Public Piano Etiquette

[Anonymous]

If you are a good piano player, then it's fine.

[Anonymous]

I agree with the you sound like you're looking for attention pp. I like hearing most people play music in random places.

Something about what you do sounds off putting. Not because of the music, because of your nature.

You sound annoying. And no one cares how good your daughter is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I wouldn’t expect people to move. But, I would expect that if you choose to sit in the room with the piano meant for guests to play (as there are literally dozens of other options) you shouldn’t be put out when people play it. I guess if I sat in the bagpipe area (at the highland game?) Id have to deal with people bringing their pipes. Otherwise I’m not sure the analogy holds. Again, it’s a lovely type of leasure equipment provided by the resort for use of guests. I guess I’m not seeing the real difference between this and my treadmill example.

But, I did come here for different opinions!

Nobody decorates a room with a treadmill. Plenty of people decorate a room with a piano, especially a nice one. It creates a certain look and feel. Bonus points that it's probably used for functions and they don't need to move it in and out of the room where they want it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I wouldn’t expect people to move. But, I would expect that if you choose to sit in the room with the piano meant for guests to play (as there are literally dozens of other options) you shouldn’t be put out when people play it. I guess if I sat in the bagpipe area (at the highland game?) Id have to deal with people bringing their pipes. Otherwise I’m not sure the analogy holds. Again, it’s a lovely type of leasure equipment provided by the resort for use of guests. I guess I’m not seeing the real difference between this and my treadmill example.

But, I did come here for different opinions!

Nobody decorates a room with a treadmill. Plenty of people decorate a room with a piano, especially a nice one. It creates a certain look and feel. Bonus points that it's probably used for functions and they don't need to move it in and out of the room where they want it.

And your example was "telling someone not to use the treadmill at the gym because you got there first and want to read a magazine in peace" but a gym is designed for people to work out, whereas a main lodge room at a hotel is designed for people to relax and mingle and socialize, i.e. talk together, maybe have a couple of drinks.

It's different if it's a small room with a piano and a couple other instruments and there's a sign on the door saying "music room". And if people came to the hotel for that music room and the chance to play there. Then your analogy would hold, but otherwise it isn't remotely the same thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I wouldn’t expect people to move. But, I would expect that if you choose to sit in the room with the piano meant for guests to play (as there are literally dozens of other options) you shouldn’t be put out when people play it. I guess if I sat in the bagpipe area (at the highland game?) Id have to deal with people bringing their pipes. Otherwise I’m not sure the analogy holds. Again, it’s a lovely type of leasure equipment provided by the resort for use of guests. I guess I’m not seeing the real difference between this and my treadmill example.

But, I did come here for different opinions!

You were told they didn't want to hear you play and just relax in quiet and you choose to play anyway. Great example you are setting for your child. They were using the room first. You wait till they leave.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree with the you sound like you're looking for attention pp. I like hearing most people play music in random places.

Something about what you do sounds off putting. Not because of the music, because of your nature.

You sound annoying. And no one cares how good your daughter is.

Fair point. I am kind of annoying. I’m diagnosed mildly on the spectrum which is one reason, I think I found it so disconcerting when I went out of my way to ask about the piano “rules” and had such a bad response to trying to follow them.

To be fair though, this isn’t something i do. It happened once. Normally, I just play at home. And I didn’t keep playing, i stopped immediately and left.

Now, my daughter on the play me’s is more regular.... which is one of the reasons I wanted to get different reactions since I want to manage that well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with the you sound like you're looking for attention pp. I like hearing most people play music in random places.

Something about what you do sounds off putting. Not because of the music, because of your nature.

You sound annoying. And no one cares how good your daughter is.

Fair point. I am kind of annoying. I’m diagnosed mildly on the spectrum which is one reason, I think I found it so disconcerting when I went out of my way to ask about the piano “rules” and had such a bad response to trying to follow them.

To be fair though, this isn’t something i do. It happened once. Normally, I just play at home. And I didn’t keep playing, i stopped immediately and left.

Now, my daughter on the play me’s is more regular.... which is one of the reasons I wanted to get different reactions since I want to manage that well.

If you're on the spectrum then you might not appreciate the value that most of us find in sitting around relaxing and socializing quietly with people while we're on vacation.

[Anonymous]

OP again, to be precise it happened on one vacation. First instance, went into room, sat at piano, was told to leave, left. Second instance, asked guy first if piano playing was ok, was told he supposed so for 5 minutes. I played one song and left.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think this thread is making the fundamental problem clear: people who don’t play the piano don’t understand any reason for it other than seeking attention. They don’t get that you find it relaxing the way that other people enjoy playing candy crush or sitting in a hot tub.

I’m sure there are some scenarios where you shouldn’t play piano in public, but I think you and your daughter are right to play in the situations you describe.

