Where to go after burnout?

[Anonymous]

nothing you wrote describes "burnout".

Your child's youth sports career ended and a new phase of his life began. If he only remembered pizza, perhaps his focus wasn't on the specific activity, just the socialization.

I have a fond memories of many games played, won and lost, from my youth rec, club, travel, MS, HS, college all the way through post-college playing. Pictures, teammates, particular opponents, names of clubs and schools all bring back memories.

[Anonymous]

We found that rec was very competitive for boys in HS, but not at all for girls.

The majority of HS boys on my son's rec team had played some level of travel but had stopped for various reasons -- burnout, other sports, etc. I think most teams they played were very competitive and were composed similarly. I was very surprised how exciting most of the rec games were.

The HS girls on my daughter's rec team were a mix. A good number were out there just to be social and have a good time, but most had played rec for many years. The majority had never had played at a higher level. The girls that did play at a higher level got very frustrated playing with girls with less experience. Some of the teams had a real commitment issues and several games were won by forfeit. It was tough because the girls show up and want to play and the opponent team has about 5 girls. The games were torture -- either forfeit or a blowout by us or the opponent.

[Anonymous]

oh and the nice thing about rec is that the level of commitment is so little that they can still play their other sports.

[Anonymous]

The problem we had with rec relates to the OP's original request: while there are some good players, it is very much 'big man with the ball' and very little team-based possession play or tactics. Can be frustrating for a kid who wants to play the beautiful game but is stuck with a bunch of ball hogs.

Of course this applies to some DA teams as well but that's another thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't be the parent that puts their kid in EVERYTHING starting at U9: ODP, travel team, second soccer team, private session, every travel camp, etc. Then, claim the kid just LOVES it and has to do it. It's most often the kid making dad happy and being miserable in a few short years, often with an overuse injury to boot. It likely backfires.

I've seen this "FOMO" from too many parents in this area. They hear one kid is doing X and then they have to have their kid do it too. They think that if they sign them up for more and more and MORE structured camps/training they will be that much better. They move them to a DA Club at age 8 so they can be in the pipeline down the road. They aren't looking at what is best for the kid and family right then and there.

Unfortunately, it doesn't work that way. Most kids get better on their own time, practicing on their own, which they can't do when they are over-scheduled. And many of the DA players won't even come from inside the Club anyways. If they have developed well, they will get a chance to be seen down the road. But, over-doing it and pushing too much structure and zero free time at too young an age is not going to make them love it. They have to love it themselves.

Kids sports are a big business. This isn't just soccer, it's baseball, hockey, lacrosse, etc..

People are actually starting this at U7/U8 now. They will try them out as early as possible to position them to drop down when the finally legitimately reach U9. Read the stats about the turnover from the A team at age 8 to the A team/equivalent DA team at age 16/17. It's not the start at U7 99% of the time.

DA, ECNL, or any other "elite" option at 13U or below = #MONEYGRAB. Too many parents running/influencing the show pressured by the FOMO. Above 13U, Little Mia and Landon can finally decide for themselves what they want to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's a money grab and as consumers you can choose to buy or not. Know that after it's all done, your kids will not remember if they were DA, ECNL, etc.....They will remember the friends, the overnight trips, the coaches, and that's all that should really matter. I have a college kid that just tossed every medal/trophy into the recycle from his days of travel soccer, travel basketball, etc. When I asked him why he's tossing them his answer was simple, "I can't remember any of those games, but I remember which pizza place was good at some of those tournaments"

This is so spot-on. I just threw out all my big box old soccer trophies too — Ex D2 college player, played travel as a kid when it was called 'select'

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's a money grab and as consumers you can choose to buy or not. Know that after it's all done, your kids will not remember if they were DA, ECNL, etc.....They will remember the friends, the overnight trips, the coaches, and that's all that should really matter. I have a college kid that just tossed every medal/trophy into the recycle from his days of travel soccer, travel basketball, etc. When I asked him why he's tossing them his answer was simple, "I can't remember any of those games, but I remember which pizza place was good at some of those tournaments"

This is so spot-on. I just threw out all my big box old soccer trophies too — Ex D2 college player, played travel as a kid when it was called 'select'

I have good memories and I actually do remember games, like scoring the winning penalty in Eastern Regionals, our severe rivals from up in Long Island, etc. The training I will never forget. There's a reason I could easily run marathons later in life and crossfit and other extreme sports.

