Reply to What if you realize that you haven’t been emotionally connected to DH for years?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Is this reason enough to leave? Yes, we have kids.

My DH is nonstop invalidating of me.

[b]Sex life is fine/good[/b]. Apparently I don’t need an emotional connection for that.

But I’ve been hurt and gaslighted relentlessly, and I’m beginning to wonder if I would walk through life less devastated if I wasn’t being hurt and denigrated all the time.

?[/quote]

In other words, everything is fine for him. He has no [b]incentive [/b]to change.[/quote]
Wife lessons 101. Sex is the one-and-only way to [b]incentivize [/b]a male.
If you want him to DO something, have plenty of sex.
If you want him to STOP doing something, don't have sex.[/quote]

Not OP, but how do you do this? I must be a doormat too, because I’ve never been able to refuse my DH sex. He doesn’t force himself or anything, but I just know he’d flip if I turned him down after he initiated. Like, practically, how do you say ‘not today.’ ?[/quote]

He's an asshole.  I sometimes tell DH no.  Not because I'm mad at him but because I'm exhausted or have something on my mind and can't get in the mood (my dad is very sick right now).  DH has NEVER flipped, yelled, or even been anything but respectful.   And sometimes he turns me down for similar reasons and I'm nothing but respectful back.  I could never stay with someone who flipped out if I wasn't in the mood for sex.  Btw we have a good sex life, 3-4 times a week which has been pretty consistent since DS was born 6 years ago[/quote]

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