Should I travel with my kids to my grandmother’s funeral?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am sorry for your loss. I would do B so that both you and your kids begin getting used to seeing family and establishing some travel norms when you travel to your family hometown if you don't do it much. I wouldn't take either child to the funeral though unless it will be closed casket. Maybe your husband could stay with them at the hotel and then bring them to the reception afterwards?

Op here. She was cremated so no worries about that.

I’m not sure if I’d take the kids to the actual funeral. DH might take them or the nanny might come with us and she’d take them.

[Anonymous]

Option A. You can go and pay your respects to your grandmother without the stress of traveling with young kids and having their estranged grandparents nearby.

[Anonymous]

Option A. See the other family you’d like to see at other times or write them notes.

[Anonymous]

First - OP, I am sorry for your loss.

OPTION A!

Any of you numbskull PP's suggesting option B are either out of your minds or have no reading comprehension skills.

Let's recap:

OP's mother and step-father chose to be estranged from OP and returned letters and pics of her kids to her

OP's kids are so young they will never remember the event or meeting anyone

If OP wants to see other family members she likes she can do it later

Once again, OP, I am sorry for your loss and I am glad you have your in-laws and nanny to help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:First - OP, I am sorry for your loss.

OPTION A!

Any of you numbskull PP's suggesting option B are either out of your minds or have no reading comprehension skills.

Let's recap:

OP's mother and step-father chose to be estranged from OP and returned letters and pics of her kids to her

OP's kids are so young they will never remember the event or meeting anyone

If OP wants to see other family members she likes she can do it later

Once again, OP, I am sorry for your loss and I am glad you have your in-laws and nanny to help.

+1

[Anonymous]

B

You can reconnect with family and introduce your children to those who haven't met them yet. It is no surprise that your sibs are hard to pin down to specifics since probably everyone is scrambling to make arrangements. You'll have time to make some specific plans when you get there. Don't take the kids to the funeral but do take them to other events. Your family will be happy to see them / meet them.

You can't control your mother and step-father or what they do so don't even try … this also means that you shouldn't let them control what you do. When you keep your family away then you cede all of your power to them. Why would you do that? Go with your head held high, mourn your grandmother and reconnect with everyone else.

[Anonymous]

3days? Too long.

[Anonymous]

A 6 hour drive with a 2 month old will end up closer to 9 hours. No, I wouldn’t take the kids, even without considering your family dynamics.

[Anonymous]

Dh stays with kids. You go for 3 days.

[Anonymous]

Without a doubt, option A. Don’t bring young kids (they are VERY young) to a funeral. Even if they don’t attend the funeral, it’s going to be way too hard trying to see other family etc with the kids in tow (not to mention, possibly frustrating for the other guests with crying kids/ distractions)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A 6 hour drive with a 2 month old will end up closer to 9 hours. No, I wouldn’t take the kids, even without considering your family dynamics.

+1. That sounds miserable.

So sorry for your loss OP. I’d do option A considering your circumstances. I just learned that my great-uncle (who was like a surrogate grandfather as mine died when I was young) passed away and am trying to decide what to do. I also have an almost 2 month old and 2yo. I don’t have enough milk to leave baby at home, the drive would be too long and since she hasn’t even had her 2 month vaccines yet so I’m hesitant to fly with her. Unfortunately I think I’ll have to skip it.

[Anonymous]

A

[Anonymous]

I would do A and maybe do 2 overnights or really maximize the time you have there with family. You have a lot of support at home and you are already going to be away so I would try and make the most of that time.

[Anonymous]

A

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:B

You can reconnect with family and introduce your children to those who haven't met them yet. It is no surprise that your sibs are hard to pin down to specifics since probably everyone is scrambling to make arrangements. You'll have time to make some specific plans when you get there. Don't take the kids to the funeral but do take them to other events. Your family will be happy to see them / meet them.

You can't control your mother and step-father or what they do so don't even try … this also means that you shouldn't let them control what you do. When you keep your family away then you cede all of your power to them. Why would you do that? Go with your head held high, mourn your grandmother and reconnect with everyone else.

+1 we took our young kids to my DH’s grandmother’s funeral and it was fine. They don’t really know what’s going on at that age and some of your other relatives will probably appreciate meeting them.