As a woman, it also made me tough. I remember beating all of the boys in my grade in 6th grade pacer run, the old 'Physical Fitness tests'. It helped playing a team sport, especially in the workplace. I am no shrinking violet.

I could give a cr*p about the actual trophies. My mom got rid of the mountain in her basement. I only saved the 'select jacket' with all of those patches you sewed on from all the tournaments and my HS letter jacket (state champ patch).

Most of all I bonded so closely with my dad. He helped coach, and was at all the practices, tournaments. My dad was part of all of our teams and tougher on us than everyone else, but it did make us stronger. And he never brought it home or in the car afterwards.

We have so many funny stories from those years. Ridiculously funny stories about the team road trips, etc. Kids used just pile in the back of the station wagon.

I don't see the same bonds on travel teams today. For one, we didn't have yearly tryouts. Once we became the top team, players would come to practices to tryout and there were a few cuts and replacements over the years. But, there was nothing like the 2 month long tryout season that eclipses the ENTIRE spring season like today. Players were actually developed and the team was developed together. I am not a huge fan of what has become of youth soccer today. Yes, there is a body of better coaches, more skill taught younger, etc., but it is a business first and foremost and the kids are the ones losing out.

[Anonymous]

Go around to other Club practices and ask a lot of other parents, from outside of where you currently are. Especially, find parents with much older kids.

I don't think I'd drop completely to Rec, but I would definitely consider switching to a different environment, one maybe more developmental in nature.

There are a lot of options in the area, if you actually look past the 'big names' and the people on this message board bragging about the most elite-Elitist status of their little kid's team, as if they were the ones playing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's a money grab and as consumers you can choose to buy or not. Know that after it's all done, your kids will not remember if they were DA, ECNL, etc.....They will remember the friends, the overnight trips, the coaches, and that's all that should really matter. I have a college kid that just tossed every medal/trophy into the recycle from his days of travel soccer, travel basketball, etc. When I asked him why he's tossing them his answer was simple, "I can't remember any of those games, but I remember which pizza place was good at some of those tournaments"

This is so spot-on. I just threw out all my big box old soccer trophies too — Ex D2 college player, played travel as a kid when it was called 'select'

Funny you said spot on to the point about not remembering if kids "were DA, ECNL, etc...." and then went on to say that you played in what was called "select". Sooooo you do in fact remember what you played as well as the good pizza place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We found that rec was very competitive for boys in HS, but not at all for girls.

The majority of HS boys on my son's rec team had played some level of travel but had stopped for various reasons -- burnout, other sports, etc. I think most teams they played were very competitive and were composed similarly. I was very surprised how exciting most of the rec games were.

The HS girls on my daughter's rec team were a mix. A good number were out there just to be social and have a good time, but most had played rec for many years. The majority had never had played at a higher level. The girls that did play at a higher level got very frustrated playing with girls with less experience. Some of the teams had a real commitment issues and several games were won by forfeit. It was tough because the girls show up and want to play and the opponent team has about 5 girls. The games were torture -- either forfeit or a blowout by us or the opponent.

Travel teams should be banned till later years in HS so everybody can participate in rec to raise the bar and avoid burnout.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We found that rec was very competitive for boys in HS, but not at all for girls.

The majority of HS boys on my son's rec team had played some level of travel but had stopped for various reasons -- burnout, other sports, etc. I think most teams they played were very competitive and were composed similarly. I was very surprised how exciting most of the rec games were.

The HS girls on my daughter's rec team were a mix. A good number were out there just to be social and have a good time, but most had played rec for many years. The majority had never had played at a higher level. The girls that did play at a higher level got very frustrated playing with girls with less experience. Some of the teams had a real commitment issues and several games were won by forfeit. It was tough because the girls show up and want to play and the opponent team has about 5 girls. The games were torture -- either forfeit or a blowout by us or the opponent.

Travel teams should be banned till later years in HS so everybody can participate in rec to raise the bar and avoid burnout.

Not sure how that would work out for college coaches who recruit girls as freshmen and sophomores in HS.... and generally recruit out of Club soccer. Can you imagine D1 college coaches sitting on the sidelines of rec games? not so much...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We found that rec was very competitive for boys in HS, but not at all for girls.

The majority of HS boys on my son's rec team had played some level of travel but had stopped for various reasons -- burnout, other sports, etc. I think most teams they played were very competitive and were composed similarly. I was very surprised how exciting most of the rec games were.

