Request DC metro records?

[Anonymous]

My soon to be ex wife and I are currently in a custody dispute. My daughter is 4 years old and I have picked her up and taken her to day care every day the last 4 years. My ex works nearly 10-12 hours a day in DC. She leaves at 6 and comes home around 7 (metro commute is close to an hour).

She wants to split time but won't say how she will do it. She is saying she will leave work early, but I don't get how this can be as she never had before despite the toll it took on me. She is lying to the judge and saying she only works 8-9 hour days. The judge requested a copy of her metro records as they are available upon request. I already submitted the day care records that show I pick my daughter up and off every day.

My lawyer thinks I have a good chance at having majority custody, but I just worry. Have any of you experienced this before? Do you think my odds are good?

[Anonymous]

Her lawyer will have to abide by the judge's request. If she has lied that will be the proof. But that doesn't mean that she won't get 50/50.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Her lawyer will have to abide by the judge's request. If she has lied that will be the proof. But that doesn't mean that she won't get 50/50.

+1 But could she argue that she has worked those hours to earn 75% of HHI and that it was an agreement that you had with her? She would make the money and you would handle drop off and pick up.

[Anonymous]

Have her start now picking up and dropping off daughter twice a week and see how she does it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Her lawyer will have to abide by the judge's request. If she has lied that will be the proof. But that doesn't mean that she won't get 50/50.

+1 But could she argue that she has worked those hours to earn 75% of HHI and that it was an agreement that you had with her? She would make the money and you would handle drop off and pick up.

She makes a couple thousand more but we're pretty much 50/50. My job is more flexible than hers.

[Anonymous]

She can have a babysitter during her 50% time. Why are you being an a$$ about that? Your daughter is presumably bonded to her equally if not more than you and deserves time with her mother.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: My soon to be ex wife and I are currently in a custody dispute. My daughter is 4 years old and I have picked her up and taken her to day care every day the last 4 years. My ex works nearly 10-12 hours a day in DC. She leaves at 6 and comes home around 7 (metro commute is close to an hour).

She wants to split time but won't say how she will do it. She is saying she will leave work early, but I don't get how this can be as she never had before despite the toll it took on me. She is lying to the judge and saying she only works 8-9 hour days. The judge requested a copy of her metro records as they are available upon request. I already submitted the day care records that show I pick my daughter up and off every day.

My lawyer thinks I have a good chance at having majority custody, but I just worry. Have any of you experienced this before? Do you think my odds are good?

She just said how she'd do it. She'd cut back on hours. Do you realize how many mothers on this board have posted how their husbands didn't step up in marriage, and why would they now? Who cares. Why wouldn't you give her the chance for equal custody with her child? Is there abuse, neglect?

[Anonymous]

If she works 12 hours a day, she isn't really doing much mothering, is she? I wouldn't give her 50/50, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She can have a babysitter during her 50% time. Why are you being an a$$ about that? Your daughter is presumably bonded to her equally if not more than you and deserves time with her mother.

Classic DCUM. If the genders were reversed, OP would have droves of DCUMers telling her to demand full custody because her DH is incapable to having anything close to 50%, much less 25%. And no, do not assume the DD has bonded more with the mom - what if the DD has bonded more with the DH?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If she works 12 hours a day, she isn't really doing much mothering, is she? I wouldn't give her 50/50, OP.

-1

Reverse the genders and you'd be saying how a father is working to provide for his family.

It sucks that she couldn't make compromises when they were married. She should have, and maybe it could have helped prevent them from being divorced. But there are plenty of households where a parent works more during the week, and steps up during weekends.

Way too little information to assume that just because she works a lot of hours, she is in no way mothering her child.

[Anonymous]

Agree with above posters - she doesn't deserve 50/50 and can't even show that she'll be able to do it. Start with major custody and if her job schedule changes to more flexible times, then later on consider 50/50.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She can have a babysitter during her 50% time. Why are you being an a$$ about that? Your daughter is presumably bonded to her equally if not more than you and deserves time with her mother.

Bye Felicia!

[Anonymous]

No. Not "bye Felicia." The parental bond will be assessed. The mom with the tough commute can have a babysitter and her bond with the child will be respected by the court and evaluators. The dad is not in a position to "give" or not. If the mom is seeking at least 50% and there is a bond with her child, the commute is not going to affect it. There is a lot of men's rights / red pill nonsense on DCUM, but the fact is that women are NOT treated fairly in current family law frameworks. Their need to work is used against them in ways that would never happen with the father.

[Anonymous]

Another thing: The fact that the father is seeking "metro records" indicates that he is not a respectful co-parent. If this is indicative of his general approach to co-parenting, he should not have the bulk of custody. He needs to put his child's interests first, including respecting her likely very strong bond with her mother.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Another thing: The fact that the father is seeking "metro records" indicates that he is not a respectful co-parent. If this is indicative of his general approach to co-parenting, he should not have the bulk of custody. He needs to put his child's interests first, including respecting her likely very strong bond with her mother.

I agree with the notion that this is heading to an unamicable divorce, which is unfortunate.

That said, would you be saying the same thing if genders were reversed and the Dad was allegedly lying about his ability to be a 50-50 parent? You do know that some mothers do not have a strong bond with their children, no? OP should push for 50-50 and help his STBXW figure out how they can manage doing it that way. It's in the best interest of the child.