Pls. tell me your DC schedule after school- how you monitor them on their computer... phone at home
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Anonymous
| I am an ADHD parent. I need help outlining a defined schedule. One hour (total electronics) after school should be sufficient right? How much do you allow them on the weekend? My husband bought my 10 year a game computer for Christmas. Im still so mad! Now I have to battle the iPhone, the Nintendo, Xbox and now the game toy plus the TV! |
Anonymous
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I hear you. Completely.
Here are our rules: No TV during the week Once homework and chores are 100% complete, they can pick 30 minutes on the Kindle, Switch OR computer (a few computer-based games they like.) We ask them to time themselves, and it works about 70% of the time. |
Anonymous
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It is difficult to monitor teens because they want independence and hate any supervision. During Christmas break I negotiated with my DS (14) and he came up with a daily and weekend task chart for him, that we both can live with. In return, I will not get after him about most things or talk in "anxious shrieks". I find that after he does the daily and weekend tasks, he does not have too much time to do other things.
The daily goals (excluding school, eating, sleeping, doing homework, studying for tests) include - 1) Daily Hygiene - This includes showering with anti-acne body wash, washing hair with dandruff shampoo, moisturizing, acne cream, sunscreen, oral hygiene including water-pik and gargling, wearing deo, taking his multivitamin. 2) Exercising on the treadmill for 30 minutes or 1 hour. He has to exercise daily, but this is the only time he can watch netflix during the week 3) Studying Math for 30 minutes from an online resource (This usually ends up getting punted to the weekend though). Weekend goal includes - 1) Studying for an aptitude exam for 2 hours 2) Working on his 2 EC activities for 2 hours each. These are the basic minimum chores he does every day though they are not on the chore list - straightening his bed, tossing his clothes from the floor into the laundry hamper, loading dishes he has used into dishwasher, bringing me his lunchbox or school papers to sign, putting his bookbag, shoes and coat away. He no longer takes the trash out or does any other cleanup or help around the house. (For the present, that is acceptable because he has a long day at school, clubs and tons of homework.). I guess, depending on the course load of their children, parents can determine if they want to include chores such as vacuuming, doing laundry, folding clothes, food prep, setting table, walking dog etc to their teen's daily worklist. I feel life has become peaceful again and January turned out to be very stressfree for both him and me. Maybe he is not doing too much but for me this is great. YMMV |
Anonymous
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At 10 it was easy. No electronics Sunday 3 PM to Friday 3 PM.
Now that they are teens, more is up to them. I have found that we can't keep to clock-work schedules for a variety of reasons: my attention, daily differences in amount of homework, daily differences in after school activity schedules, etc. So for us the key has been to set priorities and consequences for getting the priorities wrong. 1. Keeping external schedules (on time to school and activities). 2. Keeping self-care routines (showers, teeth, chores, adequate food and sleep). 3. Homework. 4. practice instrument. 5. exercise (for the one who has fewer athletic endeavors) 6. having a social life 7. having a hobby 8. having fun We try to fit some of that in every day, and recognize that circumstance will dictate shifting priorities (e.g. finals week, Spring Break, big project due), but no area should be neglected. In real life what that looks like is parents prompting reminders when 1-5 are getting off track, usually due to over-prioritizing 6-8. Consequences are usually natural consequences, unless that proves to be ineffective, then the consequence is increased parental supervision in the area of lapse -- which they hate, so it is usually effective -- or complete, whole house internet shutdown if things get really bad (happened once). |
Anonymous
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Disney Circle.
Plug it in, take back control. Game over. |
Anonymous
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You know, i JUST said clamped down the other day. I let them do it between 7:30-8pm each night. That's it. Exception is the desktop computer where my kids will write stories, use for homework, play around with graphics. etc.
I have an 11 and 8 year old. The 8 year old gets especially sucked in and it created stress, arguments, laziness. |
Anonymous
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Maybe this should be in the special needs forum?
I don't monitor their computer or phone time. |
Anonymous
| why don't you use team viewer or chrome remote desktop. setup remote access unattended and then pop in from time to time. you will be able to see what your teen is doing on your phone. |
Anonymous
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13 yr old with adhd.
comes home, eats a snack, takes his meds (often forgets so needs reminding), does homework. He usually is up doing homework until dinner, usually an hour after dinner. If he gets done earlier then he can do what he likes to do, which is currently reading fan fiction. Occasionally he gets in to a video game and plays that instead of reading the fan fiction. He doesn't stay on task well but it is better with the after school medication. |
Anonymous
Dude - that kid is gonna leave skid marks in the driveway when it comes time for college! |
Anonymous
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Our rules are super loosey goosey compared to DCUM.
Our DS12 has ADHD Inattentive and a few other "special needs" but is responsible to come straight home from the bus (we have Ring doorbell notifications that shows him arriving home AND he texts when he gets in the house). Let the dog outside, report to us what homework he has, and then he has free time for 30 minutes (when texting with us, we remind him to set Alexa timer) and then he has to get his homework done and practice Hebrew. My DH gets home about 1 hour after he does, and he should be either working on homework or finished. If not finished, he takes a few minutes to understand what is being worked on/why (is it a big project, does he need help, or is he screwing around) and the remaining time until dinner is structured based on whatever that situation is. If he's done, he's probably free to play Switch or on his phone until time to set the table. After dinner he usually studies for a test with one of us, showers, and then comes back down to watch a show with us before bed. |
Anonymous
What medicine does he take in the afternoon? Doesn’t he take one in the morning to help with school? |
Anonymous
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This is a super helpful thread. Just want to thank OP and others for posting.
I HATE the tech battles because there always seems to be some kind of special circumstance like school being closed today or one of the kids being sick and stuck on the coach all day. |
Anonymous
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Fellow parent with a kid with ADHD here
It is really hard for us because 99% of DC's school work in online. He is home for 2 hrs before DH or I get home and we need him to do his work so I can't cut off the internet entirely. Before he was medicated, we had a LOT of problems with him screwing around. Now, that he is medicated, life is 10000% better and most of the time, his work is done when we get home. We got Circle by Disney. I have YouTube blocked (his biggest time suck.) I put the Xbox on a separate monitor (you can assign devices to people/categories) and it doesn't have internet access during the week - theoretically he could play a game offline, but he has little interest and knows that if he does, he will be missing the power cord for quite some time. Once work is done, and as long as his grades are all A/Bs, he can watch YouTube/play Switch until he needs to help with dinner. We eat as a family and then we may play a family game, watch a tv show as a family, read, etc. On weekends, we don't have a limit. Some weekends, it is very little - because he has sports/party/errands/etc. Some weekends, he plays a lot. |