I don’t understand why DH thinks he deserves things for working

[Anonymous]

We both WOH and make roughly the same amount. I work longer hours. DH, however, thinks he “deserves” a weekend golfing, sleeping in or a new car because he “works hard”. I also work hard but we have kids and none of these things are very practical or compatible with being a parent. To me, you work to support yourself and your family. To be fair, I am all for the occasional downtime or boys’ weekend but DH thinks he deserves these things all the time not acknowledging that I will be required to makeup for his absence. Do a lot of people think they deserve such things for working? Am I just being not understanding.

[Anonymous]

Is he ok with picking up the slack while you have an equal amount of fun time?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Is he ok with picking up the slack while you have an equal amount of fun time?

In theory yes. In reality, he doesn’t last one hour with the DCs without needing me to come home or makes some excuse why he can’t be home.

[Anonymous]

How old are you and how old are your children?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Is he ok with picking up the slack while you have an equal amount of fun time?

In theory yes. In reality, he doesn’t last one hour with the DCs without needing me to come home or makes some excuse why he can’t be home.

You have to schedule this. Each get one “event” each weekend. When you go out, don’t svswe the phone or come home when he calls. He’s being a baby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How old are you and how old are your children?

38 (me), 46 DH...DCs are 2 and 4.

[Anonymous]

You married a man child. Sorry. Hard to tell sometimes ahead of time.

[Anonymous]

For your first problem, make a annual budget. Be sure to have a DH and DW entertainment line.

2nd problem: Don't answer your phone.

[Anonymous]

Hire a babysitter so you both can go out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Is he ok with picking up the slack while you have an equal amount of fun time?

In theory yes. In reality, he doesn’t last one hour with the DCs without needing me to come home or makes some excuse why he can’t be home.

You have to schedule this. Each get one “event” each weekend. When you go out, don’t svswe the phone or come home when he calls. He’s being a baby.

This.

[Anonymous]

He's being a man baby. "I deserve it" is what people say when they know they're doing something that is burdensome to others.

You will have to take a much harder line to break him of this. Next time, tell him you're taking an equal amount of time, and plan a destination for yourself that is far away. That way even if he makes up an excuse for you to come back, he will still have to cope on his own for a while. Or, if he calls you back before the agreed-upon time, it doesn't count and you leave for the same amount of time the following weekend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Is he ok with picking up the slack while you have an equal amount of fun time?

In theory yes. In reality, he doesn’t last one hour with the DCs without needing me to come home or makes some excuse why he can’t be home.

You have to schedule this. Each get one “event” each weekend. When you go out, don’t svswe the phone or come home when he calls. He’s being a baby.

I have tried this and every weekend he gets time for the gym and usually something else. It’s not enough for him. He thinks he deserves more.

[Anonymous]

Are you his second wife?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you his second wife?

Yes

[Anonymous]

Have you asked him straight up “what about my time?”