The HS girls on my daughter's rec team were a mix. A good number were out there just to be social and have a good time, but most had played rec for many years. The majority had never had played at a higher level. The girls that did play at a higher level got very frustrated playing with girls with less experience. Some of the teams had a real commitment issues and several games were won by forfeit. It was tough because the girls show up and want to play and the opponent team has about 5 girls. The games were torture -- either forfeit or a blowout by us or the opponent.

Travel teams should be banned till later years in HS so everybody can participate in rec to raise the bar and avoid burnout.

There are plenty of kids who play Club/travel soccer from a young age and never burn out... Kids who do burn out probably didn't want to be there in the first place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We found that rec was very competitive for boys in HS, but not at all for girls.

The majority of HS boys on my son's rec team had played some level of travel but had stopped for various reasons -- burnout, other sports, etc. I think most teams they played were very competitive and were composed similarly. I was very surprised how exciting most of the rec games were.

The HS girls on my daughter's rec team were a mix. A good number were out there just to be social and have a good time, but most had played rec for many years. The majority had never had played at a higher level. The girls that did play at a higher level got very frustrated playing with girls with less experience. Some of the teams had a real commitment issues and several games were won by forfeit. It was tough because the girls show up and want to play and the opponent team has about 5 girls. The games were torture -- either forfeit or a blowout by us or the opponent.

Travel teams should be banned till later years in HS so everybody can participate in rec to raise the bar and avoid burnout.

Not sure how that would work out for college coaches who recruit girls as freshmen and sophomores in HS.... and generally recruit out of Club soccer. Can you imagine D1 college coaches sitting on the sidelines of rec games? not so much...

College recruiting should never be the focus of the youth soccer, at least before junior year in HS. If everybody follows the same rules and college coaches still want to discover talents before that, they are more than welcomed at the sidelines of rec games.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We found that rec was very competitive for boys in HS, but not at all for girls.

The majority of HS boys on my son's rec team had played some level of travel but had stopped for various reasons -- burnout, other sports, etc. I think most teams they played were very competitive and were composed similarly. I was very surprised how exciting most of the rec games were.

The HS girls on my daughter's rec team were a mix. A good number were out there just to be social and have a good time, but most had played rec for many years. The majority had never had played at a higher level. The girls that did play at a higher level got very frustrated playing with girls with less experience. Some of the teams had a real commitment issues and several games were won by forfeit. It was tough because the girls show up and want to play and the opponent team has about 5 girls. The games were torture -- either forfeit or a blowout by us or the opponent.

Travel teams should be banned till later years in HS so everybody can participate in rec to raise the bar and avoid burnout.

Not sure how that would work out for college coaches who recruit girls as freshmen and sophomores in HS.... and generally recruit out of Club soccer. Can you imagine D1 college coaches sitting on the sidelines of rec games? not so much...

College recruiting should never be the focus of the youth soccer, at least before junior year in HS. If everybody follows the same rules and college coaches still want to discover talents before that, they are more than welcomed at the sidelines of rec games.

This might be the most ridiculous statement I have ever heard. You want to force kids who want to play a sport at a higher level to stay at a lower level? Will there be participation trophies for these high school sophomores?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We found that rec was very competitive for boys in HS, but not at all for girls.

The majority of HS boys on my son's rec team had played some level of travel but had stopped for various reasons -- burnout, other sports, etc. I think most teams they played were very competitive and were composed similarly. I was very surprised how exciting most of the rec games were.

The HS girls on my daughter's rec team were a mix. A good number were out there just to be social and have a good time, but most had played rec for many years. The majority had never had played at a higher level. The girls that did play at a higher level got very frustrated playing with girls with less experience. Some of the teams had a real commitment issues and several games were won by forfeit. It was tough because the girls show up and want to play and the opponent team has about 5 girls. The games were torture -- either forfeit or a blowout by us or the opponent.

Travel teams should be banned till later years in HS so everybody can participate in rec to raise the bar and avoid burnout.

There are plenty of kids who play Club/travel soccer from a young age and never burn out... Kids who do burn out probably didn't want to be there in the first place.

Not sure if OP will agree with you...And burnout is not even the main point. Club/Travel does very little to truly develop talents, like what a PP mentioned it's all #MB. There are ways to develop talents without having to do a lot of travel from a very young age if there is only one path going forward before later years in HS. Good players will still be able to play with good players in rec. Families save a lot of money and kids have a lot more time to work on things that really matter.