Did the bisexual thing pass?

[Anonymous]

(This being DCUM, I expect posts about how dare I treat it like a phase, a negative thing, whatever else. I really don’t care. Go ahead and skip this post then.)

17 yr DD never showed any leaning toward anything other than being straight until a year or so ago. Now claims to be bi. I know it’s strangely a trendy thing now.

Has your daughter had this pass and is back to being straight?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:(This being DCUM, I expect posts about how dare I treat it like a phase, a negative thing, whatever else. I really don’t care. Go ahead and skip this post then.)

17 yr DD never showed any leaning toward anything other than being straight until a year or so ago. Now claims to be bi. I know it’s strangely a trendy thing now.

Has your daughter had this pass and is back to being straight?

Mine revised and now identifies as lesbian.

[Anonymous]

I don't know if it's a phase or what, but something similar happened to my daughter. She has typically been gaga for boys, then she was horribly wronged this summer and sought solace among her theater friends and now seems to prefers girls. Regardless who she likes, I just want to be sure she's in a healthy relationship.

[Anonymous]

Nope, my daughter has continued to identify as bi but seems to date exclusively women.

[Anonymous]

My parents only ever knew I dated men and that I married a man. I came out to bi to them a few months ago at 33 (yes, my husband's known since we started dating). So just because you haven't seen her show interest in girls doesn't mean she hasn't...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My parents only ever knew I dated men and that I married a man. I came out to bi to them a few months ago at 33 (yes, my husband's known since we started dating). So just because you haven't seen her show interest in girls doesn't mean she hasn't...

PP here -- wanted to add, at least she trusted you enough to tell you. As I said, I waited until I was 33 to share that part of my life with my parents for many reasons, but mostly because I was scared of what their reaction would be. I only told them now because 1) they might find out anyway (I've been talking about it more publicly of late) and 2) I'm self sufficient and if they wanted to not talk to me because of it, it wouldn't matter.

So, just support her and don't worry about whether she's going to "revert." That's exactly why people don't tell their parents.

[Anonymous]

My daughter also identifies as bi but has almost entirely dated girls. When she tried dating boys, the relationships were very tepid. She doesn't want to close off her options, but it is clear that she is much more into dating girls- at least for the moment. FWIW, I couldn't care less. I want her to be happy and in a health relationship no matter who she's dating.

[Anonymous]

Our DD started as gay, then said she was bi. A teen. Several of her friends in similar situations.

I find it funny that my generation fought hard to not be labeled/put in a box, and her generation wants labels, no matter how varied/often they change the label.

I believe that for this particular group of girls, this too shall pass.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parents only ever knew I dated men and that I married a man. I came out to bi to them a few months ago at 33 (yes, my husband's known since we started dating). So just because you haven't seen her show interest in girls doesn't mean she hasn't...

PP here -- wanted to add, at least she trusted you enough to tell you. As I said, I waited until I was 33 to share that part of my life with my parents for many reasons, but mostly because I was scared of what their reaction would be. I only told them now because 1) they might find out anyway (I've been talking about it more publicly of late) and 2) I'm self sufficient and if they wanted to not talk to me because of it, it wouldn't matter.

So, just support her and don't worry about whether she's going to "revert." That's exactly why people don't tell their parents.

How is it relevant if you are married to a man now though? I don’t get it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parents only ever knew I dated men and that I married a man. I came out to bi to them a few months ago at 33 (yes, my husband's known since we started dating). So just because you haven't seen her show interest in girls doesn't mean she hasn't...

PP here -- wanted to add, at least she trusted you enough to tell you. As I said, I waited until I was 33 to share that part of my life with my parents for many reasons, but mostly because I was scared of what their reaction would be. I only told them now because 1) they might find out anyway (I've been talking about it more publicly of late) and 2) I'm self sufficient and if they wanted to not talk to me because of it, it wouldn't matter.

So, just support her and don't worry about whether she's going to "revert." That's exactly why people don't tell their parents.

How is it relevant if you are married to a man now though? I don’t get it.

Being married to a man doesn't change who I'm attracted to our how I identify. I also do a fair amount of working with and for the LGBT community and not being fully "out" was a problem for that... Also, the fact that bi folks can pass as straight (or alternatively, as gay) is really bad for the community and leads folks to assume bi folks don't exist.

[Anonymous]

Not a parent, but I (male) realized I was bi at about 11 years old, I came out to my parents at 16 and it wasn't a problem for them at all.

[Anonymous]

I think the leading theory is there is a spectrum of sexuality and only a small amount of people are 100% hetero or homosexual. Yes, it is more acceptable to come out as bi so I think those who fall closer to the middle of the spectrum may feel more comfortable coming out. They may chose to be heterosexual and live a heterosexual life in the future or not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: I think the leading theory is there is a spectrum of sexuality and only a small amount of people are 100% hetero or homosexual. Yes, it is more acceptable to come out as bi so I think those who fall closer to the middle of the spectrum may feel more comfortable coming out. They may chose to be heterosexual and live a heterosexual life in the future or not.

Just want to make sure I was clear. I think people are born say homosexual or more toward that end of the spectrum. I do think those in the bi area have more choice than those who are born totally homosexual or totally heterosexual.

[Anonymous]

As a bi person who came to terms with my attraction to women at 12/13, I'll say this:

Societally, I've found it to be much easier to date guys, so that's what I do. I'm still attracted to women but hate being bi because lesbians hate us and the script is much murkier. So, your kid may be bi but society discourages this identification, so may "choose" a side.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: I think the leading theory is there is a spectrum of sexuality and only a small amount of people are 100% hetero or homosexual. Yes, it is more acceptable to come out as bi so I think those who fall closer to the middle of the spectrum may feel more comfortable coming out. They may chose to be heterosexual and live a heterosexual life in the future or not.

Just want to make sure I was clear. I think people are born say homosexual or more toward that end of the spectrum. I do think those in the bi area have more choice than those who are born totally homosexual or totally heterosexual.

The obvious benefit is that it increases the likelihood of a willing sexual partner.