5 year old DS said" Mom is Fat"
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Anonymous
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To his 3 year old brother today, while I was dragging them to several doc appts where they were behaving horribly. I almost started sobbing. The truth is, yes I am fat, up 30 lbs until recently from second pregnancy, have lost 15 lbs in last two months so I am trying.
What is the right response to this? I ignored it. I know we all feel this way but get can I get a break? I am killing myself to do everything I can for kids while still working, commuting downtown, while DH works from.home (and yes cooks way more meals than me, does laundry too). My job feels my performance has gone from being fantastic to satisfactory, our house is always a mess, my brother is having a mental health crisis halfway across country in California..... and my kid tells me I'm fat. AWESOME. |
Anonymous
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Ugh. I’m so sorry OP. Kids are jerks. You should tell him that wasn’t nice, and it hurt your feelings. It is never nice to comment about other people’s bodies.
Hang in there. You aren’t alone. |
Anonymous
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Hugs from a used-to-be-thin, now-I'm-fat dad.
Call your kid out on this. You'd do it if he were saying other types of nasty things. And know you're not alone. Your value isn't in how you look. |
Anonymous
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OP I'm really sorry. That must sting.
Honestly with my almost 5 year old I feel like I have 3 options for the things he does that are "bad". 1) Ignore. Not because what he's doing is okay, but because if I react, the chances that he'll repeat the behavior jump 1000%. I use this technique for things like: his overuse of the word poop, minor annoying behavior like stomping around loudly, etc. 2) Physically stop him from doing the bad thing: i.e. tormenting his little brother, using a toy inappropriately etc. 3) Implement an immediate and appropriate consequence, and do so consistently. So, if he does throw the toy because I can't stop him, toy gets put away. If he doesn't get ready for bed, we don't have time for books, that sort of thing. I say all this because to me, your choice to ignore is, to me, the best option from the tools you have available to you. So I think you did the right thing. Anyway, I'm sorry you're having an overall hard time. Try to be kind to yourself and treat yourself like you would a friend in the same situation. You'd tell your friend that they were awesome and beautiful and going through a shit-ton of stuff, right? Whatever pep talk you'd give, try giving it yourself. Hang in there. |
Anonymous
| My kid jiggles my belly and says "now, we have to do something about this." Little asshole is right. Just learn to laugh about it. Seems like you're doing a great job. |
Anonymous
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Nothing. You do nothing. You are already losing weight and I am not joking I was 115lbs and my kids at that age told me I was fat!!
It sounds that you are a busy mom, that has, as so many of us do, neglected herself and are overwhelmed. This was me when dd was 2 and ds was 4. Both kids were sick with issues lasting months and years,(FTT and anxiety) DH was overseas and I just enrolled in one of those gyms that has a child care. And I went every single day with kids in tow. After that I continued to make time for things I like. Go to movies on my own, go to gym while DH was with the kids(once he was back). I learned dressage and it cost money and time and I was working by that time. And I just spent more money on healthy food that I wanted to eat. I was still there and worked like nuts, but I left kids with DH all the time. I wish you the best of luck and I tell you to learn to put yourself first, at least several times per week. |
Anonymous
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Tell the kid it's not nice to call people fat.
Pretty soon he'll be the sh*thead in school calling the chubby kids fat. Don't become the parents of the dbag. |
Anonymous
Dp. Thanks for the laugh! |
Anonymous
He hit you dead between the eyes, huh? Just let him know that it isn't ok to comment on anyone's body, including yours. |
Anonymous
PS - I'm still trying to lose (riiiiight) that baby weight weight and MY youngest son will be 8. You have lost 15 lbs - keep going! |
Anonymous
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He has no idea that's not a nice thing to say. Just teach him. Tell him, that's not a nice thing to say. And move on. Don't turn it into something bigger.
And good for you, sounds like you're doing great with your weight loss. |
Anonymous
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My 4 year old loves to comment on my belly. Here are my responses.
"Yes, I wish it wasn't so big. That's why I have to go exercise." (aka, put her in gym childcare) "That's true, but it hurts my feelings when you say that. We don't talk about other people's bodies." "Yes, sometimes bellies get bigger after mommies have babies! You stretched it out!" |
Anonymous
| You do sound like you are doing great. Keep it up! Also, even normal weighted people have kids that say that, because to a little kid, everything is big. |
Anonymous
So you are telling your kid that she is to blame for you being overweight? Mom is fat because of you?! This is how being overweight is normalized in our society. A. You caused it. B. You are hurting my feelings! Talk about guilt tripping a 4 year old! |
Anonymous
| My almost four year old asks me if there's a baby in my tummy periodically. I tell her, "Nope! No more babies!" |