All adult daughters should read this NYT column

[Anonymous]

https://www.nytimes.com/2018/12/20/well/family/the-power-of-the-little-comment-in-mother-daughter-relationships.html

I found it very spot on. Mother-daughter relationships are the best and the worst of human connection and dynamics. I appreciated the way she articulated this.

"My mother understands me better than anyone, and I crave her approval more than anyone else’s. I could recite her entire value system if I were in a coma. Every meal needs a salad, music is good and sport is suspect, children should learn a stringed instrument, sleeping late is a moral failing. She doesn’t actually need to criticize. She did her job so effectively 30 years ago that now she need only raise an eyebrow and I fill in the blanks on autocomplete."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:https://www.nytimes.com/2018/12/20/well/family/the-power-of-the-little-comment-in-mother-daughter-relationships.html

I found it very spot on. Mother-daughter relationships are the best and the worst of human connection and dynamics. I appreciated the way she articulated this.

"My mother understands me better than anyone, and I crave her approval more than anyone else’s. I could recite her entire value system if I were in a coma. Every meal needs a salad, music is good and sport is suspect, children should learn a stringed instrument, sleeping late is a moral failing. She doesn’t actually need to criticize. She did her job so effectively 30 years ago that now she need only raise an eyebrow and I fill in the blanks on autocomplete."

Was this an Asian mother?

[Anonymous]

Yikes her mum sounds enjoyable to live with and open-minded.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:https://www.nytimes.com/2018/12/20/well/family/the-power-of-the-little-comment-in-mother-daughter-relationships.html

I found it very spot on. Mother-daughter relationships are the best and the worst of human connection and dynamics. I appreciated the way she articulated this.

"My mother understands me better than anyone, and I crave her approval more than anyone else’s. I could recite her entire value system if I were in a coma. Every meal needs a salad, music is good and sport is suspect, children should learn a stringed instrument, sleeping late is a moral failing. She doesn’t actually need to criticize. She did her job so effectively 30 years ago that now she need only raise an eyebrow and I fill in the blanks on autocomplete."

Was this an Asian mother?

Feel free to actually read the column. The author is Ruth Whippman so I am guessing no.

[Anonymous]

Nope, sorry. I'm an adult daughter and I don't need to read such whiny drivel. I'm grown and I know to take the good, leave the bad, make my own decisions, and keep it moving.

[Anonymous]

Wow. I don't relate to this at ALL. I am in my early/mid 30's and haven't spoken with my mother since I was 16. She's never met my children and wasn't invited to my wedding. She definitely doesn't know me at all.

Also, I disagree that all adult daughters should read this - not all adult daughters are mothers, seeking THEIR mother's approval.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow. I don't relate to this at ALL. I am in my early/mid 30's and haven't spoken with my mother since I was 16. She's never met my children and wasn't invited to my wedding. She definitely doesn't know me at all.

Also, I disagree that all adult daughters should read this - not all adult daughters are mothers, seeking THEIR mother's approval.

I would think you have an unusual relationship with your mother. Most mothers and daughters have some type of verbal relationship.

[Anonymous]

I have a super close relationship with my mom. And a super close relationship with both of my adult daughters. Likely because the relationships are the opposite of what is described in this article.

[Anonymous]

The mom sounds horrible. The daughter needs counseling to learn self confidence and good boundaries.

[Anonymous]

I made it this far and realized it doesn’t apply to me or my mother. I’d cut off a person like this decades ago: “Both loving and barbed, it uses a kind of weaponized casualness to criticize, but with complete plausible deniability.”

[Anonymous]

i thought it was rather sweet -- the daughter actually admires the way her mother raised her and wishes she could do as well with her own three children.

i think parenting is more difficult now, so the author should give herself a break.

As for myself, yes, mothers do have a way of quietly communicating disapproval, and, yes, sometimes it hurts, but, I'm not overly sensitive.

[Anonymous]

My mother is the same way but the little comments are incredibly toxic. I don’t understand how the author can romanticize it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:https://www.nytimes.com/2018/12/20/well/family/the-power-of-the-little-comment-in-mother-daughter-relationships.html

I found it very spot on. Mother-daughter relationships are the best and the worst of human connection and dynamics. I appreciated the way she articulated this.

"My mother understands me better than anyone, and I crave her approval more than anyone else’s. I could recite her entire value system if I were in a coma. Every meal needs a salad, music is good and sport is suspect, children should learn a stringed instrument, sleeping late is a moral failing. She doesn’t actually need to criticize. She did her job so effectively 30 years ago that now she need only raise an eyebrow and I fill in the blanks on autocomplete."

Was this an Asian mother?

Not but you’re a racist!

[Anonymous]

I can't take this lady seriously because she named her kids Solly and Zeph.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:https://www.nytimes.com/2018/12/20/well/family/the-power-of-the-little-comment-in-mother-daughter-relationships.html

I found it very spot on. Mother-daughter relationships are the best and the worst of human connection and dynamics. I appreciated the way she articulated this.

"My mother understands me better than anyone, and I crave her approval more than anyone else’s. I could recite her entire value system if I were in a coma. Every meal needs a salad, music is good and sport is suspect, children should learn a stringed instrument, sleeping late is a moral failing. She doesn’t actually need to criticize. She did her job so effectively 30 years ago that now she need only raise an eyebrow and I fill in the blanks on autocomplete."

Was this an Asian mother?

Not but you’re a racist!

Nope