I just don't know what to do anymore....

[Anonymous]

It's funny how failures make you think that it's not possible, when I know that statistically there is still a chance (there's always a chance!) which produces hope but also insanity.

We did an IUI with follistim and menopur. Failed. Then just did an IVF and retrieved 1, transferred on day 2. Failed.

On the one hand I know I still have age on my side (35) but on the other hand I wonder if there's even a point to even keep trying. My AFC is in the 3-4 range. Secondary infertility.

What to do next? Go to a different RE? (current one doesn't seem to think there's much more to do). Quit while I'm ahead?

[Anonymous]

If I were you- I would try a new RE. Sometimes it helps to get a new perspective and a fresh outlook.

[Anonymous]

Definitely try a new RE. You are only 35 and have had a successful pregnancy. All of that is very much on your side.

[Anonymous]

New RE at a new clinic, as soon as you are ready to do so. If your financial/insurance situation allows it, consider having consults with more than 1 and picking the one you're most comfortable/confident with. We received what turned out to be really bad advice from our first RE last year at this time. We followed the advice for 3 months because she was the RE we were established with, I honestly wasn't quite sure what else to do, and was overwhelmed by the thought of going somewhere else to "start over" because what if it turned out to be worse than our experience at the first place. It took a huge toll on my mental health.
Then one of my oldest friends, who has dealt with plenty of her own health problems but not infertility, said to me, "You aren't starting over from scratch. You have pages and pages of records from the first doctor to guide a new doctor's approach." For me that was the first step in the right direction in turning my thinking and outlook around. It gave me the confidence to book appointments at 2 other clinics quickly, and I was specifically able to see REs I had read an extensive number of reviews on (mostly comments here on DCUM). One was a good fit; the other was not. We promptly began moving forward with the good fit and everything fell into place. The way my second clinic did things made for a much more logical and comfortable environment for me, which meant I felt better taken care of and more confident as the process proceeded.
Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Absolutely find a new RE if, after ONE IUI and ONE IVF they are giving up on you already. That's bullshit (excuse my language).

Keep going after it - don't give up.

[Anonymous]

Go see dr d at dominion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:New RE at a new clinic, as soon as you are ready to do so. If your financial/insurance situation allows it, consider having consults with more than 1 and picking the one you're most comfortable/confident with. We received what turned out to be really bad advice from our first RE last year at this time. We followed the advice for 3 months because she was the RE we were established with, I honestly wasn't quite sure what else to do, and was overwhelmed by the thought of going somewhere else to "start over" because what if it turned out to be worse than our experience at the first place. It took a huge toll on my mental health.
Then one of my oldest friends, who has dealt with plenty of her own health problems but not infertility, said to me, "You aren't starting over from scratch. You have pages and pages of records from the first doctor to guide a new doctor's approach." For me that was the first step in the right direction in turning my thinking and outlook around. It gave me the confidence to book appointments at 2 other clinics quickly, and I was specifically able to see REs I had read an extensive number of reviews on (mostly comments here on DCUM). One was a good fit; the other was not. We promptly began moving forward with the good fit and everything fell into place. The way my second clinic did things made for a much more logical and comfortable environment for me, which meant I felt better taken care of and more confident as the process proceeded.
Good luck.

Thank you this is really helpful. May I ask what ended up happening in the 2nd clinic? Were you successful?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Go see dr d at dominion.

any particular reason to see him?

[Anonymous]

How important is it to you and your partner to have a child via your own pregnancy, compared to adoption? We went through secondary infertility with stats in our favor, but just got to the point where we realized we wanted another child, not another pregnancy. We were fortunate to be able to adopt our wonderful DD who completes our family. Whatever you choose, though, OP, I wish you peace.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How important is it to you and your partner to have a child via your own pregnancy, compared to adoption? We went through secondary infertility with stats in our favor, but just got to the point where we realized we wanted another child, not another pregnancy. We were fortunate to be able to adopt our wonderful DD who completes our family. Whatever you choose, though, OP, I wish you peace.

Thanks, I have definitely thought about this but after some research it seems like adoption is just as complicated/expensive/emotionally fraught as treatments. There's also no clock on adoptions (well, not as much as OE IVF). But definitely in our thoughts as well.

[Anonymous]

My AFC was 4 for #2 (success after a number of ivfs). Was that natural ivf? The success rate for that is very low. A new RE with new ideas may help (priming, different protocol, no bc if you were on that etc.) Also discuss supplements with your RE (if you haven't already).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My AFC was 4 for #2 (success after a number of ivfs). Was that natural ivf? The success rate for that is very low. A new RE with new ideas may help (priming, different protocol, no bc if you were on that etc.) Also discuss supplements with your RE (if you haven't already).

No it was regular IVF, there were 3 follicles but they were only able to get one egg.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How important is it to you and your partner to have a child via your own pregnancy, compared to adoption? We went through secondary infertility with stats in our favor, but just got to the point where we realized we wanted another child, not another pregnancy. We were fortunate to be able to adopt our wonderful DD who completes our family. Whatever you choose, though, OP, I wish you peace.

Do you mind sharing how long it took to adopt your DD? And Cost? I’ve had 2 NCIVFs and two Stim cycles and I am just not sure when to give up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's funny how failures make you think that it's not possible, when I know that statistically there is still a chance (there's always a chance!) which produces hope but also insanity.

We did an IUI with follistim and menopur. Failed. Then just did an IVF and retrieved 1, transferred on day 2. Failed.

On the one hand I know I still have age on my side (35) but on the other hand I wonder if there's even a point to even keep trying. My AFC is in the 3-4 range. Secondary infertility.

What to do next? Go to a different RE? (current one doesn't seem to think there's much more to do). Quit while I'm ahead?

Where are you now? Check out CCRM. I was at Dominion where they basically were just like keep trying but offered no changes. CCRM has tailored a protocol for me which at least makes me feel like they see me as an individual. Definitely do not give up yet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's funny how failures make you think that it's not possible, when I know that statistically there is still a chance (there's always a chance!) which produces hope but also insanity.

We did an IUI with follistim and menopur. Failed. Then just did an IVF and retrieved 1, transferred on day 2. Failed.

On the one hand I know I still have age on my side (35) but on the other hand I wonder if there's even a point to even keep trying. My AFC is in the 3-4 range. Secondary infertility.

What to do next? Go to a different RE? (current one doesn't seem to think there's much more to do). Quit while I'm ahead?

Where are you now? Check out CCRM. I was at Dominion where they basically were just like keep trying but offered no changes. CCRM has tailored a protocol for me which at least makes me feel like they see me as an individual. Definitely do not give up yet.

Currently at GW. Everything I've heard about CCRM is positive but it's way out in Tysons (hard to do that commute when monitoring) and also I heard quite more expensive than other practices.