Would you be offended?

[Anonymous]

There's a group of moms with young kids (under 4) that meet at a public space once or a week, sometimes host playdates.
The same people are always invited.

Now I'm hosting the playdate and will not be inviting one of the moms and her child. It's nothing against them, but the child just does not like mine. For the past few weeks he goes out of his way to take everything my kid has, hit, slap, grab, push down, etc.
I don't want to invite this child just to have him shove my kid around.
I don't expect it to last forever, and who knows, maybe in a month he'll be over it and want to be best friends with my son. But for now, I think it's best not to invite someone who will be hitting and taking everything from my son, while in his own home.

If it makes a difference, it's also my son's birthday party. Not that he's old enough to really get the concept of a birthday party. Basically just a playdate but with balloons and mini cupcakes.

How much drama should I expect from this?

[Anonymous]

"Now I'm hosting the playdate and will not be inviting one of the moms and her child. It's nothing against them"

Just stop. Right there. It IS against them. You are excluding people on purpose. If you are going to do it, have the stones to tell the other mom why.

Better yet, teach your child how to start standing up for themselves. There will always be bullies. They never go away. Teach your child resilience. Don't teach them to shrink and hide.

[Anonymous]

If you're specifically excluding only one person from a consistent group, yeah, you need to talk to the other mom about the situation or you're being offensive.

[Anonymous]

Invite the other child.

[Anonymous]

I would prepare to be cut out of the group.

[Anonymous]

Yes of course she will be offended. You are specifically leaving one person out, that will always make someone feel just that - left out. You may have your reasons but there’s no way around that being unkind. You need to at least talk to the other mom about your concerns. There might be other solutions if she’s aware of the concern, maybe she could monitor closely at the party if you approached this in a caring way with her and discussed your concerns.

[Anonymous]

No, but I'd know you were a total bitch.

[Anonymous]

I would be disappointed in my child but not offended. If my child was shoving yours, I don't think you should invite my child to your child's birthday party. It would be nice of you to tell the other mom, though, in the most diplomatic way possible.

[Anonymous]

And people think HS girls are mean.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would prepare to be cut out of the group.

This. I would drop you too. I don’t need these types of people in my life or my kids life b

[Anonymous]

I find it interesting that you are fully aware that you are slighting one Mom and her kid, by explaining it will be one Mom and her kid, and then with the flippant remark " its not against them..."while you go on to explain what the issue is which IS against them. Are you the passive aggresive poster Mom? Can you grow up?

[Anonymous]

Invite the kid. Don’t be that mom. They are 3

[Anonymous]

I would be offended if it was my kid being excluded and I would be just as offended if I was one of the other moms in the group. I’d be honest and tell you how offensive it and remind you that all children do this to each other and I promise one day it will be your child that hits. You think this mother wants her child to misbehave? Have some sympathy and support and help each other not exclude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would prepare to be cut out of the group.

Agree. I would drop you if you did this to our established group.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would be disappointed in my child but not offended. If my child was shoving yours, I don't think you should invite my child to your child's birthday party. It would be nice of you to tell the other mom, though, in the most diplomatic way possible.

Jeez, how about an adult conversation about how to manage the kids together in a productive way, instead of slighting and hurting feelings, while enjoying your martyrdom gossip fest at the party- BTW also loved how you threw that little fact in, when initially it was branded as a get together. You are punishing the kid and the Mom but acting as if this is ok. So why did you write here? You know this is wrong, you know you have passive aggressive issues, you know this might go down pretty badly ....why seek validation here?