He went to Detox and started drinking the day he go out

[Anonymous]

He was in detox for 4 days, refused further treatment, came home and promptly went to purchase more alcohol. This is an almost 20 year marriage with kids involved. I had decided a while ago I was moving on and this was his attempt to keep the marriage together and get me off his back. I had little hope he’d actually quit drinking and sure enough, within hours he had restocked his supply. I’ve consulted with an attorney and was given basic advise on what to do but anytime I want to talk to her it’s going to cost $ obviously. He went to a hotel last night and I don’t want him back in the house. Is there anything I can do to stop him from moving back in? How do I protect my credit from him? We live in Fairfax County.

[Anonymous]

Consult the lawyer. If you’re really serious, then don’t cheap out now. Besides, talking to a real person makes it real and raises the accountability on you to really follow through. No one here on an anonymous forum will hold you accountable. Suck it up and talk to your lawyer.

[Anonymous]

I'm very sorry. You MUST kick him out of the house.

See a lawyer, file for separation, move the money somewhere he can't access it, don't spend it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm very sorry. You MUST kick him out of the house.

See a lawyer, file for separation, move the money somewhere he can't access it, don't spend it.

You can't just kick people out of their own home. This isn't TV.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm very sorry. You MUST kick him out of the house.

See a lawyer, file for separation, move the money somewhere he can't access it, don't spend it.

You can't just kick people out of their own home. This isn't TV.

Yes you can. Being an addict is a form of abuse and the courts will ask him to go to treatment or move out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm very sorry. You MUST kick him out of the house.

See a lawyer, file for separation, move the money somewhere he can't access it, don't spend it.

You can't just kick people out of their own home. This isn't TV.

Yes you can. Being an addict is a form of abuse and the courts will ask him to go to treatment or move out.

Lawyer here. Not even close to that simple.

Sorry, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm very sorry. You MUST kick him out of the house.

See a lawyer, file for separation, move the money somewhere he can't access it, don't spend it.

You can't just kick people out of their own home. This isn't TV.

Yes you can. Being an addict is a form of abuse and the courts will ask him to go to treatment or move out.

Which is not the same as OP kicking him out. Addiction alone does not equal abuse. OP, the initial advice to talk to your lawyer is appropriate. You need to begin the separation process legally.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm very sorry. You MUST kick him out of the house.

See a lawyer, file for separation, move the money somewhere he can't access it, don't spend it.

You can't just kick people out of their own home. This isn't TV.

Yes you can. Being an addict is a form of abuse and the courts will ask him to go to treatment or move out.

Lawyer here. Not even close to that simple.

Sorry, OP.

maybe you are not a good lawyer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm very sorry. You MUST kick him out of the house.

See a lawyer, file for separation, move the money somewhere he can't access it, don't spend it.

You can't just kick people out of their own home. This isn't TV.

Yes you can. Being an addict is a form of abuse and the courts will ask him to go to treatment or move out.

Lawyer here. Not even close to that simple.

Sorry, OP.

maybe you are not a good lawyer.

NP here. Maybe you’re naive.

[Anonymous]

OP think about how a broken home will affect the children. As a family member said to me when I was thinking of leaving DH - "it takes two people to make a marriage work and two people to make a marriage fail"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP think about how a broken home will affect the children. As a family member said to me when I was thinking of leaving DH - "it takes two people to make a marriage work and two people to make a marriage fail"

Seriously? That's not even close to true.

This thread has got to be a record for the worst advice given.

[Anonymous]

Yes you should be talking to a lawyer but don’t confuse them with a therapist. My suggestion, as a lawyer, is to see a therapist FIRST. It’s very expensive to mistake your lawyer for a kind friend or therapist.

[Anonymous]

Freeze your credit report. Also pull a copy of it from all three bureaus and find out what they think you owe. Get the attorney's advice about how to handle joint accounts. You need this advice in the next 48 hours or so. Good luck OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP think about how a broken home will affect the children. As a family member said to me when I was thinking of leaving DH - "it takes two people to make a marriage work and two people to make a marriage fail"

It take 2 to tango, it only takes 1 to f up a tango.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP think about how a broken home will affect the children. As a family member said to me when I was thinking of leaving DH - "it takes two people to make a marriage work and two people to make a marriage fail"

Seriously? That's not even close to true.

This thread has got to be a record for the worst advice given.

+1 for worst advice ever. As a mom, it was my responsibility to protect my kids from my ex-spouse's alcoholism when he demonstrated that he was not willing to stop drinking. His alcoholism is not something that I chose, and it is not something that I can change. He made the choice to end the marriage when he refused to get help for his drinking.

Please read up on Adult Children of Alcoholics.... parental alcoholism has long term inter-generational negative impacts.

In this situation, divorce is the lesser of two evils.

I am proud that I gave my kids a loving, healthy, stable family home to grow up in. Their maternal great grandfather was a mean alcoholic. Their maternal grandmother was a lovely woman who went to rehab several times and was still drinking at the end of her life. Their father also had a drinking problem. I hope that I am raising my kids in a way that they have a healthy relationship with alcohol, appropriate to their serious family medical risk of alcoholism.