Should I travel with my kids to my grandmother’s funeral?

[Anonymous]

My grandmother died and I will be attending her funeral. I need to decide whether to take my kids, DS1 age 2 months and DS2 age 2.5 years. The funeral is a 6 hour drive away.

I’m reluctant to take my children because I’m estranged from my mother and stepfather. I have not seen them in 6 years and they’ve never met my children. They will be at the funeral.

Option A: I attend funeral with DH, spend only one night in town, and leave my children at home with nanny and in laws.

Option B: I attend funeral and bring DH and my children and we spend 3 nights in town. The upside is there may be opportunities to see other family that I do really like. The downside is travel at this age is hard, my siblings have been hard to pin down with plans, and it will be including my children in an unpredictable situation.

Should I go with option A or option B?

[Anonymous]

B

[Anonymous]

A

[Anonymous]

Your kids are so young. I would do a unless you want to reconcile with family.

[Anonymous]

Either but I'd probably choose A. Can your inlaws come to help with the kids?

[Anonymous]

You could leave them with your nanny AND your in laws??? Definitely A! Just make sure the nanny knows the in laws will be there when asking her to stay with them & vice versa.

[Anonymous]

B, obviously.

[Anonymous]

A. Kids that age don’t understand anything about a funeral. Go, pay your respects, and come home.

[Anonymous]

I am sorry for your loss. I would do B so that both you and your kids begin getting used to seeing family and establishing some travel norms when you travel to your family hometown if you don't do it much. I wouldn't take either child to the funeral though unless it will be closed casket. Maybe your husband could stay with them at the hotel and then bring them to the reception afterwards?

[Anonymous]

I went solo to 3 of my grandparents’ funerals, but they required a plane ride and kids would have had to miss school.

Left the kids with DH and spent time with my family without having to worry about keeping my kids occupied/fed/etc. I got to reconnect with some cousins and hang out with my brother.

I don’t think 19:23 read the OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You could leave them with your nanny AND your in laws??? Definitely A! Just make sure the nanny knows the in laws will be there when asking her to stay with them & vice versa.

Op here. Yeah we’ve done it before and they would take shifts-nanny during the day and in law’s overnight.

[Anonymous]

b

Why are u hiding your kids from your parents? You seem dysfunctional.

[Anonymous]

Definitely not. Spend time with your family uninterrupted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:b

Why are u hiding your kids from your parents? You seem dysfunctional.

Op here. They chose estrangement-not me. They’ve never tried to contact me or asked for my kids. I sent pictures of my kids and my mom returned them in the mail with a nasty missive.

But regardless, the funeral is not going to be for reconnecting with them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your kids are so young. I would do a unless you want to reconcile with family.

Op here. It would not be for reconciliation.