Meals when a guest

[Anonymous]

I’m concerned for my son and his family, they seem very stretched time-wise.

We flew in a couple weeks ago and landed late on a weekday at 4pm We had a small dinner at their house that their nanny made, but everyone was hungry afterwards, including their kids! Their kids, 4 and 6, ate some additional frozen food cooked up. They have strict rules against snacking before dinner or not eating all your dinner foods. We love to snack while on vacation!

Then in the mornings they scuttle off to work and one kid goes to preschool and the other to elementary. They were fed and had lunchboxes but we weren’t told nor given much for breakfast or lunch at their house. In fact my son told us to have the nanny take us grocery shopping when she comes!

The nanny comes in the afternoon to do pickups and cook dinner for the kids by 5pm and everyone else eats again later when the parents get home at 6. I don’t know if we need to help more or give advice on meals— or to whom, the nanny, my son or his wife!?

[Anonymous]

It sounds like you are being a burden. Why are you visiting when they are working? Stay in a hotel and eat your meals at a restaurant while they are at work.

You could also uber to the store and cook a big meal for everyone.

[Anonymous]

you sound like a meddling MIL who is working her way up to criticizing her DIL for not being more of a homemaker, when she is clearly a working mother. If you really want to help, pay the nanny bill for a couple of months and don't make yourself a guest when they are working! You call this your "vacation"?! Why are you visiting them when the kids are attending school and your son and his wife are working?! Your concerns are misplaced.

[Anonymous]

the fact that you expect your son and "his wife" to treat you as if you're staying in a bed and breakfast when they are just trying to live their crazy busy lives is very telling of YOU. If you really want to help, spend a day of your "vacation" (?!) cooking a ton of stuff for them. But when you do, don't say crap like "I noticed you don't have much in the way of homemade meals"...you really should not have come.

[Anonymous]

So your subject is titled "Meals when a guest" but your post seems more about concern about your son's meal rules and meal organization, etc.

Is your issue that there isn't enough hospitality for you? What was discussed about this visit? Were you invited or did you kind of invite yourself?

If you are hungry and looking for snacks, I would definitely do a grocery run. You can order food on Amazon Prime and you clearly have computer access, so do that. Your groceries will be appreciated by the family and nanny as a contribution to the household.

If your main beef is about your son's and DIL's meal planning, please say nothing. Offer opinions only when solicited. I promise you from experience if you meddle here it will be viewed as hurtful.

[Anonymous]

Omg my MIL does this during visits. To her it’s vacation and she wants to sit around with a glass of wine and snacks and be fed gourmet meals while we rush around taking care of our young kids and prepare for the next workday and keep up with work emails. Offer to cook something or order a pizza! Go make yourself a sandwich! They’re not on vacation, and you’re adding to their load.

[Anonymous]

Are you concerned that your grandchildren aren't getting enough food, especially nutritious food? Then go out to the store, cook something and have it ready for the kids to eat for dinner tonight.

[Anonymous]

Your original post says you flew in a couple weeks ago. PLEASE tell me you aren't still staying with them. If so, you need to go home. You have overstayed.

[Anonymous]

When my mom goes to visit my brother she goes to the grocery store as soon as she arrives. Why? Because he and his wife work and are BUSY. They are wonderful about welcoming guests whenever, but they do not do a whole lot of extras. If you want something, get yourself to the store to buy it. Help yourself to anything they have, but if you don't see it, go get it yourself.

So next time, rent a car and stop at the grocery for a few things on your first day there. Then offer to cook dinner several nights you are there. Next, leave the nanny alone.

[Anonymous]

When we have family guests and I am working, I feel responsible for feeding them a decent dinner. I have breakfast, lunch and snack items on hand that they can feed themselves. They are also more than welcome to go to the grocery store to get any preferred items. It's nice if they cook a meal but I certainly don't expect it UNLESS the visit is billed as a "helping" visit, where they are there specifically to help out vs be a guest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When we have family guests and I am working, I feel responsible for feeding them a decent dinner. I have breakfast, lunch and snack items on hand that they can feed themselves. They are also more than welcome to go to the grocery store to get any preferred items. It's nice if they cook a meal but I certainly don't expect it UNLESS the visit is billed as a "helping" visit, where they are there specifically to help out vs be a guest.

And how often have you had family guests stay with you for 2+ weeks when you aren't on vacation/off from work yourself?

[Anonymous]

What was your plan for this vacation? I am like your son. We don't snack and there's no snack food in the house. I do cook big meals when guests are there, but I expect guests to be going around doing touristy things during the day. I wouldn't feel comfortable with guests just sitting around my house when no one is home.

When my parents show up, if we haven't taken off work (we usually have several days planned that we take off), they keep the kids home from daycare and they take the kids to the zoo or other fun places. They grocery shop (we don't eat the same foods) and bake cookies with the kids. I've tried buying foods they like, but they prefer to get their own. They go through a case of Diet Coke every other day, so it's best if they just stock up with what they want.

[Anonymous]

Any reason you can't offer to cook for the family while you're visiting?

[Anonymous]

lol this has to be a troll

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your original post says you flew in a couple weeks ago. PLEASE tell me you aren't still staying with them. If so, you need to go home. You have overstayed.

WOW! I missed that. A couple of weeks? What do you do all day? Do you just sit around their house? Their poor nanny. Please go home. You have overstayed your welcome by many weeks already.