husband into "alternative" names for our boy

[Anonymous]

I'm by no means super traditional, but my husband (who has a very ordinary first name) really wants something 'distinctive' for our son.
examples include hyllo, (or maybe it was Philo?), Zephyr, Pericles (perry for short) and a host of very Italian names (Giulio, Silvano, etc) --- neither of us is Italian, fwiw. Seems our only compromise is to "italianicize" a name I like: I liked Alexander, he wants Alessandro. I liked Julian, he wants Guilio, etc.

I fear that he is going to be imposing a 'difficult' name on a kid. I want something beautiful and notordinary, but also not strange enough that it elicits comments/questions/teasing.

I've come up with a list of at least 50 names--distinctive, certainly not ordinary or in the top 50 or even 100 boys names-that I'd like, and it seems out of those, he's okay with one. So, I guess that means we have one possibility, but I'm finding this process really difficult. We're trying to be nice about each other's choices (at least, not laugh directly in each other's faces) but my friends (and his, too) don't get it. anyone else have this problem where they have quite different attitudes towards naming a child?

[Anonymous]

If you can find a name you both agree on, write it down and keep a short list of agreed on names. That is really the only way to do this. He won't like your traditional ones and you won't like his unique ones. You'll have to find something in the middle.

How about some ones that he might THINK are unique but really aren't these days? Like Phinneas (there are a billion Finn's out there) or Joaquin?

[Anonymous]

Have him read "Freakonomics." Alternative names are a sign of lower socioeconomic class.

[Anonymous]

Ha ha ha . . . my husband and I make more than $200K a year and we have an "alternative" name for our son. I guess that makes us low class.

[Anonymous]

How about Maximilian? You can call him Max.

[Anonymous]

OP here.

I think our extremely short list is the only way to go. And maybe if he runs these name by his friends (rather than me) that response will sway him more. He's read Freakonomics, but thinks it doesnt apply to his choices.

Max is out. Phinneas is out (I actually suggested it). As is Sebastien, Felix, Soren, Linden, Lowell, Rylan, Cameron, Quinn, Rowan, Asa, Emmett, Duncan, Elias, Judah, Milo, and.....well, you get the idea. i"ve tried!!!! On the bright side, if anyone needs a long list of semi-alternative names, I'm happy to send you the compilation .

[Anonymous]

How about Antonio? You could call him Tonio for short. It is very cute and unique, but not so out there. It is an Italian name. Maybe he'll go for it?

[Anonymous]

My husband and I had a difficult time narrowing down our lists. This is what we did to get to our final selection:

1. We each come up with some "rules" - for example, no one in our extended family could have the same 1st name (and we defined extended family)

2. Name could not be in the top 25 per the SS list for popular names in DC / Virginia or Maryland

You get the idea - it seems that your husband's names would be fine given the criteria we had, but do what works for you. If you want a name that does not end in a Vowel - make it a rule.

Next we each had to create our short list of 10 names. These are names that we really loved. We had this list for about 2 weeks before we did anything else. The list was public on the computer monitor - so we saw it every day.

After about 2 weeks we revisited our own list and crossed off names that we decided were no longer options. We each eliminated 2 names this way. Next we combined the list and force ranked them together. So I would ask my husband - what do you like better? Alessandro or Guilio? He selects one. Repeat this.

If you can't move from his / yours I would recommend working with a therapist

[Anonymous]

Can you reach a compromise where the child's formal name is Alessandro or Pericles or Zephyr (whatever) but he is called Alex or Perry or Zeph (or similar plain nickname)every day?

[Anonymous]

Oh my gosh I am so sorry. I am all about unique names but it seems a bit bizarre to have a really italian name for a non italian child. I had a friend that is asian and named her baby francesco, would be adorable if they called him frankie but to this day at 2 he is still francesco and def gets odd looks.
Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Wow OP, usually it's the moms who want the unheard-of/exotic names. My SIL was insistent on using Irish names that 99.9% of Americans have no idea how to pronounce (Aiobhhan I think was her top choice). I have my thoughts on why people do this, but that's beside the point. What if you let DH pick whatever he wants for the middle name and you both could compromise on something a little more normal for the first name?

[Anonymous]

I have a nephew named Zephyr (16 months old) - it took us all of a week to go from ... hmm, that's unusual, to thinking it's totally cute and fits him perfectly. His parents both work in the movie industry, so I wouldn't be surprised if some big Hollywood star decides to use this name in the next couple of years and takes it to the top of the popularity list

[Anonymous]

If Zephyr goes to the top of the popularity list I will change my child's name. He's a Zephyr. Ok I probably wouldn't REALLY change it, but I'd be livid.

[Anonymous]

yes yes! OP please share your full names list!

[Anonymous]

Just out of curiousity, does your DH have a reason for wanting this type of unusual name?

I'd love to see the full list. And although my DS's name is more conventional than the ones on OP's list above, I really like many of those names. Actually, the only one I don't like is Asa, which always sounded like a girl's name to me.