Where to go after burnout?
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Anonymous
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I have two boys, one is a U12 DA and the other is a U13 EDP (could probably play up but was injured during DA tryouts and hasn't fully recovered). Both are strong players, but are starting to 'burn out' on the practices, coaches attitudes, and are generally not enjoying soccer anymore. Both love the game--they watch it on TV, read books on tactics and get magazines from Europe ever week, but they are dropping hints they want to dial it back a bit.
We're not really sure what is the correct lingo (travel, select, club, rec, etc). What is the level or some clubs below DA / travel where they can still play with competitive players, but not get wrapped up in the 'scholarship or die trying' mentality? They just want to play good football with some mates and enjoy their time developing, not dread it. |
Anonymous
| I have a kid in VA so the options might be a little different, but if mine hated DA, I'd skip ECNL and move them to a team in VPL or CCL. I think NCSL would be too much of a shift down as generally the teams aren't that good. Keep in mind though that high school is around the corner. If they want to make the JV team as freshman, you need to be out of DA but still good players. I would look at second teams at a strong club like Bethesda, McLean or Arlington. Teammates and coaches will still be very serious but only some will be focused on moving up or playing in college. |
Anonymous
| Focus should be finding the right coach that will foster your kids' love of the game. Spend the winter and early spring attending practices with other coaches and clubs to try to identify ones your sons click with. The problem with the big clubs is that there's no guarantee for your coach. The coach assigned to the team at try outs in the Spring may not be with the club or may be assigned to a different team when you show up in the fall so try to get some insight on that from club parents. Over the years, my kids have had coaches that encourage and increase a love of the game and others that had a bad, "unfun" or toxic environment. It makes a big, big difference. |
Anonymous
| All of the kids in our neighborhood who used to play travel or high level soccer eventually switched to lacrosse (boys and girls). |
Anonymous
| Just curious, is there any early sign before they burn out? |
Anonymous
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Early sign:
After a long drive (1+ hours) to a game and then a long drive home, ask them "was that fun for you?" |
Anonymous
This is a great tip. In the end, that is all that counts. When you find a good coach, ride that train as long as possible! We left DA after 2 years because it was just too much training and too many limitations, keep in mind that distractions outside of sports start to really kick in like school activities, friends, girl/boyfriends....let the kids be kids. Of course we all want college/pro players when they are starting travel at U9, but many would prefer a normal path to success that has a higher probability such as a doctor, lawyer, accountant, etc. |
Anonymous
So what? That is not burnout that is simply a preference. |
Anonymous
Not wanting to go to practices anymore. Complaining when it's time. This was always a clear sign for us that something needed to change and ask is it the sport in general or the team/club/coach/practice curriculum. We weathered this twice and the answer was the Club environment with boring/non-creative or age -appropriate type training sessions. One case it was teammate behavior which never was addressed. My kids have gone through short periods of time where they lost a bit of passion and by backing off, allowing a few missed sessions, finding fun activities soccer related outside of their Club, etc. went a long way. I also found camps and training completely separate from the Club in off-season. It was good to have different players and different coaches and see the big picture. I can happily say my U14 and U11 went to the local outdoor basketball court with pug nets in tow and got a few friends to come outside in 20 degree weather to play Futsal yesterday. They are back on a 'all in' mode. |
Anonymous
They were all burnt out on soccer. Switching sports reignited their love of sports. When "serious" and travel soccer starts so young, 6 or 7 years old in many cases, it is only logical that kids will get burnt out by the time they get to their tween or teen years. |
Anonymous
| I think there is a big difference between DA, regular travel teams and rec. Yes there are some good rec teams and bad DA teams but there is still a big difference on average. The OP is asking where to go and still get good training but a better attitude. Rec would not be my first suggestion - maybe if you know the coach or players on the team beforehand but I would not go in blind. I know DA players who have moved to the top team at a second-tier club or to a second team at a DA/ECNL club and it seems to be a better fit for them. Still good soccer, less of a race for some elusive scholarship. |
Anonymous
Lacrosse has nearly the same level of commitment as soccer does. Preferring another sport or activity is not burnout. It is ok to like something else. The original activity also does not need to be blamed as the cause of burnout. The new activity is just more enjoyable for whatever reason. Perhaps a different group of friends is playing LAX, perhaps the player is better at LAX than soccer and that makes it more fun. Perhaps LAX offers a new challenge that is exciting to the player. The point is it is not necessarily true to pin burnout as a reason for gravitating to another sport, especially when we are talking about 8-11 year old kids. At this age the whole point is to expose them to many activities and see what sticks as an interest. It could be lacrosse, dance, gymnastics soccer, piano, math competitions etc... After trying a few activities then picking a sport or activity to focus on over others is not due to burnout but due to simple preference. |
Anonymous
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Don't be the parent that puts their kid in EVERYTHING starting at U9: ODP, travel team, second soccer team, private session, every travel camp, etc. Then, claim the kid just LOVES it and has to do it. It's most often the kid making dad happy and being miserable in a few short years, often with an overuse injury to boot. It likely backfires.
I've seen this "FOMO" from too many parents in this area. They hear one kid is doing X and then they have to have their kid do it too. They think that if they sign them up for more and more and MORE structured camps/training they will be that much better. They move them to a DA Club at age 8 so they can be in the pipeline down the road. They aren't looking at what is best for the kid and family right then and there. Unfortunately, it doesn't work that way. Most kids get better on their own time, practicing on their own, which they can't do when they are over-scheduled. And many of the DA players won't even come from inside the Club anyways. If they have developed well, they will get a chance to be seen down the road. But, over-doing it and pushing too much structure and zero free time at too young an age is not going to make them love it. They have to love it themselves. Kids sports are a big business. This isn't just soccer, it's baseball, hockey, lacrosse, etc.. |
Anonymous
People are actually starting this at U7/U8 now. They will try them out as early as possible to position them to drop down when the finally legitimately reach U9. Read the stats about the turnover from the A team at age 8 to the A team/equivalent DA team at age 16/17. It's not the start at U7 99% of the time. |
Anonymous
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It's a money grab and as consumers you can choose to buy or not. Know that after it's all done, your kids will not remember if they were DA, ECNL, etc.....They will remember the friends, the overnight trips, the coaches, and that's all that should really matter. I have a college kid that just tossed every medal/trophy into the recycle from his days of travel soccer, travel basketball, etc. When I asked him why he's tossing them his answer was simple, "I can't remember any of those games, but I remember which pizza place was good at some of those tournaments"
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