Are grandparents generally more closer with their daughter's kids than son's kids?

[Anonymous]

It seems to me that maternal grandparents are closer and more involved with their grandkids. Is this true? What are your experiences like?

[Anonymous]

I think it’s true, generally. I’m going to try to buck the trend, as I have only boys.

[Anonymous]

Your son's you son till he takes a wife but a daughter's your daughter all your life.. yes, it is true

[Anonymous]

In both my brothers family and mine, our dad is the only living grandparent. He is closer to my children but that is more due to proximity than anything else. He sees my brothers children a few times a year. All of the grandchildren call grandpa independently just to say hi.

[Anonymous]

It was true for us growing up, and true in our current families too. I've always theorized that it can be easier for a daughter to let her own parents come in so completely to family life, while it can be harder sometimes for a DIL to accept that much involvement from a MIL/FIL. For our own family, my DH has been so incredibly welcoming to my own parents who play a big role in our family life. And geography plays a role too - my own MIL is not nearby and that affects her role in our lives. That said, I do have friends whose paternal grandparents are VERY involved and loving.

[Anonymous]

Generally true but that's because the daughter/mother/parents relationship is often closer than son/parents. My dh is close with his family and they are lovely. We try to be fair but everyone recognizes that my mother and parents spend more time with their grandkid because I know them better and trust their parenting more. We really try to be fair but it just is. I have seen the opposite though.

[Anonymous]

Definitely!!! In my experience and from what I see- daughters need more help than sons and their moms step in to help constantly. Because sons don’t seem to need help, their moms just sit back and don’t ask or help. My mil is local, but we fly my mom in all the time when shit hits the fan. Dh is normally gone on business trips and I work too. Mil helps her daughters family.

We were sick last weekend when it snowed. My mil asked and I said we were sick. Instead of saying she hopes the kids get better, she tells us to make sure to send her snow pics to share with her friends.

[Anonymous]

I think it depends on the parent/child relationship.

[Anonymous]

Maternal grandparents help constantly but paternal grandparents still want half the holidays.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your son's you son till he takes a wife but a daughter's your daughter all your life.. yes, it is true

No, its not. I'm not close to my Mom at all anymore but I am the primary caretaker for my MIL.

[Anonymous]

In my case it’s true. We see my parents at least weekly and they babysit regularly. The kids adore them. My husband’s parents are very hands off and not because of me or my husband.

FIL and his wife live in another state (4 hour flight) and coke to see the kids every few months. When they are in town they’ve never asked to have any alone time with the kids. MIL, who is single and alone, lives a 10 hour drive away and chooses not to move closer as she likes her life as it is - her hobbies, friends, volunteering, and one or two visits with us per year. She sends lots of flowery texts about how much she loves her grandkids and how proud she is of them, and also many packages of toys and clothes. That’s the extent of her participation in their lives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it depends on the parent/child relationship.

yes, but it's generally more true than not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your son's you son till he takes a wife but a daughter's your daughter all your life.. yes, it is true

No, it's not. Sometimes yes, sometimes no, just like with anything. Definitely not the case in my extended family, on both sides.

And I'll bet you wouldn't subscribe to that theory if you happened to be a mother to only boys.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In my case it’s true. We see my parents at least weekly and they babysit regularly. The kids adore them. My husband’s parents are very hands off and not because of me or my husband.

FIL and his wife live in another state (4 hour flight) and coke to see the kids every few months. When they are in town they’ve never asked to have any alone time with the kids. MIL, who is single and alone, lives a 10 hour drive away and chooses not to move closer as she likes her life as it is - her hobbies, friends, volunteering, and one or two visits with us per year. She sends lots of flowery texts about how much she loves her grandkids and how proud she is of them, and also many packages of toys and clothes. That’s the extent of her participation in their lives.

My mom lives 10 minutes from us and she sees mine for at beast 1-2 hours 1-2 a month and maybe buys a few books and maybe a toy a year (and the toy stays at her house which they never go to). Close doesn't always been participation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your son's you son till he takes a wife but a daughter's your daughter all your life.. yes, it is true

It’s actually not universal.

My brother got married at the age of 38. Do you think he was Mr. Birthday Remember who called often and prioritized family vacations and holidays, and then suddenly ignored us when he took a wife? Uh, no.

He’s always been fairly flaky and useless when it comes to family stuff. If anything, he’s CLOSER to us now, as his wife will remind him of birthdays and have him call to make holiday plans with us after she gets her side squared away.