Kids perception of working / sah parents

[Anonymous]

Is any part of your decision to work or to stay home based on how your kids will perceive it? If so, what sex are you children and what’s perception are you worried about them having?

For the record I think both options typically involve a lot of hard work and can be stressful and demanding and that generally hard working people will find great ways to contribute and lazy people will find ways to be lazy regardless of whether them work outside home or stay home with kids.

[Anonymous]

That is your issue, not your kids and you are just looking for drama on here. You do what is best for you family.

[Anonymous]

For me? No. I have a boy and a girl. My decision to work is that we need the second income and it allows me to feel like I am doing more to make the world a better place for others than i would just enjoying my own family life. Also I'm just not good at being home with the kids all the time. Love them dearly but they need more than just what I can give them.

[Anonymous]

I was an ambitious career woman. I had 2 sons. I often had mom guilt. I once told a friend I hoped one day my sons would marry very smart women who would stay home to raise my future grandchildren. I didn’t want a nanny raising my grandchildren. Then I realized I want to stay home with my kids as well. It has been four years and we added another baby. Love the new addition. Enjoying our life.

[Anonymous]

No, we base our decisions on what is best for our family, not what our kids may or may not think of it.

[Anonymous]

Kids will be fine either way. My mom SAH, and I choose to work. The only thing my mom did for us that I can’t do for my kids is give everyone in the neighborhood rides home from sports. My mom now works even though She doesn’t need the money and I gave her the opportunity to watch her grandkids. She now knows that working beats sitting at home with kids.

[Anonymous]

I am a working mom raising two daughters. I struggle daily about wanting to be a role model for them in the workplace (the workplace is great for women! It is not an unknowable, inscrutable, unwelcoming "other," etc.!) and also wanting to have more time to provide a calm, emotionally steady, nurturing home life for them, to enable them to grow up well-adjusted to take on anything in life. Sigh.

[Anonymous]

No. I don’t enjoy kids and would want to kill myself if I stayed home all day. I love working. The kids will be fine.

[Anonymous]

My decision to be a SAHP is not based on my kids’ perception but on a) what works best for our family, and b) what I enjoy doing. Also, both my parents worked outside the home full time when I was growing up and I did not like that. I barely saw my mom some days as she worked long hours. I didn’t want my kids to grow up like I did rarely seeing their parents. Then again, I respect my parents now for how hard they have worked and for their success in their careers. It just wasn’t fun to grow up not seeing them as much as I would have liked.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was an ambitious career woman. I had 2 sons. I often had mom guilt. I once told a friend I hoped one day my sons would marry very smart women who would stay home to raise my future grandchildren. I didn’t want a nanny raising my grandchildren. Then I realized I want to stay home with my kids as well. It has been four years and we added another baby. Love the new addition. Enjoying our life.

You have to be a troll using terms like “career woman” and assuming only the wives (not your sons) could stay home

[Anonymous]

You do realize that at some point you will be dead and 99% of the jobs someone does can be done easily by someone else and in reality have little impact. But, what you do for your kids and family make all the difference in the world for future generations. If you enjoy working, work. If you need the money, then work. If you don't need the money and don't enjoy working or want to be home, stay home. There is no right or wrong. My mom needed to work. She would have made us all miserable staying home. It was important to her to work. I'm the opposite.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a working mom raising two daughters. I struggle daily about wanting to be a role model for them in the workplace (the workplace is great for women! It is not an unknowable, inscrutable, unwelcoming "other," etc.!) and also wanting to have more time to provide a calm, emotionally steady, nurturing home life for them, to enable them to grow up well-adjusted to take on anything in life. Sigh.

I’m raising two sons and struggle with the same. I want them to be good future partners to their spouses as well as men that think equally of women in the workplace, but also don’t want them to have 2 parents with crazy careers and there is no way my dh would be the one to be more family oriented

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a working mom raising two daughters. I struggle daily about wanting to be a role model for them in the workplace (the workplace is great for women! It is not an unknowable, inscrutable, unwelcoming "other," etc.!) and also wanting to have more time to provide a calm, emotionally steady, nurturing home life for them, to enable them to grow up well-adjusted to take on anything in life. Sigh.

I’m raising two sons and struggle with the same. I want them to be good future partners to their spouses as well as men that think equally of women in the workplace, but also don’t want them to have 2 parents with crazy careers and there is no way my dh would be the one to be more family oriented

Thank you for sharing. Virtual fist bump. .

[Anonymous]

My kids and DH like me to be home because I am more clued in and strategic about the kids education/learning etc. I also tutor my kids for most subjects and they do exceedingly well. I have never taught in a professional capacity but evidently I have a knack for teaching. I frequently tutor other children for free at my home. My DH is out of the house at 7 am and comes back home at 8 pm. While it is not as hectic as many people's career in DMV, it is not conducive to being there for the children.

My kids want me to teach eventually but only after they have launched, because they do not want "other kids to get an edge because I am teaching them." I take that to mean that they think highly of me.

In a few years they will be out of the house. After they leave, I would really like to pick a few bright students who are on FARMS and tutor and prep them for free so that they become super-competitive and get them into top colleges. I would love to run a bootcamp at home and just change the career and life of a few of such kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. I don’t enjoy kids and would want to kill myself if I stayed home all day. I love working. The kids will be fine.

I am glad you are self-aware and have decided to keep on working. Good for you as well as for your family.