Stretching to pay for private preschool

[Anonymous]

If you wife works, and you can host the nanny share some weeks, then a nanny can help a lot with the other small duties that will relieve stress on you as parents, like laundry, cooking, etc. Would recommend it for new parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DW and I are looking into what we're going to do for our son when we transition out of a nanny share down the road. If we stretch, we could afford to send him to a well-regarded but expensive full-day private preschool in NWDC. Or we could send him to a great daycare with a prek curriculum for way less $$$. To me, this is a no-brainer - we send him to daycare and save that money for other things. My wife is a bit more emotional about it and feels guilty, as though we wouldn't be doing what is "best" for him. So, from a financial standpoint, what is the return on investment for sending your kid to a fancy private preschool? What are you ACTUALLY getting for that money that you would not be getting with daycare?

Tell your wife to stop trying to keep up with the Joneses. This mindset is endemic in NW DC and inner MoCo. It's literally an educational arms race among UMC professional parents to sooth their "guilt." It's ridiculous.

What a soulless and superficial way to live your life and if you aren't living with these hang ups to be surrounded by these types of shallow people, just as bad.

[Anonymous]

I miss South Florida, at least there when someone was shallow it was about their boat or car or outfit. The DC area is full of people who attempt to attach a moral value to their rampent cosumerism. And the constant maryterdom of parents who can’t vacation in a nice place or drive beaters or who just complain because of how much they spend on school for junior is pathetic - especially since junior is usually acting somewhat douchey when I’ve seen him/her. It’s not like I’m dying over the social grace or brilliant repartee of kids who attend private schools over here.

[Anonymous]

You mentioned if you stretched you could go the fancy preschool route...have you applied for financial aid at said preschool? I would give it a try, it might make a difference and allow you to send your DC there without breaking the bank

[Anonymous]

If your income is $150k + with 3-4 family members good luck getting any aid in any school.
Also we did private Montessori from age 2 to age 10 and what a huge difference. The first was daycare and public.

[Anonymous]

I guess I'm the only one, but I disagree with all the previous posters. The early years are the most important for learning, and I would go with the best one you could afford. You can save that money when they go to kindergarten...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If your income is $150k + with 3-4 family members good luck getting any aid in any school.
Also we did private Montessori from age 2 to age 10 and what a huge difference. The first was daycare and public.

And a few years later, it makes really no difference: https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.usnews.com/news/national-news/articles/2018-01-02/studies-shed-light-on-merits-of-montessori-education%3fcontext=amp

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I guess I'm the only one, but I disagree with all the previous posters. The early years are the most important for learning, and I would go with the best one you could afford. You can save that money when they go to kindergarten...

+1 Totally agree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I guess I'm the only one, but I disagree with all the previous posters. The early years are the most important for learning, and I would go with the best one you could afford. You can save that money when they go to kindergarten...

Yes, but at this case the best one might be the great daycare. Wife wants well-regarded because, well, it's well-regarded.
Also, don't think the daycares and preschools are all so different in their curriculum. I bet even the teachers move from one school to another.
OP, I'd ask my wife to pick up 2nd job and work pay for the more expensive one. She will be working it instead of spending time with her own kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your income is $150k + with 3-4 family members good luck getting any aid in any school.
Also we did private Montessori from age 2 to age 10 and what a huge difference. The first was daycare and public.

And a few years later, it makes really no difference: https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.usnews.com/news/national-news/articles/2018-01-02/studies-shed-light-on-merits-of-montessori-education%3fcontext=amp

Also, I think there's a difference between paying more for Montessori versus paying more for a private preschool that is pretty much the same as a good daycare. With Montessori, you can articulate what you are paying for that you can't get at the daycare. It might not be everyone's choice, but it makes rational sense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I guess I'm the only one, but I disagree with all the previous posters. The early years are the most important for learning, and I would go with the best one you could afford. You can save that money when they go to kindergarten...

Actually, the research tends to show that preschool has the greatest marginal benefit for kids on the bottom rungs of the SES scale. It has the least marginal utility for MC/UMC kids, who have educated parents who talk to them and read to them and take them to music classes and museums and the like.

Also, cost doesn't perfectly correlate with quality. You might be paying more for newer or fancier facilities, but that means very little to a kid's educational experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I miss South Florida, at least there when someone was shallow it was about their boat or car or outfit. The DC area is full of people who attempt to attach a moral value to their rampant consumerism. And the constant martyrdom of parents who can’t vacation in a nice place or drive beaters or who just complain because of how much they spend on school for junior is pathetic - especially since junior is usually acting somewhat douchey when I’ve seen him/her. It’s not like I’m dying over the social grace or brilliant repartee of kids who attend private schools over here.

I love that turn of phrase!

[Anonymous]

Don't spend a ton of money on a fancy preschool. It's really not worth it. I bet your child is going to do fine going to a regular preschool and getting enrichment from you and your wife.

[Anonymous]

What do you consider stretching?

If we are talking $1000 difference per month on $300k HHI, I would also choose the better school.

If you Still paying off student loans, know you want to upgrade home (better public elementary), plan to have more kids in near future, it would be foolish to stretch to pay for private school tuition.

Make sure daycare is warm, safe and convenient. Doesn’t need to be a brand name preschool.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guess I'm the only one, but I disagree with all the previous posters. The early years are the most important for learning, and I would go with the best one you could afford. You can save that money when they go to kindergarten...

+1 Totally agree.

But you're basically assuming that the pricier a preschool is, the better it is, and I think anyone who's been through preschool knows that's not the case. All the good ones do basically the same things (in a warm, welcoming environment) - practicing social skills, learning letters/phonetics/numbers/colors, plenty of active play, art projects for the parents to hang on the fridge, and naptime... and usually with some bonus instruction in Spanish (or Mandarin or French). You don't have to pay tens of thousands of dollars for that, and doing so is more of a social leg up for mom than an educational one for the kids.

Besides, for UMC kids, they already get a lot of that at home, and where preschool makes the biggest impact is with parents who aren't already trying to teach their three-year-old to read or haven't read to them daily from birth.