Middle schoolers at Starbucks after school

[Anonymous]

My dd is heading to middle school in the fall. Within a short walking distance of the school is a grocery store with a Starbucks inside. If I am ever there around the time school is letting out, I often see MS students buying snacks at the store or Starbucks drinks. Sometimes I see them there before school, too.

If you have a middle schooler with access to food/drink like this, how do you manage what they spend? Do you give them allowance? Do they spend their own money? Are you worried about those sugar/caffeine bombs at Starbucks and do you advise them to not have them as much? I know 6th grade is the start of more independence and I want to do things right, but we don’t have a Starbucks budget for the adults in our family, let alone the kids. How do you handle this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My dd is heading to middle school in the fall. Within a short walking distance of the school is a grocery store with a Starbucks inside. If I am ever there around the time school is letting out, I often see MS students buying snacks at the store or Starbucks drinks. Sometimes I see them there before school, too.

If you have a middle schooler with access to food/drink like this, how do you manage what they spend? Do you give them allowance? Do they spend their own money? Are you worried about those sugar/caffeine bombs at Starbucks and do you advise them to not have them as much? I know 6th grade is the start of more independence and I want to do things right, but we don’t have a Starbucks budget for the adults in our family, let alone the kids. How do you handle this?

Our kids are in a similar situation. Starbucks cards for birthdays or other gift-giving occasions. And we set a monthly budget that we would put on a Starbucks card. This helped manage the sugar bombs, because iced tea is cheaper than one of those sugary drinks, but it also let the kids decide what they wanted and limited it to a reasonable amount. We found that first few months, it was all about Starbucks, to the point where they would give us saved allowance money and ask for more money on their cards. As time went on, they would go, hang out with friends, but often not buy anything. On the few occasions I was able to observe, I'd say probably half the kids bought something at any given time.

We're not a Starbucks family, either. But decided that the grab for independence fit in with our goals to help them learn to manage spending. It's not easy, especially using plastic. Having to track how much money they had left, how much they could spend, how they could earn more money at home or in the neighborhood, it all turned out to be a good experience.

[Anonymous]

I have a 24 year old. The kids that went to Caribou (like starbucks but what was near his school) in 6th grade were the same kids that were smoking pot in 9th grade (normal in 11th not in 9th) and going to weekend music festivals in 11th and 12th (normal in college not in high school)

Kids need for adventure and independence increases yearly. Start with the mall independence and starbucks independence in 8th not 6th if you can. They will grow up fast enough.

[Anonymous]

I only give my kids Starbucks money occasionally. I put gift cards in their stockings at Christmas. It is ridiculously expensive and we just don’t spend money that way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a 24 year old. The kids that went to Caribou (like starbucks but what was near his school) in 6th grade were the same kids that were smoking pot in 9th grade (normal in 11th not in 9th) and going to weekend music festivals in 11th and 12th (normal in college not in high school)

Kids need for adventure and independence increases yearly. Start with the mall independence and starbucks independence in 8th not 6th if you can. They will grow up fast enough.

Ah yes, Caribou coffee, the ultimate gateway drug

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a 24 year old. The kids that went to Caribou (like starbucks but what was near his school) in 6th grade were the same kids that were smoking pot in 9th grade (normal in 11th not in 9th) and going to weekend music festivals in 11th and 12th (normal in college not in high school)

Kids need for adventure and independence increases yearly. Start with the mall independence and starbucks independence in 8th not 6th if you can. They will grow up fast enough.

Ah yes, Caribou coffee, the ultimate gateway drug

They go so fast from brown sugar in their coffee to in their veins. My how time flys.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a 24 year old. The kids that went to Caribou (like starbucks but what was near his school) in 6th grade were the same kids that were smoking pot in 9th grade (normal in 11th not in 9th) and going to weekend music festivals in 11th and 12th (normal in college not in high school)

Kids need for adventure and independence increases yearly. Start with the mall independence and starbucks independence in 8th not 6th if you can. They will grow up fast enough.

