Stretching to pay for private preschool

[Anonymous]

DW and I are looking into what we're going to do for our son when we transition out of a nanny share down the road. If we stretch, we could afford to send him to a well-regarded but expensive full-day private preschool in NWDC. Or we could send him to a great daycare with a prek curriculum for way less $$$. To me, this is a no-brainer - we send him to daycare and save that money for other things. My wife is a bit more emotional about it and feels guilty, as though we wouldn't be doing what is "best" for him. So, from a financial standpoint, what is the return on investment for sending your kid to a fancy private preschool? What are you ACTUALLY getting for that money that you would not be getting with daycare?

[Anonymous]

I can't think of anything more wasteful. Your wife is making an emotional not rational decision.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can't think of anything more wasteful. Your wife is making an emotional not rational decision.

OP here, and I agree. And I think she knows it too but is just feeling some guilt that I can't really relate to, so I am trying to lay it out as logically and not emotionally as possible (without sounding like a know-it-all jerk).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can't think of anything more wasteful. Your wife is making an emotional not rational decision.

This. Save that money for college when it will actually be useful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DW and I are looking into what we're going to do for our son when we transition out of a nanny share down the road. If we stretch, we could afford to send him to a well-regarded but expensive full-day private preschool in NWDC. Or we could send him to a great daycare with a prek curriculum for way less $$$. To me, this is a no-brainer - we send him to daycare and save that money for other things. My wife is a bit more emotional about it and feels guilty, as though we wouldn't be doing what is "best" for him. So, from a financial standpoint, what is the return on investment for sending your kid to a fancy private preschool? What are you ACTUALLY getting for that money that you would not be getting with daycare?

Tell your wife to stop trying to keep up with the Joneses. This mindset is endemic in NW DC and inner MoCo. It's literally an educational arms race among UMC professional parents to sooth their "guilt." It's ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't think of anything more wasteful. Your wife is making an emotional not rational decision.

This. Save that money for college when it will actually be useful.

x1,000,000.

[Anonymous]

100% go the daycare route.

We lived in DC when we had our first child - he went to a full time daycare for kids aged 0-5. The daycare was in a high school and originally started for students who got pregnant and needed childcare to finish high school, then teachers and folks from the community starting taking their kids there. The caregivers were loving, spoke Spanish about 95% of the time (so he was learning two languages), and followed a weekly/monthly lesson plan. Our DS had zero issues transitioning to a co-op preschool at age 3 and is now excelling in K (in Moco) at age 5. Making sure they are well taken care of and loved is the most important at this time, IMO. You can supplement academically at home in the evenings and on the weekends if you really want to.

[Anonymous]

Is the daycare good enough? That is, loving teachers, a low enough teacher student ratio so that he'll get individual attention, plenty of time outside, free play time inside, and art projects that focus on process not outcome? If so, save your money. There is no real difference between something called a full day preschool and something called daycare with preschool curriculum.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DW and I are looking into what we're going to do for our son when we transition out of a nanny share down the road. If we stretch, we could afford to send him to a well-regarded but expensive full-day private preschool in NWDC. Or we could send him to a great daycare with a prek curriculum for way less $$$. To me, this is a no-brainer - we send him to daycare and save that money for other things. My wife is a bit more emotional about it and feels guilty, as though we wouldn't be doing what is "best" for him. So, from a financial standpoint, what is the return on investment for sending your kid to a fancy private preschool? What are you ACTUALLY getting for that money that you would not be getting with daycare?

Tell your wife to stop trying to keep up with the Joneses. This mindset is endemic in NW DC and inner MoCo. It's literally an educational arms race among UMC professional parents to sooth their "guilt." It's ridiculous.

This.
If you try and kep up forever everyone will be miserable. Make the decisions that work for your family. I would even consider keeping the Nanny share though and then doing preschool in the mornings a few days a week. Best of both worlds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My wife is a bit more emotional about it and feels guilty, as though we wouldn't be doing what is "best" for him. So, from a financial standpoint, what is the return on investment for sending your kid to a fancy private preschool? What are you ACTUALLY getting for that money that you would not be getting with daycare?

A more boutique experience. The $$$ wouldn't be for nothing - there might be better teacher-child ratios, cool traditions or projects, or teachers with a higher level of education. But it doesn't account for everything. There is no one perfect preschool situation. And sometimes the boutique experience does more for the parents than it does for the kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tell your wife to stop trying to keep up with the Joneses. This mindset is endemic in NW DC and inner MoCo. It's literally an educational arms race among UMC professional parents to sooth their "guilt." It's ridiculous.

+2 This mindset slowly destroys families and communities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can't think of anything more wasteful. Your wife is making an emotional not rational decision.

As a parent to older children, one of which I'm sending off to West Point in the Fall, I cannot agree more. My children all went to a (gasp!) Home daycare until they hit public school Kindergarten. My oldest son, despite this adversity, managed college admissions into every single one of his choices and decided on free.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell your wife to stop trying to keep up with the Joneses. This mindset is endemic in NW DC and inner MoCo. It's literally an educational arms race among UMC professional parents to sooth their "guilt." It's ridiculous.

+2 This mindset slowly destroys families and communities.

This is OP, and I agree. I think this mentality is causing her a lot of unnecessary stress when the reality is that we have much more than so many people, and more importantly, we are a happy and loving family. I know she reads this blog and it can really bring her down sometimes. Living in DC is tough and it is a distorted view of reality.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't think of anything more wasteful. Your wife is making an emotional not rational decision.

As a parent to older children, one of which I'm sending off to West Point in the Fall, I cannot agree more. My children all went to a (gasp!) Home daycare until they hit public school Kindergarten. My oldest son, despite this adversity, managed college admissions into every single one of his choices and decided on free.

OP here, and congrats to your future cadet (and to you)!

[Anonymous]

oh lord