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feeling lonely
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Anonymous
| Is anyone else feeling a little lonely? I have my lovely baby, dh, family, and friends but I'm just a little down. Could it be my hormones coming down? I love being a mom but feel isolated sometimes. Yesterday at the park it was only nannies. |
Anonymous
My heart was breaking for you until I read the last sentence - it is ok to make friends with nannies! |
Anonymous
| I am VERY lonely. DH works all the time, my family is in Chicago and none of my friends have kids (or even like them for that matter). I am dying at 5pm, counting the minutes for DH to get home which is usually another few hours. I try to get out with baby but it's tough when it is cold and there is not too much to do but shop (which we cannot do everyday). I'd love to have a few close couple friends or female friends my age who also have kids to hang out with. |
Anonymous
| OP here - not saying anything bad about nannies. Just looking for other moms who live close by and share more similar life experiences. BTw, most of them looked really bored. |
Anonymous
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I'm with you! I am 6 months pregnant, new to the city, and do not have any close friends here. I'm currently taking a prenatal yoga which I'm hoping will help with my lack of a social life ; ) Have you thought of joining play groups with your baby? Or taking classes- I know there are baby and me yoga classes at Circle yoga in Chevy Chase and music classes offered in the area (not sure exactly where, but I've seen them mentioned on this site). |
Anonymous
| I HIGHLY recommend joining a new moms group through PACE (www.pacemoms.org) My friends have all had wonderful experiences with it, and I just started this week. It's a great way to get out of the house, socialize, and meet other moms -- they're constantly organizing new local groups in VA, DC and MD. |
Anonymous
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I think even as someone who's lived here 10+ years, I was definitely lonely as a new mom. My friends are all scattered around the area, some of them 30-45 min away by car, and not all of them had time to meet with me when I was home. They're also all in different stages of their lives and weren't necessarily dealing with children or even the stage that my children were.
I think as a SAHM, you have to create a schedule for yourself that involves you talking to other adults regularly. That can be baby classes, standard days you go to crowded parks, library time, whatever, and definitely moms groups. Also, try to schedule time with friends even for a few hours. I found my mood was much better on days when I talked to someone, even for an hour, than on the other days. It's a very normal feeling. We are a very isolated society in some ways now, especially in the Burbs. Read "Bowling Alone" as an example of a trend that has really taken hold in America. I don't think it means you are ungrateful for your daughter or husband or family, just lonely. It's ok! 
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Anonymous
| Wish I'd known about PACE but my DD is now 6.5 mos and the site says the group's for newborn to 6 months. |
Anonymous
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There are lots of formal and informal moms' group in the DC area - see post "moms group".
Also, are you affilated with a church? Most have moms' groups. What about your pediatrician's office - some have new moms' groups too? If that is not you cup of tea perhaps you can find an "easy" volunteer project like Meals on Wheels. You can drive around with your baby, meet other people, and old people are always so tickled to see babies. Those two items were my outlet. I was so sad and moped around. I thought it was the hormones, but after a few months I knew it wasn't. I love my DH and my baby, but I needed a little something for me - some interaction. |
Anonymous
this is a good suggestion. i liked my pace group but mine was mostly jewish women and mostly moms that worked - all lawyers. while i liked them, we didn't have much in common after a while as i am a sahm and not jewish. |
Anonymous
| Okay what is the deal with the "jewish" moms comment. I am not Jewish but offended for my Jewish friends because that is an awful thing to say. Who cares what religion someone is?????? You don't have to convert to a certain religion to be friends with someone. |
Anonymous
| i am a sahm Jewish mom-you have nothing in common with me bc I am Jewish? Perhaps if you opened up your mind a bit you wouldn't be so lonely. |
Anonymous
| Why does it always have to get ugly on this site? So what if you are not Jewish, your kids don't dump out toys as soon as you put them away, fall asleep in the car and not transfer into the crib without waking up, make you the happiest you ever have been, make you want to pull your hair out by 6pm, amaze you everyday as they learn more, make you love your husband more? Common, this is DC! If you don't like diversity, perhaps this is not the place for you. My PACE group was truly a mix of everything and we were all so bewildered, we struggled along together and still have a great time together! |
Anonymous
ouch. i am the pp that wrote about her group being all jewish. i like jewish women but find that they are often clicky and tend you make non jewish women feel out of place. i didn't say i didn't like jewish women i just meant that i didn't feel like part of the group. btw i am not lonely...i was just merely responding to the post trying to be helpful. individually i don't find this to be the case with jewish women, meaning one on one but when they get together as a group they seem to only talk about jewish things and use lots of yiddish terms. |
Anonymous
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that is a ridiculous generalization. that is like saying all jewish women are the same. you really shouldn't generalize about certain races or religions. that's how stereotypes and negative feelings get started.
and yiddush terms???? please - most people don't even know yiddush today. |