I haven't bonded with my new puppy-- still miss my old dog

[Anonymous]

I know the new puppy would never replace my old boy-- and that's not why we got him. I wanted to create new memories with a new member of our family. But I feel like I'm keeping the puppy at a distance-- literally and figuratively. Don't get me wrong-- he gets PLENTY of love from my 3 kids and husband. Lots of attention and play and affection. And he's affectionate right back! But I don't want to get too attached. I just keep thinking about my old dog....and missing him....

Does this get better?! Why can't I move on!?

Thanks.

[Anonymous]

go to therapy with your dog

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry, OP. We got our puppy a couple months after losing our old dog. I made an effort to sit with her each night and snuggle with kisses and pets.

Puppies want to love all over you, and they're cute and sweet. Let him love you and you'll find your bond with him.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like you weren't ready to get a new dog.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like you weren't ready to get a new dog.

I agree with this comment. But you say that your husband and children are enjoying the puppy, so give it time, you'll be OK..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know the new puppy would never replace my old boy-- and that's not why we got him. I wanted to create new memories with a new member of our family. But I feel like I'm keeping the puppy at a distance-- literally and figuratively. Don't get me wrong-- he gets PLENTY of love from my 3 kids and husband. Lots of attention and play and affection. And he's affectionate right back! But I don't want to get too attached. I just keep thinking about my old dog....and missing him....

Does this get better?! Why can't I move on!?

Thanks.

OP, from your post I assume losing your dog is the most tragic thing that has happened in your life. If that's the case, count your blessings ...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know the new puppy would never replace my old boy-- and that's not why we got him. I wanted to create new memories with a new member of our family. But I feel like I'm keeping the puppy at a distance-- literally and figuratively. Don't get me wrong-- he gets PLENTY of love from my 3 kids and husband. Lots of attention and play and affection. And he's affectionate right back! But I don't want to get too attached. I just keep thinking about my old dog....and missing him....

Does this get better?! Why can't I move on!?

Thanks.

OP, from your post I assume losing your dog is the most tragic thing that has happened in your life. If that's the case, count your blessings ...

You clearly don’t have dogs or you wouldn’t say an ignorant thing like that.

[Anonymous]

I had a similar situation with my cat - and I wasn't even a "cat person" before we got him (my husband is the cat person). We have two now, but they're not as friendly/snuggly as my departed buddy who met me at the door every day and slept next to me. I miss him a lot.

I think that, as long as your puppy is getting plenty of love and engagement from the rest of your family, you do you and take your time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know the new puppy would never replace my old boy-- and that's not why we got him. I wanted to create new memories with a new member of our family. But I feel like I'm keeping the puppy at a distance-- literally and figuratively. Don't get me wrong-- he gets PLENTY of love from my 3 kids and husband. Lots of attention and play and affection. And he's affectionate right back! But I don't want to get too attached. I just keep thinking about my old dog....and missing him....

Does this get better?! Why can't I move on!?

Thanks.

OP, from your post I assume losing your dog is the most tragic thing that has happened in your life. If that's the case, count your blessings ...

You clearly don’t have dogs or you wouldn’t say an ignorant thing like that.

Hmm, I would tend to agree with the other PP, who said she's been lucky. I would miss my spouse, kids or parents incredibly more than I would miss my beloved pup.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had a similar situation with my cat - and I wasn't even a "cat person" before we got him (my husband is the cat person). We have two now, but they're not as friendly/snuggly as my departed buddy who met me at the door every day and slept next to me. I miss him a lot.

I think that, as long as your puppy is getting plenty of love and engagement from the rest of your family, you do you and take your time.

Wow, I could have written this about my first beloved cat. Neither of our two now compare and it really sucks. But they get plenty of love.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know the new puppy would never replace my old boy-- and that's not why we got him. I wanted to create new memories with a new member of our family. But I feel like I'm keeping the puppy at a distance-- literally and figuratively. Don't get me wrong-- he gets PLENTY of love from my 3 kids and husband. Lots of attention and play and affection. And he's affectionate right back! But I don't want to get too attached. I just keep thinking about my old dog....and missing him....

Does this get better?! Why can't I move on!?

Thanks.

OP, from your post I assume losing your dog is the most tragic thing that has happened in your life. If that's the case, count your blessings ...

You clearly don’t have dogs or you wouldn’t say an ignorant thing like that.

I agree. People do not understand how devastating losing a family pet can be...and part of the problem is that no one understands.

