Would you be comfortable with your boyfriend paying for things like hair and nails?

[Anonymous]

This is a new one for me. Boyfriend of 5 months offered to do this for me. Honestly I'm not comfortable with it. Anyway BTDT? Thoughts?

[Anonymous]

As long as it’s not an expectation of appearance standard, I’d love some pampering now and again. It could also play a bit creepy and controlling though. So imagine it depends on his approach and expectations, and absolutely your comfort level.

[Anonymous]

Is there a context to the offer? How/why did he bring it up? Was this something his last girlfriend expected? Just out of the blue, it sounds very Pretty Woman like he’s Richard Gere character and you are Julia Roberts character. But if you were saying something like how you wish you could afford to get your hair and nails done more often and he offered or he invited you to an event that was a financial burden so offered to pay for hair/nails, or it was a day of pampering gift - I could maybe see that.

To answer the title question, no I wouldn’t be comfortable with boyfriend paying for those things on a regular basis because either I had already made it a financial priority to be able to do those things myself or I decided it wasn’t a priority which would make me feel like he was trying to change me to offer to pay.

[Anonymous]

As a gift, sure. All the time? No.

[Anonymous]

I would but this is not uncommon in my circles.

[Anonymous]

As a treat, I would be ok with it. But as a regular thing? No way. Seems weird and controlling. Might also give him the idea that he has any say on how you look.

[Anonymous]

I would regularly pay for my gf’s waxing, but I had an ulterior motive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a new one for me. Boyfriend of 5 months offered to do this for me. Honestly I'm not comfortable with it. Anyway BTDT? Thoughts?

Totally depends on the context.

If he knows it's something you enjoy, and wants to get you a gift card as a gift? Fine.

If he's inviting you someplace dressy (e.g. a work event, or a friend's wedding) and know you'd want your hair and nails done, so he's offering to pay for it to reduce the burden on you, perhaps as thanks for coming? Fine

If he's taking over a variety of your daily expenses, and this is like paying for your rent or groceries? Problematic

If it's because he wants you to look different than you do? No

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a new one for me. Boyfriend of 5 months offered to do this for me. Honestly I'm not comfortable with it. Anyway BTDT? Thoughts?

Totally depends on the context.

If he knows it's something you enjoy, and wants to get you a gift card as a gift? Fine.

If he's inviting you someplace dressy (e.g. a work event, or a friend's wedding) and know you'd want your hair and nails done, so he's offering to pay for it to reduce the burden on you, perhaps as thanks for coming? Fine

If he's taking over a variety of your daily expenses, and this is like paying for your rent or groceries? Problematic

If it's because he wants you to look different than you do? No

+1

[Anonymous]

I'd love it. It's something I do religiously, and I like to be taken care of. YMMV.

[Anonymous]

At this stage in dating I think it means your boyfriend doesn’t think you do a good job of grooming or styling. Maybe he sees his friends girlfriends all have a certain look and you are too plain or not feminine enough.

[Anonymous]

No, HUGE step backwards for feminism. Please do not practice selective feminism. You will set us back a decade

[Anonymous]

“I would but this is not uncommon in my circles.”

Just curious, since I know no one who does this, what circles are these?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:“I would but this is not uncommon in my circles.”

Just curious, since I know no one who does this, what circles are these?

Sugarbabies

[Anonymous]

I agree with everyone else. If it's something you enjoy and he wants to treat you (spa day or gift card type idea) that's fine.

If it's something you said you wish you could have done more often, but it isn't in your budget; or if he's inviting you to thing(s) where you've explicitly said you'd be more comfortable with hair/nails done, this is also fine.

If you've never expressed any desire or interest in these services but he's pushing you to start getting them done regularly, that could be problematic.