Issues with a girl name...

[Anonymous]

So we love the names Eloise & Margaret. Both are family names (which is what we've decided to use). Trouble is we don't like the monogram for Margaret Eloise LastName and as much as I would love to call DD Eloise, inevitably it will be shortened to something like Ellie by friends and family. We prefer nicknames for Margaret instead. So do we name her Eloise Margaret and call her by her middle name (yuck) or Margaret Eloise and hate the monogram (and I'm a huge monogram person)?

[Anonymous]

why would one hate a monogram?

[Anonymous]

What would the monogram be? How "huge" is it for you? On a diaper bag? Or on everything she'll own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:why would one hate a monogram?

Sometimes it spells something you wouldn't want on your kid's backpack. RAT. BAD. FAT.
You get the picture.

We have a DD who is called by her middle name. It may be confusing or "yucky", but that's what we wanted. For the monogram issue and because the names flowed better with the name we wanted to call her in the middle position.

[Anonymous]

I think you should go with whatever name you like better, regardless of nickname or monogram. Eloise won't necessarily be shortened to Ellie if you don't want it to be. It's not like it's so long that you it requires a nickname. On the other hand, I don't think I'd reject a name I otherwise liked b/c of a monogram, particularly if only one of first initial-middle initial-last initial (MEN?) OR first initial-last initial-middle initial (MNE?) is undesirable. You can just use the one that doesn't spell the word you don't like (not that you really ever HAVE to use either). Of all of the options, I think naming her one thing and calling her by her middle name just for initial purposes is the most complicated.

[Anonymous]

My DH has a more formal (and family) first name but has always been called by his middle name. I've known him since he was 17 so I've been through all of the adult process where the name may give you issues and he's never had any major issues.

Simply tell her teachers and your family/friends that she will be called Y, but her official name is XYZ if you like the monogram and flow better.

[Anonymous]

Don't name your daughter something and have everyone call her by her middle name. My parents did that with me and it's a pain to deal with your whole life.

[Anonymous]

I know an Eloise who is always called Eloise

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know an Eloise who is always called Eloise

I'd go with this. People will call her by her name. If not, she can asked to be called Eloise.

Signed,

Susan, not Sue

[Anonymous]

I have a close friend who goes by her middle name. It hasn't seemed to bother her. And she always knows if a caller is a friend or telemarketer.

[Anonymous]

My friend who was always called by her middle name hated it and had it officially changed (so her middle name is now her first) when she got married and was changing her last name anyway. It sounds like a hassle to me. I think Eloise is a lovely name.

[Anonymous]

Another poster who goes by her middle name. And from it I learned to NEVER call any of my children by their middle name especially if they have a first name. It confuses people all the time. When I go to the doctor I'm not sure if I should correct them and say, "no, I actually go by my middle name". In college I had the same problem - was the professor calling names just to take roll? Or was the professor calling names to learn his pupil's names?

[Anonymous]

My brother is Andrew--not Andy, not Drew--my Mom always insisted on it. And now no one who knows him would ever consider shortening his name (he truly is an Andrew). I think you can call her Eloise and make it stick. It might take some insistence on your part but you can do it. She might get the thing in high school where her friends want to give her a nickname but that's inevitable, you're right. And by then, she'll just know herself as Eloise and that's probably how she'll address herself.
FWIW, my husband also goes by his middle name and HATES it. He refuses to even consider that an option for our kids because of all the hassles it's brought him.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thanks everyone for your great responses. I shared this with DH and it really helped us!

[Anonymous]

How is being called a middle name any different from being called a nickname?