OP..your dog would want you to bond with this dog. Sounds trite and patronizing, but it is true. Love as a verb for awhile, and things will click.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know the new puppy would never replace my old boy-- and that's not why we got him. I wanted to create new memories with a new member of our family. But I feel like I'm keeping the puppy at a distance-- literally and figuratively. Don't get me wrong-- he gets PLENTY of love from my 3 kids and husband. Lots of attention and play and affection. And he's affectionate right back! But I don't want to get too attached. I just keep thinking about my old dog....and missing him....

Does this get better?! Why can't I move on!?

Thanks.

OP, from your post I assume losing your dog is the most tragic thing that has happened in your life. If that's the case, count your blessings ...

You clearly don’t have dogs or you wouldn’t say an ignorant thing like that.

Hmm, I would tend to agree with the other PP, who said she's been lucky. I would miss my spouse, kids or parents incredibly more than I would miss my beloved pup.

I too agree with the PP who said she's been lucky. I've lost two parents, 2 cats and a dog. I was sorry to lose the cats and the dog but nothing hurt me more than losing my parents. But I guess if the person has only ever lost a pet, they may think that nothing hurts more than losing an animal.

[Anonymous]

I was the same way op. My previous dog was my works. She had been with me through my hardest times of my life and I had her before I got married. When she died I was devastated. I cried or she’d a tear daily for almost 2 years. My husband finally got us a puppy (more so for the kids) and even though I picked her out i could not bond with her and sis not love her. I tired. It took close to a year and now I absolutely adore her. I turned down two vacations because I did not want to leave her and was worried about her. She is my pal and I love her just as much as I loved my first dog although she will never replace her.

It’s like kids. When I had my second child I was in fear that I wouldn’t not love him as much as I loved my first born. It took me a couple months to bond with him as well. Now he is everything. You find a way in your heart to love them all and look for the good and differences in them.

If your puppy is yours, just give it a little more time. If the puppy is more your husbands dog, you may have a harder time bonding no matter how much time passes and that is ok too.

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know the new puppy would never replace my old boy-- and that's not why we got him. I wanted to create new memories with a new member of our family. But I feel like I'm keeping the puppy at a distance-- literally and figuratively. Don't get me wrong-- he gets PLENTY of love from my 3 kids and husband. Lots of attention and play and affection. And he's affectionate right back! But I don't want to get too attached. I just keep thinking about my old dog....and missing him....

Does this get better?! Why can't I move on!?

Thanks.

OP, from your post I assume losing your dog is the most tragic thing that has happened in your life. If that's the case, count your blessings ...

You clearly don’t have dogs or you wouldn’t say an ignorant thing like that.

Hmm, I would tend to agree with the other PP, who said she's been lucky. I would miss my spouse, kids or parents incredibly more than I would miss my beloved pup.

I too agree with the PP who said she's been lucky. I've lost two parents, 2 cats and a dog. I was sorry to lose the cats and the dog but nothing hurt me more than losing my parents. But I guess if the person has only ever lost a pet, they may think that nothing hurts more than losing an animal.

I’m sorry that you are projecting your grief. Nowhere did the OP say that it was worse than losing a human family member. Sounds like you have some things to work through if you can’t comprehend that a dog owner would grieve the death of their dog.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know the new puppy would never replace my old boy-- and that's not why we got him. I wanted to create new memories with a new member of our family. But I feel like I'm keeping the puppy at a distance-- literally and figuratively. Don't get me wrong-- he gets PLENTY of love from my 3 kids and husband. Lots of attention and play and affection. And he's affectionate right back! But I don't want to get too attached. I just keep thinking about my old dog....and missing him....

Does this get better?! Why can't I move on!?

Thanks.

OP, from your post I assume losing your dog is the most tragic thing that has happened in your life. If that's the case, count your blessings ...

You clearly don’t have dogs or you wouldn’t say an ignorant thing like that.

Hmm, I would tend to agree with the other PP, who said she's been lucky. I would miss my spouse, kids or parents incredibly more than I would miss my beloved pup.

I too agree with the PP who said she's been lucky. I've lost two parents, 2 cats and a dog. I was sorry to lose the cats and the dog but nothing hurt me more than losing my parents. But I guess if the person has only ever lost a pet, they may think that nothing hurts more than losing an animal.

I’m sorry that you are projecting your grief. Nowhere did the OP say that it was worse than losing a human family member. Sounds like you have some things to work through if you can’t comprehend that a dog owner would grieve the death of their dog.

No, I'm fine thanks.