Waiting a year for kindergarten/ADHD kid/principal’s suggestion

[Anonymous]

My 5 year old is enrolled in and having a really rough time in kindergarten. He’s been diagnosed with ADHD and more is coming. He’s been seeing developmental ped and various therapists for the past 2 years so we’re on top of things, but public school is a new ball game. So we’re doing the eval process there and starting to work towards getting accommodations.

I met with the principal last week. She’s one of those incredibly in tune and on top of things super woman principals. She works well with parents. After talking with her for some time about my son, we got more casual in our conversation and she started brainstorming with me some about his options. K has been hard for him so far. He’s really unhappy. He has self regulation issues, emotional immaturity and isn’t socially aware even though he desperately wants friends. He’s not advanced academically. She mentioned that if we wanted to we could pull our son out this year and re-enroll him in K next year. Even though he’s a January birthday. There was zero pressure, she just put it out there as an option.
He’s a January birthday, and is 60% percentile height and weight.

So here’s my question, if your ADHD kid is older, would waiting a year have helped? Do you find that the immaturity is prevent throughout. Is this something that I should consider?

[Anonymous]

I did wait a year for my son, though he is an August birthday. It was a great move. Kindergarten was still tough, but a lot better than it would have been. Now he is in upper elementary and we are so thankful we had the opportunity.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn’t hesitate with an August/July kid but January gives me pause.

[Anonymous]

Mine has an April birthday. I held him back. My oldest has a December birthday (end of the month) and I didnt hold him back - minor ADHD bit other issues. I regretted it for his entire school career.

[Anonymous]

I would not hold back a January birthday. Can you swing private school for a year or two instead? Maybe a different environment or some therapy would be better.

[Anonymous]

I would not hold back? I would get a private evaluation and hire an advocate for a better IEP or go to private school. Holding back isn't going to help if he doesn't have the right supports in place.

[Anonymous]

Mine has a February birthday. I did not hold back. We did accommodations through a 504 plan. We did therapy. We also medicated DS or there was no way he would have survived the school year. With our older children we were able to hold off on the medication until they were a few years older and medicated when the grades were suffering.

[Anonymous]

Mine is a November birthday. We did hold back. Best decision we ever made. DS has always gravitated towards kids a year younger than him----ALWAYS. Plus, DS is in a small private, because MOCO said no way would they allow that. They, instead, insisted on putting him in his age appropriate grade even though he would be a year behind academically.

[Anonymous]

Not my DS but one boy we know started public K and his parents pulled him out between MP2 and MP3 and came back the next year to re-do K.
We only knew him the second year and he was a role model student.
Kids can mature a lot in a year. Ours did as well.

[Anonymous]

It is a worthwhile consideration to give you time to get the evaluations done, continue therapy at a better time of day than after public school, and to continue to develop in all areas of skills. If medication is suggested, you can also begin in less pressured and frustrated time for DS. Look for a preschool setting to start right after the holidays or even a well run child care setting with a curriculum. You coukd also consider a half- day program with some tutoring in the prereading skills. If he ends up struggling and unhappy in a coup,e of years, you might end up going private to repeat a year at a much harder time. Public education is paced now and Therevis little time for remediation. If DS needs were just academic, it would be one thing, but you wrote of developmental areas that coukd benefit from a PRE-K setting, which is not offered.

[Anonymous]

Where is he academically?
I do think that a lot can happen maturity wise between 4 and 6 or 7 that can make things much easier. But on the other hand, kids with adhd don’t do well with boredom. So if he is gong to be academically way ahead, holding him back may make things worse. What do your outside professionals say?

[Anonymous]

Also, had an ADHD boy and kindergarten was really rough. He had a December birthday. His big issue was impulsivity. We made it through the year and then medicated for 1st which made a huge difference. Since my child was pretty precocious no one thought holding him back was a great idea and frankly he liked the company of older kids more than his peers or younger kids. However, I know a lot of people who did choose to hold their child back and not a single one has regretted it, especially boys.

[Anonymous]

Can you discuss with the developmental ped and various therapists?

Good luck.

[Anonymous]

I wish we had held back. Now, in third grade, it's too late.

[Anonymous]

Will he feel relieved or like a failure if you pull him out? I think there's a real difference between starting a kid a year late and pulling a kid mid-year, especially if he'll be starting K again in the same building and possibly even with the same teacher in the fall.