How to encourage my DS to change his hair style?

[Anonymous]

I know, I know, he is NOT under my control because he is 25 and has a good job, but I hate his hair style. He currently has a short fade on the side and longer on the top (not as long as a pompadoor). I will see him at Christmas and plan to keep my mouth shut about this. If only he had a current girlfriend who could persuade him. Have you gone through this? I am aware it's not a first world problem.

[Anonymous]

Only positive reinforcement works. Compliment the things you do like, clothes etc. Say nothing about the hair.

[Anonymous]

Maybe he should start telling you what he doesn’t like about your body and/or fashion choices. What would you do?

This is an insane post, OP.

[Anonymous]

If my mom started commenting on what she didn't like about my style, there would be a lot less visits home for the holidays.

Is he self sufficient financially? Then you have no place to comment on his choices.

[Anonymous]

So he has a hard part? It’s in style OP. I bet he looks nice. His girlfriend would probably like it too.

[Anonymous]

Big ole NOPE on this. You can't comment.

[Anonymous]

Sorry, OP, you need to let go of needing to control your son's fashion choices. Not just shutting up, but taking deep breaths and recognizing that this is not under your control and learning to accept it. I know you only want what you think is best for him but this kind of anxiety - even if it is kept secret - can be bad for relationships. Work on letting go of the anxiety.

[Anonymous]

Unless he looks like a White Nationalist don't say anything. You can be a mother without (s)mothering him.

[Anonymous]

Nothing you can, or should, do here, OP. Let it goooooooooo.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Unless he looks like a White Nationalist don't say anything. You can be a mother without (s)mothering him.

Op here. Yes, this is the hair style. I will let it go (like Frozen). Ugh. Thanks to the pp who said compliment the good. Will do! Ho,ho ho.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unless he looks like a White Nationalist don't say anything. You can be a mother without (s)mothering him.

Op here. Yes, this is the hair style. I will let it go (like Frozen). Ugh. Thanks to the pp who said compliment the good. Will do! Ho,ho ho.

Oh darn then. Sadly you still can't say anything. Just don't buy him any white polos or khakis for Christmas.

[Anonymous]

Just say what you’d say to a friend, “what’s up with your hair?”

[Anonymous]

He is almost 30??

He is a grown man OP, not a 15 year old.

I cannot believe this is even a question.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just say what you’d say to a friend, “what’s up with your hair?”

I agree with this, but then again, I have been very candid in that friendly way with my kids since they could talk, and they really listen.

I could actually tell my son, "Man, what is the deal with that ridiculous hair style, you look like a pencil eraser, ha ha!! Let's get that bad boy fixed prooonto!" And kind of slap him on the back, and give him a beer. And he would seriously consider what I was saying. But that's probably a unique relationship I have with my two kids, one boy, one girl.

[Anonymous]

I’ll swap my sons hairstyle with your son’s. My son looks like a gruffier Grizzly Adams.