I think I'm attracted to her but sometimes have little or nothing to say

[Anonymous]

When I'm not with her I thought about all kinds of things I'd like to tell her but sometimes I'm not feeling it, even if I could've talked about topics I had in mind, instead I said nothing and let conversation died and turned onto awkward silence. She's usually very good at keeping the conversation going but can't do much when I don't (want to) engage. I don't like it when I do that and think it's rude but sometimes I'm just just like that. Still think and feel I'm madly attracted to her but is this a bad sign?

[Anonymous]

Just re-read my own post... am I bored of her without knowing? Is it possible to be bored of someone I'm attracted to?

[Anonymous]

Is this unusual for you, or are you sometimes/always like this when starting to date someone or meeting new people? Are you socially anxious or feeling nervous?

I guess I’m not understanding why it’s difficult to hold up your end of the conversation. It’s not necessarily a bad sign about how compatible you are; it could be a sign of your own nerves or anxiety.

[Anonymous]

No snark. Are you very young? It sounds like you’re playing mind games and need to mature.

[Anonymous]

Oh no I wasn't nervous or anxious at all. It's hit or miss. One day we'd have a great convo and laughing and joking but the next day nothing.

[Anonymous]

Not playing any game. Maybe I sounded young because I don't date a lot? But no I'm not young.

[Anonymous]

Is it the sexual tension making your mind go blank?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is it the sexual tension making your mind go blank?

Could be. But my mind doesn't go blank, but unsure whether to engage? Does that make any sense?

[Anonymous]

Sounds like you have a fear of rejection and you are afraid to make small talk that you so badly want to make but then disengage. You want her to be excited about your discussion so you monitor and dissect the things you are going to say in advance which censor what you’d really like to say. In reality, she’d probably swoon over anything you had to tell her. Just go talk to her. About anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you have a fear of rejection and you are afraid to make small talk that you so badly want to make but then disengage. You want her to be excited about your discussion so you monitor and dissect the things you are going to say in advance which censor what you’d really like to say. In reality, she’d probably swoon over anything you had to tell her. Just go talk to her. About anything.

Wow this is spot on. So I guess I am nervous/anxious after all.

[Anonymous]

You know who is boring? YOU. Nothing to say, just vague complaints. The person who complains of boredom, is invariably boring.

[Anonymous]

When you care about someone, sometimes words aren’t necessary- just being in their presence is enough.

[Anonymous]

I suggest sea wolves. It’s an interesting topic sure to spark conversation.

[Anonymous]

Are you holding back over fear that she will find your subject matter dumb?

Are you afraid of being rejected?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I suggest sea wolves. It’s an interesting topic sure to spark conversation.

This is known.