Family size fight

[Anonymous]

DH never wants a child ( I don't agree with him at all) when we get married, after a lot of negotiation & compromise, we do have a lovely 3 year old DD. Over holiday, BIL (DH's brother) announces they are expecting a second baby, and since then, family keeps asking us if we are planning to have another one. I really do, and I think family of 4 is a perfect size. DH has been ignoring my request and does not want to compromise this time. He says it will affect his early retirement plan and we do earn decent salaries 250k to 300k. I am super upset & jealous at the same time, and also get annoyed from family member keep asking. I begged a lot last time to have our lovely DD, and he loves her to the moon and star even though he was super shocked & scared at the beginning. Anything I can do?

[Anonymous]

Anything you can do?
Believe your husband when he says he does not want another child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Anything you can do?
Believe your husband when he says he does not want another child.

Agree.

I know another family in this situation and it's been really difficult.

[Anonymous]

You married a person expecting to change him. He gave into your pestering, and now you want to change him even more. You're the one with the issue.

[Anonymous]

Anything you can do? Umm rape him? Wtf kind of advice do you want?

[Anonymous]

Your fault for marrying someone who doesn’t want kids. Best option is to divorce and find someone who wants a bigger family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You married a person expecting to change him. He gave into your pestering, and now you want to change him even more. You're the one with the issue.

Come on - he sounds strangely fixated on his retirement funding. He could use some changing.

[Anonymous]

The person who says "no" wins.
You had an agreement when you married.
Do not have a second child.

[Anonymous]

Listen to your husband. You already beat him down once, I wouldn't expect to do it again. Why on earth you married someone who said they didn't want kids when you did is beyond me.

[Anonymous]

Why don’t you mention to your in law family that it is DH who doesn’t want anymore kids. This way they can stop asking you and direct their questions to him.

[Anonymous]

Go see a therapist to come to terms with the fact that you will not have another child. That and time will help.

-Been there

[Anonymous]

OP, when do you think it’s your turn to do some compromising in your marriage? You married a man that you knew didn’t want to have children, and then pressured him into having a child anyway. He compromised on the family issue so you could have a child, I think it’s your turn to compromise and give in on not having another.

[Anonymous]

The standard advice is that the person who wants fewer kids usually wins.

We have three and I really want a fourth. My husband doesn't though so we won't be having another. It really sucks.

[Anonymous]

He doesn't want another kid and you knew before you married him that he didn't want children. You conned him into having one so count your blessings. Stop badgering him!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why don’t you mention to your in law family that it is DH who doesn’t want anymore kids. This way they can stop asking you and direct their questions to him.

Better still, tell them it is none of their business!