Ah yes, Caribou coffee, the ultimate gateway drug

They go so fast from brown sugar in their coffee to in their veins. My how time flys.

DP here. PPs are joking but I can see what the PP meant by not letting your child rush through these steps of independent adventures. It is human nature to want to do more and more so letting your kid have it all to soon can lead to a faster pace of chasing the next thrill. I know from our own experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a 24 year old. The kids that went to Caribou (like starbucks but what was near his school) in 6th grade were the same kids that were smoking pot in 9th grade (normal in 11th not in 9th) and going to weekend music festivals in 11th and 12th (normal in college not in high school)

Kids need for adventure and independence increases yearly. Start with the mall independence and starbucks independence in 8th not 6th if you can. They will grow up fast enough.

This is so stupid.

[Anonymous]

They get an allowance and how they spend it is their discretion (within reason, they shouldn't be doing anything illegal). So long as the snacking from Starbucks doesn't interfere with sleep, behavior, or family dinner plans, I don't care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They get an allowance and how they spend it is their discretion (within reason, they shouldn't be doing anything illegal). So long as the snacking from Starbucks doesn't interfere with sleep, behavior, or family dinner plans, I don't care.

Same here. Child gets her age ($13) each week. How she spends it is on her.

[Anonymous]

My 6th Grader goes to get Bubble Tea with her friends, so I’m no way wondering what Bubble Tea will lead to in her future but I’m grateful for the assurance that it’s not pot and weekend festivals.

We give her like $5 when she goes but it’s not a weekly event. She has gone twice all year. She gets so exceptionally excited to go and she is beaming with pride that we let her go with her friends. She has generally been a very attached Momma’s baby, and this independence is important for her. I have enforced that she must return my texts when she’s out but I don’t text her constantly, either.

[Anonymous]

Occasionally my dd will hang out at Starbucks with her friends after school since its next to her school. She is in 8th grade. She gets an allowance from her dad and its up to her how she spends it. They will also hang out at Sweet Frog.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 6th Grader goes to get Bubble Tea with her friends, so I’m no way wondering what Bubble Tea will lead to in her future but I’m grateful for the assurance that it’s not pot and weekend festivals.

We give her like $5 when she goes but it’s not a weekly event. She has gone twice all year. She gets so exceptionally excited to go and she is beaming with pride that we let her go with her friends. She has generally been a very attached Momma’s baby, and this independence is important for her. I have enforced that she must return my texts when she’s out but I don’t text her constantly, either.

Bubble tea leads to vaping and EDM parties...careful

[Anonymous]

I've got three kids and there are food/coffee places within walking distance of the ES, MS and HS. Starting when the kids were in about 5th grade, we would let them walk from the ES to the nearby fast food place when we were not able to pick them up at dismissal. We gave them $5 each for food/beverage and they were to do HW or read until we got there. The kids LOVED it and it really helped foster a sense of independence. We provided them cash instead of a gift card so they could better learn to manage cost/change/etc. Sometimes we would drop them off in the morning if we had an early meeting and couldn't wait until school doors opened.

Now that they're in MS/HS, they don't go as much after school (and not at all before since they ride the bus now) but if they are choosing to go, they need to use their money to purchase stuff. If it's because I need them to be there for some reason, I give them money for purchases. They also get gift cards at Christmas and for birthdays.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a 24 year old. The kids that went to Caribou (like starbucks but what was near his school) in 6th grade were the same kids that were smoking pot in 9th grade (normal in 11th not in 9th) and going to weekend music festivals in 11th and 12th (normal in college not in high school)

Kids need for adventure and independence increases yearly. Start with the mall independence and starbucks independence in 8th not 6th if you can. They will grow up fast enough.

Ah yes, Caribou coffee, the ultimate gateway drug

They go so fast from brown sugar in their coffee to in their veins. My how time flys.