Preschool, how important and how do people do this?

[Anonymous]

I have a 3.5 DD and a 1.5 DS and am planning on #3 this year. DD is going to turn 4 in September. Right now we have a nanny that we spend every spare dollar to employ. We love her and have what I think is close to a perfect situation as I work from home full time so am able to interact with the kids a fair amount through the day. Even on very busy days I am present and can give them a kiss before nap and hug them when I get lunch etc.

I feel like DD needs to go to preschool next year? Or society is convincing me that that needs to happen? But like, I am struggling to see how we make it work financially. It would add hundreds of dollars a month. I would have to stop contributing to retirement (which I know I'm lucky that that's all it would take) to pay for her to go to preschool. We would be paying like 40k a year for childcare. Probably more.

I just am worried, if we keep her home is Kindergarten a very difficult transition? Will she be behind? How on earth do people pay for full time childcare for multiple children AND pay for preschool? I'm really stressed out about this. DH already reduced retirement to basically 0 contributions to pay for nanny.

[Anonymous]

They don't. Keep the nanny. Talk to her about doing some pre-school activities with the oldest.
Or you could not have #3 and send both kids to full time preschool/daycare when the younger is 2.

[Anonymous]

It is not needed. Make sure she is read to at least 15 minutes a day. Talk with her, not to her. Give her free play to explore blocks, music, puzzles, dramatic play etc. Provide paper and art supplies to explore. Introduce letters, numbers, colours etc. It can be done at home between parent and nanny cooperation.

[Anonymous]

Do they have public pre-K where you are?

If not, are there are lower costs options like through a church or a preschool coop program? They can be short, like just a few hours, but that's fine. Longer programs are for those who use it in part for childcare, which you have.

[Anonymous]

You want her to know her letters and be able to write her name before going to kindergarten. I do think the transition will be hard if she's not use to the pace of the school day, but I'm sure it's not the end of the world.

But I will say, unaffordable child care is one reason we are not having a 3rd. In your case, you could wait a year until your oldest is in kindergarten before having the 3rd.

Otherwise, yes, you have to make a choice.

[Anonymous]

We're at an inhome daycare and aren't able to pay for preschool either. Instead we're working extra hard with her- lots of reading, museums on the weekend, fun puzzles and coloring activity books. I've read that being read to is the #1 indicator of success in Kindergarten.

All of this is strange to me because I had free PreK in my home state when I was 4, 30 years ago. Instead they just have an advanced Kindergarten now, no naps and little free play.

[Anonymous]

A good home daycare or quality large center is already doing most of the things they do in preschool. If you have a nanny, they can do most of the prep work for kindergarten. It is absolutely possible to lay a solid foundation for a child without preschool.

[Anonymous]

I have to disagree with most of the other posters.

I agree that the nanny can teach all of the academics that would be covered in preschool but your DD would be missing the critical social and classroom time that is necessary before starting K. Learning how to sit through circle time, line up to go outside, listen to a variety of adults, share toys and materials with classmates, etc etc. I was a K teacher for 10 years and parents really underestimate the social prep kids need. I can teach reading and math to any kid that’s behind but for kids that don’t know the structure of a classroom it’s very obvious and they often struggle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have to disagree with most of the other posters.

I agree that the nanny can teach all of the academics that would be covered in preschool but your DD would be missing the critical social and classroom time that is necessary before starting K. Learning how to sit through circle time, line up to go outside, listen to a variety of adults, share toys and materials with classmates, etc etc. I was a K teacher for 10 years and parents really underestimate the social prep kids need. I can teach reading and math to any kid that’s behind but for kids that don’t know the structure of a classroom it’s very obvious and they often struggle.

Genuine question. They will have the same struggle whenever they start though right? It would be an adjustment its just whether that happens at age 4 or age 5? I assume the kids are basically ok by first grade.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You want her to know her letters and be able to write her name before going to kindergarten. I do think the transition will be hard if she's not use to the pace of the school day, but I'm sure it's not the end of the world.

But I will say, unaffordable child care is one reason we are not having a 3rd. In your case, you could wait a year until your oldest is in kindergarten before having the 3rd.

Otherwise, yes, you have to make a choice.

I mean that wouldn't really actually help though because its really 1.5 year old DS that will be incurring costs while she's in preschool. I just mentioned #3 because this will basically repeat itself in a couple of years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have to disagree with most of the other posters.

