Can people come out as straight?

[Anonymous]

People come out as gay all the time, often from previous straight lives. Does it ever happen in reverse? What would you say if one of your friends you know as gay tells you they think they are actually straight? Would you support them or think they are lying to themselves?

[Anonymous]

Maybe Ani Difranco? I think people who identify as gay or lesbian come out as more flexible than they previously thought, but pretty rare for people to say "I thought I was totally gay, but I'm totally straight." I went to a women's college and know women who were BDOCs who went on to marry men-but I think most of them would say "I met this guy and he's the person I love" rather than "I'd never be attracted to a woman again." I just avoid the whole situation by identifying as queer.

[arlsinmyheart]

One of my best friends dated women for almost 10 years but ended up marrying a man and having two children. Weirds me out! I thought she was wayyyyyy more gay than me.

[Anonymous]

Yes people "switch sides" their bi or fluid... I don't really care what they are as long as they are in a loving or supportive relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe Ani Difranco? I think people who identify as gay or lesbian come out as more flexible than they previously thought, but pretty rare for people to say "I thought I was totally gay, but I'm totally straight." I went to a women's college and know women who were BDOCs who went on to marry men-but I think most of them would say "I met this guy and he's the person I love" rather than "I'd never be attracted to a woman again." I just avoid the whole situation by identifying as queer.

What is a BDOC?

[Anonymous]

arlsinmyheart wrote:One of my best friends dated women for almost 10 years but ended up marrying a man and having two children. Weirds me out! I thought she was wayyyyyy more gay than me.

I also know someone who did this--she had lived with a girlfriend for years and then broke up and married a guy. It's a spectrum.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe Ani Difranco? I think people who identify as gay or lesbian come out as more flexible than they previously thought, but pretty rare for people to say "I thought I was totally gay, but I'm totally straight." I went to a women's college and know women who were BDOCs who went on to marry men-but I think most of them would say "I met this guy and he's the person I love" rather than "I'd never be attracted to a woman again." I just avoid the whole situation by identifying as queer.

What is a BDOC?

This made me smile and think of my college days 30 years ago.
Big Dyke on Campus, a play on the BMOC- Big Man on Campus
Describes someone who is out and about at parties, clubs, events, always involved in relationships, the object of many crushes, etc.

[Anonymous]

Sometimes it's a mental disorder that goes away with therapy or medication

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes it's a mental disorder that goes away with therapy or medication

Are you saying that being gay or bisexual is a mental disorder? It’s not. Take your stupid bigotry elsewhere.

[Anonymous]

My best friend was married to a woman for almost 10 years, then had an affair with a man when she realized she was more straight than bi (I think if she was bi, she would have tried to stay married to the woman). They divorced. It sucked.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes it's a mental disorder that goes away with therapy or medication

Are you saying that being gay or bisexual is a mental disorder? It’s not. Take your stupid bigotry elsewhere.

Since this is the LGBTQ relationship board, let's all assume that pp meant, sometimes people are queer and then they have a head injury or mental illness that makes them think they are straight, but with help they can get back to a healthy queer identity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes it's a mental disorder that goes away with therapy or medication

Are you saying that being gay or bisexual is a mental disorder? It’s not. Take your stupid bigotry elsewhere.

Keyword is sometimes. It's not universal but if someone goes back to being straight it could have been getting bipolar under control or other mentat disease. Don't be stupid

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes it's a mental disorder that goes away with therapy or medication

Are you saying that being gay or bisexual is a mental disorder? It’s not. Take your stupid bigotry elsewhere.

Since this is the LGBTQ relationship board, let's all assume that pp meant, sometimes people are queer and then they have a head injury or mental illness that makes them think they are straight, but with help they can get back to a healthy queer identity.

Thank you. I can live with this assumption.

[Anonymous]

It's missing the point.

While some of us may be feel so assured that our sexual preferences will never change, and therefore think about it in terms of some immutable kind of permanent IDENTITY, I believe as a scientist, that it really is a fluid spectrum, dependent on time and social environment.

So is there really a need to come out, clamor for recognition, etc, when preferences may fluctuate over time? No need to make a big deal about it.

I DO agree we need protections in place for people who are permanently or temporarily non-straight, since society still has structural biases against them.

[Anonymous]

I think it would be met with more skepticism. If someone who was gay for a long time wanted to enter into a relationship with me, I'd be very concerned that I'm being used for breeding purposes and that the relationship would ultimately go sour after kids were born.