But if OP is the only one who finds it relaxing then that means it is intrusive and NOT relaxing for everyone else. I think this is when you ignore whatever signage that is there and wait until you are in the privacy of your own home to play.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I wouldn’t expect people to move. But, I would expect that if you choose to sit in the room with the piano meant for guests to play (as there are literally dozens of other options) you shouldn’t be put out when people play it. I guess if I sat in the bagpipe area (at the highland game?) Id have to deal with people bringing their pipes. Otherwise I’m not sure the analogy holds. Again, it’s a lovely type of leasure equipment provided by the resort for use of guests. I guess I’m not seeing the real difference between this and my treadmill example.

But, I did come here for different opinions!

Nobody decorates a room with a treadmill. Plenty of people decorate a room with a piano, especially a nice one. It creates a certain look and feel. Bonus points that it's probably used for functions and they don't need to move it in and out of the room where they want it.

This. No one sat in the room because there was a piano. They sat in the room because it was a room and the fact that there was a piano there was incidental. I probably would have moved or left the room.

I love music but if I was there for quiet conversation then I would have found the random music to be bothersome. It is different if I'm at some mall walking around and there is someone seated at a piano playing it. Then I have a choice to just not go to that area. But if I'm already seated and then some random person walks in and plays some random music then that would be a bother and I would leave.

[Anonymous]

Next time bring a keyboard and headphones.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Fair point. I am kind of annoying. I’m diagnosed mildly on the spectrum which is one reason, I think I found it so disconcerting when I went out of my way to ask about the piano “rules” and had such a bad response to trying to follow them.

There are rules, and then there are conventions. Since no one else was playing piano at that resort, I can conclude that the piano is technically available for playing (according to the rules of the place), but in reality is not played (according to the conventions of that clientele).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Good to you or good as in she’d be invited to play for the Queen?

I enjoy the piano I play, but I don’t want to hear a “ good for her age” when I’m out to dinner or in a spa.

If there's a piano there to be played, then you need to suck it up or go elsewhere. I detest the guys my local Potbelly brings in on Fridays, but I recognized that they are there making (loud and ill-sung) music they enjoy, and if I don't want to subject myself to it, I don't have to buy a sandwich there.

As for the resort, I've never been to one, or a spa, etc. But OP, if the piano is there and you were told you could play, then you should have stayed and played. Let them leave. And the idea that they might have been extra rude because they thought you were the help and not a guest is even grosser than if they were rude to another guest. F them. Play away next time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with the you sound like you're looking for attention pp. I like hearing most people play music in random places.

Something about what you do sounds off putting. Not because of the music, because of your nature.

You sound annoying. And no one cares how good your daughter is.

Fair point. I am kind of annoying. I’m diagnosed mildly on the spectrum which is one reason, I think I found it so disconcerting when I went out of my way to ask about the piano “rules” and had such a bad response to trying to follow them.

To be fair though, this isn’t something i do. It happened once. Normally, I just play at home. And I didn’t keep playing, i stopped immediately and left.

Now, my daughter on the play me’s is more regular.... which is one of the reasons I wanted to get different reactions since I want to manage that well.

If you're on the spectrum then you might not appreciate the value that most of us find in sitting around relaxing and socializing quietly with people while we're on vacation.

What a nasty comment.

If you're not musical you might not appreciate the value that those of us who are find in hearing others play.

This isn't like someone bringing an instrument to a spa. The piano is already there. And they said she could use it. They could as easily have said she couldn't. If you're sitting on a bench outside and someone comes and sits next to you and starts smoking, do you tell them to stop, or do you get up and move to another bench so you can each relax in your own way? I would do the latter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with the you sound like you're looking for attention pp. I like hearing most people play music in random places.

Something about what you do sounds off putting. Not because of the music, because of your nature.

You sound annoying. And no one cares how good your daughter is.

Fair point. I am kind of annoying. I’m diagnosed mildly on the spectrum which is one reason, I think I found it so disconcerting when I went out of my way to ask about the piano “rules” and had such a bad response to trying to follow them.

To be fair though, this isn’t something i do. It happened once. Normally, I just play at home. And I didn’t keep playing, i stopped immediately and left.

Now, my daughter on the play me’s is more regular.... which is one of the reasons I wanted to get different reactions since I want to manage that well.

If you're on the spectrum then you might not appreciate the value that most of us find in sitting around relaxing and socializing quietly with people while we're on vacation.

What a nasty comment.

If you're not musical you might not appreciate the value that those of us who are find in hearing others play.

This isn't like someone bringing an instrument to a spa. The piano is already there. And they said she could use it. They could as easily have said she couldn't. If you're sitting on a bench outside and someone comes and sits next to you and starts smoking, do you tell them to stop, or do you get up and move to another bench so you can each relax in your own way? I would do the latter.

OP here. That’s kind of funny. I didn’t read it as nasty, just likely quite true. Anyhow, I think the convention vs rule poster summed it up about perfectly. Since the “play me’s” are played regularly, I’m going to keep allowing my daughter (who will never play for the Queen, but, IMO plays a mean Minute Waltz) to continue utilizing them for short periods of play. As far as the spa/resort, it has been nice to see the mixed responses, as I don’t feel I wa completely out of line, but, I shall refrain in the future.