denigrated all the time.

?

In other words, everything is fine for him. He has no incentive to change.

Wife lessons 101. Sex is the one-and-only way to incentivize a male.
If you want him to DO something, have plenty of sex.
If you want him to STOP doing something, don't have sex.

Not OP, but how do you do this? I must be a doormat too, because I’ve never been able to refuse my DH sex. He doesn’t force himself or anything, but I just know he’d flip if I turned him down after he initiated. Like, practically, how do you say ‘not today.’ ?

He's an asshole. I sometimes tell DH no. Not because I'm mad at him but because I'm exhausted or have something on my mind and can't get in the mood (my dad is very sick right now). DH has NEVER flipped, yelled, or even been anything but respectful. And sometimes he turns me down for similar reasons and I'm nothing but respectful back. I could never stay with someone who flipped out if I wasn't in the mood for sex. Btw we have a good sex life, 3-4 times a week which has been pretty consistent since DS was born 6 years ago

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is this reason enough to leave? Yes, we have kids.

My DH is nonstop invalidating of me.

Sex life is fine/good. Apparently I don’t need an emotional connection for that.

But I’ve been hurt and gaslighted relentlessly, and I’m beginning to wonder if I would walk through life less devastated if I wasn’t being hurt and denigrated all the time.

?

In other words, everything is fine for him. He has no incentive to change.

Wife lessons 101. Sex is the one-and-only way to incentivize a male.
If you want him to DO something, have plenty of sex.
If you want him to STOP doing something, don't have sex.

Not OP, but how do you do this? I must be a doormat too, because I’ve never been able to refuse my DH sex. He doesn’t force himself or anything, but I just know he’d flip if I turned him down after he initiated. Like, practically, how do you say ‘not today.’ ?

Yeah, I hear you. I have the same issue. Not that he'd flip out, but not being able to say no.

[Anonymous]

I realized early on he can’t emotionally connect nor speak with most people outside of work topics or what he let read on Apple news. He’s turned into a talking mass media OpEd. It’s horrible. But at least a he’s non-emotional and has no option on in anything

[Anonymous]

Some men are just not going to be ‘deep’ and fulfill your passion. I look for stability in my marriage and have come to terms with seeking emotional connections with others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some men are just not going to be ‘deep’ and fulfill your passion. I look for stability in my marriage and have come to terms with seeking emotional connections with others.

APs?