Public Piano Etiquette
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Anonymous
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The very definition of a first world problem, but I'm curious about different opinions. We are a very musical family, all piano players, so, playing piano is an activity we really enjoy. A few uncomfortable situations have come up recently, I tend to usually be a really polite, socially accommodating person, so I'm curioius if we were out of line.
First - in a large spa-type resort. The place is huge with tons of rooms and areas, both indoors and out, for people to sit and relax as well as perform various other activities such as swim, workout, run, etc. One of these rooms in the main lodge has a piano. I asked when we checked in and was told the piano was for guests to play. And, in fact, it is stocked with a large variety of sheet music. However, both times I went to play, there were other people in the room. The first time when I sat down, the people there really abruptly told me to leave. The second time, the person there, drinking a cup of coffee, reluctantly said I could play a song or two. My mother, there with us, said piano playing was disruptive, and the space was first come/first serve. I get that. But, on the other hand, there are literally dozens of quiet spaces to sit and relax or have a conversation, and only one for piano. I feel like if the resort has a dedicated space for a sanctioned activity, you shouldn't prevent another guest from partaking in that activity, and, by sitting there, you are agreeing to have that activity occur in your vicinity. I couldn't imagine, for example, telling someone not to use a treadmill because you got to the gym first and want to read a magazine in peace. Second - play me pianos. My kid loves these. She's quite a good player for 10. I always allow to to play one or two pieces, not more than 5 or 6 minutes before we move on. If you've never seen these pianos, they are put up in public spaces and literally say "play me." We've never actually gotten push back or dirty looks, but the first instance made me wonder if it's rude to actually play if there are other people in the vicinity. There's one in a restaurant we go to, and she loves that. Obviously that space is never empty, and people are trying to enjoy a meal (it's a fast casual type place), but the restaurant put it there. She's playing actual, good quality, classical music, so there's nothing objectively objectionable, but a piano is still pretty loud. I have a feeling I'm going to get slammed here. But I guess I asked for it! |
Anonymous
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We don't move in the same circles so take what I say FWIW - play the damn piano. Tell others to F off if they don't like it. If it's put there for use - use it. Case closed. Who asked you to leave? Other patrons?! Bwahahahaha. I would have just flat out said no. You don't need anyone's permission if the resort placed it there for public play.
Same goes with your DD - if it says "play me" - that's what it means. Stand up for yourself - or sit down in this case. People are jerks. |
Anonymous
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I personally would enjoy it. If I don't care for the type of music played or the skill of the player I would get up and leave.
However, since the first incident took place in a spa, I wonder if the patrons there think it should be quiet and peaceful at all times. It's still very rude of them to tell you to leave, but it is a different place than a restaurant or public area with a play me piano. In the latter case, play to your heart's content (well, maybe not, if someone else wants a turn at it). |
Anonymous
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If it says "play me" then play it.
If it doesn't say "play me" i'd ask the spa/resort/hotel people what the policy is. I've been to hospitals that have "play me" pianos in the lobby, it's quite nice. |
Anonymous
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That's so bizarre. If someone was banging keys, I might ask them to stop, but playing actual melodic music? The nerve of some people. It's music.
One of my favorite memories with my Mom is her visiting me during Mom's weekend at college. We got a few drinks at my favorite watering hole and headed over to the student union around 10 PM. A student was playing the piano in the ballroom. We sat there for over an hour and just talked while he played. She said, "Oh my gosh. Do you do this every weekend? It's just wonderful!" Um...oh sure, Mom. That's exactly what your baby girl does every weekend at college. |
Anonymous
This. If the resort staff told you that the piano was for guests, then it's for guests, and it's fine to play. Ditto for the "play me" pianos. |
Anonymous
| I also play the piano, and I would have played away. |
Anonymous
| I wonder if the spa people thought you were a worker of some kind. I can’t imagine someone not liking good piano playing. I’m with 16-23. They can F off. |
Anonymous
+1 we had a similar experience at a large NE family resort last year when our family invaded the classical games room (cards and board games only) to play said games. Older woman was apparently claiming the entire room for a conversation with her two adult children. The old grumpy lady spoke loudly about our invasion. Her kids were mortified and tried to get her out of there. Resort areas are intended to be used as indicated and shared openly. I’d also love listening to your child play at that casual restaurant. |
Anonymous
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I'm on your side and think it's ok to play the piano. By sitting in a room with a publicly-available piano, others are potentially subjecting themselves. If they don't want to hear it, they should be the ones to relocate. You could have told them that the resort management said it was ok for you to play.
Not sure what a "play me" piano is, but I'd follow directions and play it! What kinds of pieces is your DD playing? If it's "Hop Frog Hop" or some such, that's not so pleasing. If it's a real piece of music, that's better! 
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Anonymous
| I'd probably roll my eyes a bit if the person playing was not actually that good or it just seemed like they were there to show off, but a piano in a public place that says play me (or you've been told is to be played), is fair game for playing, whether anyone else is sitting there or not. |
Anonymous
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OP here. Wow! Not the reaction I expected. I think the problem at the resort (not the sort of circles I usually run with either... we were guests of my mom) was that it was full of extremely wealthy, extremely used to being catered to people. It was not the only entitled behavior I saw... just the only directed at me. It was a really lovely grand piano, and I never saw anyone else playing it the entire week. I’m guessing people, who don’t ask, just consider it decorative.
As far as play me pianos, they are awesome! Here are some examples: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Street_piano There are several “play me, I’m yours” pianos local to us, and we’ve played the one in the Rome airport as well. My kid is playing actual classical music, I promise. She’s no prodigy, but she’s not unpleasant for 5-10 minutes. |
Anonymous
| The music would likely annoy me if I was somewhere having a conversation. But if it says 'play me' or that was the norm where I was, then I would fully recognize that it's your right to play and not blame you. |
Anonymous
| It’s your right and go ahead and play it is there. Personally, I would find it annoying in a spa and think you were looking for attention BUT I’m not musical and don’t play any instrument for enjoyment. I’d never say anything or make any type of face. I’d quietly leave and go elsewhere if I was looking for a quiet spa environment. You have as much to be there and enjoy the amenities as I do. |
Anonymous
| So, you looked for attention by playing the piano which not everyone finds relaxing, some annoying and when that wasn't enough attention, you post here. Play at home. |