Meals when a guest

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you're from another country how do you know about DCUM? Still think OP's a troll.

EXACTLY. This feels like a DIL posting pretending to be her MIL, based in MILs complaints. It's oddly and almost carefully word, but with awkward cracks in the story.

[Anonymous]

That poor nanny.

[Anonymous]

OMG, leave. You are being a burden. You have wayyyy overstayed your welcome.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This has to be a troll. Visiting for WEEKS, no rental car. Ability to find and navigate DCUM but not order delivery or instacart?? When my parents or in laws visit they help a ton, including shopping and cooking. No way anyone is that clueless.

I don’t know, my ILs routinely come for 2+ weeks, refuse to rent a car despite the fact that our car cannot fit 4 adults and 2 kids, it only has 5 seats, they insist they want us to buy nothing special, then get here and are all put out that we don’t have Cheetos, cottage cheese, Splenda, Kashi, whatever it is they have decided they are eating this trip, they call it vacationing at our house, and the first thing they ask when I walk in the door from work is what is for dinner. They are honest to god real clueless people who expect to be waited on hand and foot while they are here, offer no help, make tons of work, and somehow run our electric, gas, and water bills up to triple the amount they usually are. I have no idea how 2 people use that much extra water, the electricity I get, I swear I spend the entire weekend following them around after they leave rooms turning off lights as they leave every light blazing, so I’m sure that’s what they do on the weekdays when we aren’t here. They also sneak out and turn the thermostat way up after we’ve gone to bed, we wake up sweating and see it’s 78 in the house!

[Anonymous]

wtf. sorry to hear that PP. man.

Is your husband at least embarrassed? (if not actively doing something about their cluelessness and self-centered habits)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:wtf. sorry to hear that PP. man.

Is your husband at least embarrassed? (if not actively doing something about their cluelessness and self-centered habits)

Yes, and he does not object when I leave halfway through the visit or schedule work travel that “has” to happen in that 3 weeks, have work late or happy hour, see friends, etc. But it took time for him to acknowledge it was a problem, which didn’t really happen until we had a kid and they asked me to make them lunch when I was a couple weeks post partum with a reflux baby who never slept, wasn’t gaining weight, etc.

[Anonymous]

I guess few men know how to communicate with their parents anymore in an adult to adult level. They’d rather say nothing and let their family and wallet get stomped on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are coming from another country so yes it is for a few weeks. We don’t care to drive around here so we do busses and subways. I guess we just feel differently about who should pay for and provide food when hosting. We are not from around here, we just want to play with the grandkids. The nanny is lovely.

If you are there a few weeks, its a huge burden on your kids. You need to step up and take a cab or uber to the store, buy food and then cook. You should not wait around to be served 3 meals plus snacks a day. If anything, give the nanny the day off paid as there is no need for the nanny to be there every day if you are there.

+1 How nice for OP that she wants to play with her grandkids without contributing anything. How about she take a bus or subway with her DH and get a few bags of groceries if she's not willing to extend herself more than that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I guess few men know how to communicate with their parents anymore in an adult to adult level. They’d rather say nothing and let their family and wallet get stomped on.

This is very true. Plus parents don't communicate well with their sons.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:wtf. sorry to hear that PP. man.

Is your husband at least embarrassed? (if not actively doing something about their cluelessness and self-centered habits)

Yes, and he does not object when I leave halfway through the visit or schedule work travel that “has” to happen in that 3 weeks, have work late or happy hour, see friends, etc. But it took time for him to acknowledge it was a problem, which didn’t really happen until we had a kid and they asked me to make them lunch when I was a couple weeks post partum with a reflux baby who never slept, wasn’t gaining weight, etc.

You have my admiration, PP. I’d be divorced over that (and, no, it does not objectively merit it).

[Anonymous]

Please tell me this is a joke. Please tell me this is a joke.

I'm 29. My Dad STILL slips me $20-50 when I cook a big family dinner for groceries or when I make the 8+ hour trip to visit him and he still gives me gas money. He picks up creamer, bagels, peanut butter for himself when he stays at our house and manages to figure himself out.

My husband and I make decent money. My Dad is just being a good Dad and houseguest. I am really lucky to have him.

OP, you NEED to be contributing if you're staying there for weeks. That is ridiculous. Cook a meal, please for the love of god. Your adult children are not your personal servants and you are not on vacation, you are visiting family and please act like a member of the household by picking up some slack.

[Anonymous]

Our side from the MidEast and Southeast Asia never offer to pick up a tab or buy groceries when they houseguest. And asking them to split a big meal out i.e. they ordered apps, entree, dessert - is like a series of 10 riddles.

It may be cultural for them, or cluelessness, or selfishness, or all of the above!, but I'll be damned if that's how we treat our adult kids. So tacky, so cheap.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are coming from another country so yes it is for a few weeks. We don’t care to drive around here so we do busses and subways. I guess we just feel differently about who should pay for and provide food when hosting. We are not from around here, we just want to play with the grandkids. The nanny is lovely.

This is the first world OP. Parents don’t deserve respect and consideration. I love my third world country where these small values still exist. I regret raising kids here. If this a sample of what average parents need to expect. Shame on you people. These are your parents. Treat them well in their old age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are coming from another country so yes it is for a few weeks. We don’t care to drive around here so we do busses and subways. I guess we just feel differently about who should pay for and provide food when hosting. We are not from around here, we just want to play with the grandkids. The nanny is lovely.

This is the first world OP. Parents don’t deserve respect and consideration. I love my third world country where these small values still exist. I regret raising kids here. If this a sample of what average parents need to expect. Shame on you people. These are your parents. Treat them well in their old age.

Be their servant? In that world OP would have been a stay at home mom with zero income. Remember the bit where she has to go to work to help support the family?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are coming from another country so yes it is for a few weeks. We don’t care to drive around here so we do busses and subways. I guess we just feel differently about who should pay for and provide food when hosting. We are not from around here, we just want to play with the grandkids. The nanny is lovely.

This is the first world OP. Parents don’t deserve respect and consideration. I love my third world country where these small values still exist. I regret raising kids here. If this a sample of what average parents need to expect. Shame on you people. These are your parents. Treat them well in their old age.

Be their servant? In that world OP would have been a stay at home mom with zero income. Remember the bit where she has to go to work to help support the family?

Oh, so SAHMs should be treated like servants by their extended families for weeks on end? Uh, no.