When to give wedding gift to child and new spouse?

[Anonymous]

This is probably a silly question and I'm sure I'm overthinking - but please help.

When your child gets married and you want to gift the new couple a sizable monetary gift (well...maybe not to DCUM lol)...when exactly does the transaction take place?

I feel like the wedding will be busy busy busy and awkward - I don't need the entire wedding to witness or anything.

Do I pull them aside on rehearsal dinner night? Do I do it after the ceremony or reception? I've never been in this situation or witnessed it so I'm not sure the best - and easiest approach that won't take away from their day.

[Anonymous]

You could give it anytime - today or next month or on the day or rehearsal, whatever you want.

Maybe it would be nice to have them for a quiet meal shortly before the big day and give it then.

[Anonymous]

Your child? 6-12 months before the wedding.

Dh's parents didn't give us our wedding gift until a month after the wedding. They had said they'd pay for the alcohol, but we weren't sure. We had to put everything on credit cards and we were stretched so thin. It would have been nice to have that money when we had to pay the venue (30 days before the wedding). My parents gave us a lump sum when we got engaged and told us to use it to plan, no strings attached. It was incredibly helpful.

[Anonymous]

Is it to pay for the wedding? My mom gave me a certain dollar amount for the wedding specifically. And then after we were married, she gifted us cash. It was from her inheritance from my grandmother and she'd ear marked a portion for each of us for after we got married. To get around gift tax she wrote one check to me and one to DH. I think she did it a few months later, but it was really framed as a wedding gift. I think she just didn't want us to blow it all on a wedding and to stay within the budget we already had. Which we would have done anyway. We put it in our "down payment" savings account.

[Anonymous]

OP - it's not to pay for the wedding.

Wedding was paid by couple and bride's family. Rehearsal dinner paid by groom's family.

Wedding is pretty much paid for.

This would serve as wedding gift to couple - to either pay for honeymoon or save or pay down whatever they want.

[Anonymous]

Then have the parents take their son aside and give him a check in person nearing the end of the night. If you don't find a good time, do it at brunch the next day. After rehearsal dinner is also a good time.

[Anonymous]

If it is to help pay for the wedding/honeymoon, give it when they are planning.
If it is not, give it when they return after their honeymoon. Take them out to dinner if possible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - it's not to pay for the wedding.

Wedding was paid by couple and bride's family. Rehearsal dinner paid by groom's family.

Wedding is pretty much paid for.

This would serve as wedding gift to couple - to either pay for honeymoon or save or pay down whatever they want.

I'd just tell your son that you intend to give them a monetary gift and about how much is it. Beware of gift taxes. Then, follow through. I don't think there needs to be any big show about it. If you've raised him right, he will express heartfelt thanks and so will his bride. If not, well, no advice there.

[Anonymous]

A few days before the wedding. This way, you will have a special quiet moment to give your best wishes (and hugs) to the happy couple.

[Anonymous]

Most wedding gifts arrive before the wedding so I’d give it to them before.

What’s an appropriate wedding gift for a kid? We are spending over $70k on the wedding (their choice) so I wasn’t planning to do a significant gift.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most wedding gifts arrive before the wedding so I’d give it to them before.

What’s an appropriate wedding gift for a kid? We are spending over $70k on the wedding (their choice) so I wasn’t planning to do a significant gift.

hope they don't divorce.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most wedding gifts arrive before the wedding so I’d give it to them before.

What’s an appropriate wedding gift for a kid? We are spending over $70k on the wedding (their choice) so I wasn’t planning to do a significant gift.

Christ.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Then have the parents take their son aside and give him a check in person nearing the end of the night. If you don't find a good time, do it at brunch the next day. After rehearsal dinner is also a good time.

Don't take the child aside, if this is your wedding gift then give it to both of them together. I wouldn't give it at the wedding, a cheque could be lost.

As you have said the wedding is already paid for, I would wait until they return from the honeymoon and take them out to dinner and give them the cheque then. That way you can have a good chat about the day and hear all about their honeymoon and then give this gift to the both of them together.

If there is a delay between the wedding and the honeymoon then you could get together for lunch or coffee and give it to them then.

[Anonymous]

Earlier in the wedding planning process with no strings attached. Take them out for dinner and give it to them as a couple. They are about to be one economic unit and each other's closest family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Earlier in the wedding planning process with no strings attached. Take them out for dinner and give it to them as a couple. They are about to be one economic unit and each other's closest family.

This. If it might make a difference to their honeymoon planning, do it as early as possible. How much are you giving them?