Family size fight

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:YOLO...is this what you want? It’s hard to know. I’ve been there OP. DH was on the fence “ok”’with one, but he knew I wanted a “big family” when we were dating. So, it’s really not fair to say that it’s all on me to compromise. He had a very rocky start with entry to fatherhood. I was right where you are now, of family members asking when, when other family who had their first after us, already had their second. I did have jealous thoughts. I even posted a thread or two on here about it all as I was working through different stages.

I highly recommend counseling for yourself to get to the root of what is going on for you. For how to better talk to DH about this marriage issue. (Not to convince him.) You deserve to also be heard and validated in your thoughts on the matter and the place you are currently in sounds like a stand off. That isn’t a happy or healthy place for your marriage to be.

We genuinely had an “oops”’baby six years after the first. It was important to me to have his “buy in” to the pregnancy and may have broken our marriage if he had said no. We had really hard thoughtful conversations about it, and once he was in, he was able to be all in. We revisited his own fears and failings and mine too from the first go around and now we are both so in love with our second child. He still maintains that he doesn’t want any more and is eventually going to get a vasectomy. But we are both happy for the family we have.

I share to give an example of one family working through it. Good luck to you. [/quote

He made his feelings clear from the beginning. You could've ended the relationship and found someone else who also wanted a big family. You chose to stay, so it was all on you to compromise.

[Anonymous]

OP, did your DH know you wanted children when you married him?

[Anonymous]

Stop it OP. He gave in to your demand for one child. YOU are being selfish. Enjoy your daughter and husband and grow up.
Having kids is not a requirement or obligation of anyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He doesn't want another kid and you knew before you married him that he didn't want children. You conned him into having one so count your blessings. Stop badgering him!

This, or end up divorced.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, did your DH know you wanted children when you married him?

She said she knew he didn't want kids. She already conned him into one.

[Anonymous]

This is an either parent veto issue. You need to come to terms with it or divorce.

[Anonymous]

Don't your DH's opinions also deserve some respect? He was upfront with you when you married. If he gives in now and BIL announces a third baby will you again start pestering him?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, when do you think it’s your turn to do some compromising in your marriage? You married a man that you knew didn’t want to have children, and then pressured him into having a child anyway. He compromised on the family issue so you could have a child, I think it’s your turn to compromise and give in on not having another.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, when do you think it’s your turn to do some compromising in your marriage? You married a man that you knew didn’t want to have children, and then pressured him into having a child anyway. He compromised on the family issue so you could have a child, I think it’s your turn to compromise and give in on not having another.

+1

This. OP sounds immature and selfish.