Not even divorced but I wish my DH would move out and we could have joint custody
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Anonymous
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of our two kids, alternating each kid between us. In other words, I wish he would take one kid away for the night and then we could switch kids the next night, and so on. In this fantasy, we also have a date night together once a week.
I love being with my kids one on one so much. It's so easy and fun not to have to navigate their bickering, their different preferences, their different schedules, etc. Parents who have just one, you have the right idea, except I cant even (and don't want to) imagine life without my younger. Maybe it's parents who have a super long gap between kids that I'm envious of (but we started way too late for that). Anyway, I'm just fantasizing over here.... |
Anonymous
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I used to fantasize about being divorced when I had a newborn. Then at least a few nights a week I'd get sleep.
Hoping your kids outgrow the fighting sooner rather than later... |
Anonymous
| You can do this - just divide and conquer. Man on man defense. Take one kid with you when you go somewhere, not both. Do not do everything as a pack/herd - it will drive you crazy. Your head is in the right place - this is a good thing to do. |
Anonymous
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I've thought about this.
The best solution would be to live in a larger house, where he can have his own areas to mess up and clean up, make the noise he wants (that man cannot be quiet), yet still be available. |
Anonymous
| Once a month go spend a night in a hotel or at a friend's. Let him do the same. |
Anonymous
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I’ve heard some parent have “custody” of their kids while still being married and living together. Some do it by day, others by week or weekend.
For example, if it’s your weekend, you get up with the kids, feed, take to activities, etc. Spouse can sleep in, schedule time with friends or do hobby or join in on family time. But they don’t shoulder the responsibility for the weekend. Then the next weekend, you switch. The story I read when the child approaches one parent with a question/request they say “it’s not my weekend, go ask other parent”. The kids understood that a different parent was in charge each weekend and were totally fine with it. |
Anonymous
Yep. We've got a four year age gap between our kids, so we've definitely had weekends where one of us does something age appropriate with our older kid while the other stays home with the younger and does things she really likes. If you want a break in your house alone, consider just having one parent go when visiting grandparents. |
Anonymous
| I don't know how old your kids are but I thought mine were going to hate each other until they were 5 and 3 and now they ask each other to play all the time. So things can change. |
Anonymous
I have twins, so zero age gap, and they're both girls, but we still do different things with them sometimes. |
Anonymous
| My boys are 4.5 and 8 and they now play together beautifully and keep each other entertained for hours. I don't know how long this will last but its pretty awesome. Last weekend they woke up and started playing and then the 8 year old got them both some breakfast while we slept in. They even let the dog out. It was a parenting dream come true. Hang in there! |
Anonymous
When would they get to be with each other? |
Anonymous
| 2 boys here, 1 and 4, and we frequently divide and conquer. Most of the time we spend as a whole family is outside. Everyone just seems to get along better outdoors. |
Anonymous
I'd like to have a second kitchen my wife can mess up all she wants. How many times do I have to organize the dang cabinets and then every time I open them I STILL find Sriracha amongst the wine glasses and nine different kid party favors amongst the Advil. |
Anonymous
You’re a man who organizes cabinets? I didn’t know this species existed. |
Anonymous
Yup, they do, I married one, too! But he has other irritating habits, as do I.... |