I agree that the nanny can teach all of the academics that would be covered in preschool but your DD would be missing the critical social and classroom time that is necessary before starting K. Learning how to sit through circle time, line up to go outside, listen to a variety of adults, share toys and materials with classmates, etc etc. I was a K teacher for 10 years and parents really underestimate the social prep kids need. I can teach reading and math to any kid that’s behind but for kids that don’t know the structure of a classroom it’s very obvious and they often struggle.

Genuine question. They will have the same struggle whenever they start though right? It would be an adjustment its just whether that happens at age 4 or age 5? I assume the kids are basically ok by first grade.

But wouldn’t you want them to learn this in a 3 hour morning preschool versus all day K.

Also, for those whose kids go to daycare I wouldn’t worry about not doing “preschool”. Most daycares are doing the same thing as the so called preschools for 3-4 year olds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have to disagree with most of the other posters.

I agree that the nanny can teach all of the academics that would be covered in preschool but your DD would be missing the critical social and classroom time that is necessary before starting K. Learning how to sit through circle time, line up to go outside, listen to a variety of adults, share toys and materials with classmates, etc etc. I was a K teacher for 10 years and parents really underestimate the social prep kids need. I can teach reading and math to any kid that’s behind but for kids that don’t know the structure of a classroom it’s very obvious and they often struggle.

I agree with this. I wanted DCs to learn how to pay attention to an authority figure that wasn't the nanny or related. We did a church based preschool, 2-3 days a week. It was around $200 a month for 10 months. There are affordable options out there and you may even be able to cobble together enough regular free programs, like at libraries, to get the same effect. But I think it would be hard to be on of the few kids who haven't been to preschool when all their classmates in K know exactly what to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have to disagree with most of the other posters.

I agree that the nanny can teach all of the academics that would be covered in preschool but your DD would be missing the critical social and classroom time that is necessary before starting K. Learning how to sit through circle time, line up to go outside, listen to a variety of adults, share toys and materials with classmates, etc etc. I was a K teacher for 10 years and parents really underestimate the social prep kids need. I can teach reading and math to any kid that’s behind but for kids that don’t know the structure of a classroom it’s very obvious and they often struggle.

Genuine question. They will have the same struggle whenever they start though right? It would be an adjustment its just whether that happens at age 4 or age 5? I assume the kids are basically ok by first grade.

But wouldn’t you want them to learn this in a 3 hour morning preschool versus all day K.

Also, for those whose kids go to daycare I wouldn’t worry about not doing “preschool”. Most daycares are doing the same thing as the so called preschools for 3-4 year olds.

I mean ideally yes but I guess my question is is sparing her a difficult first two month of kindergarten worth stretching our family very thin?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have to disagree with most of the other posters.

I agree that the nanny can teach all of the academics that would be covered in preschool but your DD would be missing the critical social and classroom time that is necessary before starting K. Learning how to sit through circle time, line up to go outside, listen to a variety of adults, share toys and materials with classmates, etc etc. I was a K teacher for 10 years and parents really underestimate the social prep kids need. I can teach reading and math to any kid that’s behind but for kids that don’t know the structure of a classroom it’s very obvious and they often struggle.

Genuine question. They will have the same struggle whenever they start though right? It would be an adjustment its just whether that happens at age 4 or age 5? I assume the kids are basically ok by first grade.

dp. but right or not, K teachers expect that most kids will have gone through preschool and so there is less attention paid to teaching those sorts of things. They will say line up and there will be less time to make the transition and less tolerance for the kid who is lollygagging and not going with the group. If she is still working on following directions and making transitions, she will not be able to get some of the academic work going on, and there is academic work being done in K. Which sets her up to fall behind for 1st... Also kids struggling may start to hate school.

Sure, it could work out fine, but if you are looking to set up your DC for success, some preschool is a good idea.

[Anonymous]

For the introduction to classroom piece, it's not the same as daily preschool, but the nanny could be taking her to a library storytime that does not include parents. She gets some of the sit, listen, line up practice through that. Not all libraries have these but when I worked as a children's librarian, we had parent+child storytime for toddlers -3s and then child-alone for 4s.

Also, see if your school district offers a summer school pre-k class. APS offers this for 1 month the summer before starting kindergarten, it's specifically for children who have not gone to preschool and it's only $100.