3 kids with different spacing??

[Anonymous]

Anyone have their first two kids close together and then a third further out? I have a 2 year old and a 10
Month old who are 14 months apart. My DH and I both want a third but we aren’t sure if we are ready (space-wise and financially) to go for a third yet or if we should wait another year until we could afford to finish our basement (this creating a room for the third child who currently wouldn’t have a bedroom). My worry is that she/he might feel like she is the outsider compared to my first two, who are so close in age (and likely will be close in relationship), esp if it’s another girl or if we do wait a year and then it takes me awhile to get pregnant. Is this a silly worry? Anyone have this spacing and care to share?

[Anonymous]

Of course, people have wider spacing. Not everyone wants to bunch their kids close together (I have two that are 4.5 years apart by choice). I just got a post on my listserv asking for a summer sitter for an 11 year old, a 9 year old and a 10 month old. There are many ways to make a family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Anyone have their first two kids close together and then a third further out? I have a 2 year old and a 10
Month old who are 14 months apart. My DH and I both want a third but we aren’t sure if we are ready (space-wise and financially) to go for a third yet or if we should wait another year until we could afford to finish our basement (this creating a room for the third child who currently wouldn’t have a bedroom). My worry is that she/he might feel like she is the outsider compared to my first two, who are so close in age (and likely will be close in relationship), esp if it’s another girl or if we do wait a year and then it takes me awhile to get pregnant. Is this a silly worry? Anyone have this spacing and care to share?

Older parent here, I had 3 kids within 2.5 years (set of twins) - was great since got it all done and caught up with friends who spaced theirs over a 10 year period. All kids had roughly similar interests and enjoyed vacations together, i.e. Disney, Europe, etc.. Kept us busy with sports carpools at that time, but all went through life experiences in a close timeframe. But if you are going to get emotional about it - kind of sad at the end since they all moved out in a close timeframe. Been feeling sorry for ourselves and help the pain by by lots of international travel

[Anonymous]

we have 2.5 and then 4.5 year gap. it works well for us. personally 14 month gap that you have would not be my favorite.

that said, i wouldn't wait because of the basement.

[Anonymous]

I have three. My youngest are almost 13 months apart, 6 months and 18 months, both girls (not planned). My son is 5.

I don't regret the 4 year gap between my first and second at all because I appreciate the extra set of hands. Having two under 2 is what threw me for a loop and my husband and I are barely hanging on so my hat goes off to you for even considering!

[Anonymous]

You are way overthinking this. People have kids with all kinds of spacing.

[Anonymous]

Having a third quickly will wreck your body.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Having a third quickly will wreck your body.

+1 I always feel sorry for people who have lots of kids in quick succession. They don't get a chance to enjoy babyhood, and it's physically exhausting.

[Anonymous]

I have a 9 yr old and 7 yr old (18 months apart) and a 2 yr old. With my first 2, their infancy and toddler yrs are a bit of a blur. I worked full time initially with my first then when my second came i was chasing after a very active toddler always. I had my youngest the same yr my middle child went to kindergarten. I have been able to savor all the tiny moments with her since it is just the two of us at home during the day. It has been such a joy and I love it. But there are challenges with meeting the needs and wants of older kids and a baby at the same time, especially if you have a spouse that isn't available to help

[Anonymous]

I have three- 6,4,2. I enjoy the spacing. It was hardest the first year and has now started getting more enjoyable. We didn’t have the luxury to wait, so here we are! I wouldn’t wait to start trying if you really want three

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are way overthinking this. People have kids with all kinds of spacing.

I hate when people say this. My boys are 18 months apart. They are now almost 4 and 2.5. We are trying for a 3rd, so he/she will be at least 3 years apart from our youngest. I’m worried about it. Overthinking? Maybe. But it’s ok to have on your mind.

[Anonymous]

My first two kids are three and a half years apart. The third is 10 years younger than the oldest. They are very close.

Here’s the thing I had to grapple with. When you have an age gap you have to decide whether you want to hold your older
Kids back from doing age appropriate things because the age appropriate things for them are not appropriate for the youngest or allow the youngest to hang with the older kids even though they are doing things that are really too old for the youngest or separate your kids into two groups.

I opted to let my youngest experience things at a younger age than I ever thought I would because I didn’t want to separate her from the older kids and I didn’t want the older kids to be treated like babies. It’s somewhat comedic when we’d realize that a scary part was about to happen in a movie and all of us would dive to cover her eyes and ears. I don’t regret my decision because, like I said, my kids are very close and really enjoy each other’s company.

[Anonymous]

My first two are three years and three months apart.

Then nine years after #2 I had #3. So #1 was 12 yrs old. Then three years after that I had #4.

All four are close.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are way overthinking this. People have kids with all kinds of spacing.

I hate when people say this. My boys are 18 months apart. They are now almost 4 and 2.5. We are trying for a 3rd, so he/she will be at least 3 years apart from our youngest. I’m worried about it. Overthinking? Maybe. But it’s ok to have on your mind.

Oh no! 3 years?!

[Anonymous]

When my youngest brother was born, the ages of my other brothers and myself were: 22, 19, 16 (me), and 3. Same parents/marriage.

I have a friend whose kids are 9, 7, and infant.

It really will all work out regardless of spacing.