LOL doll drama

[Anonymous]

Our DD's female schoolmates have been obsessed with these dolls since last spring. Our daughter has never been especially interested in them (she's more a stuffed animal person), but her friends' behavior around the dolls has deeply upset her many times since the craze began and seems to be impacting her self esteem. Several of our daughter's classmates have 30 or more of them (including multiples). The girls bring the dolls everywhere, and they can be quite disruptive. Our daughter was recently at a movie with a group of classmates, and she complained that she missed a large portion of the film because several kids were getting up from their seats and acting out LOL doll drama (which they usually do in baby voices). A group of girls was also regularly bringing the dolls to an afterschool class (where they were supposed to be learning but instead were distracted by the dolls).

The dolls are sometimes used as a measure of popularity ("people like Susie because she has lots of LOL dolls") and exclusiveness ("you can't play with us because you don't have one"). They are also an incentive to hang out with someone ("I'm going for a sleepover at Emma's, and she promised to give me one of her LOL dolls").

Has anyone else had issues with these dolls? Most other parents I have spoken with them don't see the harm in them and have gone out of their way to feed the craze. We keep telling our daughter that the girls will move on soon enough (they are in 3rd grade) and that friends should be valued for something other than the number of dolls they have. I have also tried organizing more activities with boys or with the few girls in her class who aren't into the dolls. Beyond that, I'm not sure what else we can do. Any suggestions?

[Anonymous]

Find different friends?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our DD's female schoolmates have been obsessed with these dolls since last spring. Our daughter has never been especially interested in them (she's more a stuffed animal person), but her friends' behavior around the dolls has deeply upset her many times since the craze began and seems to be impacting her self esteem. Several of our daughter's classmates have 30 or more of them (including multiples). The girls bring the dolls everywhere, and they can be quite disruptive. Our daughter was recently at a movie with a group of classmates, and she complained that she missed a large portion of the film because several kids were getting up from their seats and acting out LOL doll drama (which they usually do in baby voices). A group of girls was also regularly bringing the dolls to an afterschool class (where they were supposed to be learning but instead were distracted by the dolls).

The dolls are sometimes used as a measure of popularity ("people like Susie because she has lots of LOL dolls") and exclusiveness ("you can't play with us because you don't have one"). They are also an incentive to hang out with someone ("I'm going for a sleepover at Emma's, and she promised to give me one of her LOL dolls").

Has anyone else had issues with these dolls? Most other parents I have spoken with them don't see the harm in them and have gone out of their way to feed the craze. We keep telling our daughter that the girls will move on soon enough (they are in 3rd grade) and that friends should be valued for something other than the number of dolls they have. I have also tried organizing more activities with boys or with the few girls in her class who aren't into the dolls. Beyond that, I'm not sure what else we can do. Any suggestions?

My DD is 9 in 4th grade and no, we have never had issues with these dolls. LOL dolls do not seem to be a hit with 4th graders, so your DD's friends will probably be past them soon. DD has seen many such crazes at school and beyond--shopkins, slime, fidget spinners, hatchimals, squishies, American Girl, rainbow looms, etc. Even when she doesn't find the crazes interesting, she has never been upset by them and has been fine about doing her own thing. Also, even the most Shopkins-obsessed girl my DD knew in kindergarten had no problem playing other things when invited over for a playdate when my DD had no interest in Shopkins and suggested they play something else.

I would continue to work with your DD on her confidence and resilience, and remind her that it's okay if people have different interests. I personally don't think you should avoid girls who like LOL dolls when arranging playdates. I'm sure many of them are very lovely and flexible and would be happy to play with other toys if your DD can build the confidence to suggest other activities. After the LOL dolls, there will be some New Awesome Thing that all the kids are obsessed with, and she will have to be able to navigate that world too. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

I would have been pissed if I had paid for a movie and a group of kids were getting up and talking through it. Was there an adult with them?
Agree with the PP that said find new friends. There has to be other kids in the class that are not playing with these dolls, maybe she has more in common with them?
I have a 1st grader who just got invited to her first party. I asked the Mom what the kid would like and she said anything LOl Surprise, I had to look it up as I had no idea what it was, my kid likes Legos and sharks...lol

[Anonymous]

Mom of boys here.

I had to google them.

DANG those things are CREEPY.

Maybe hang out with boys until the craze passes?

[Anonymous]

I also have a 3rd grade girl, and we dealt with this last year with the Shopkins dolls AND LOLs. It was maybe a month into school and her friend group (who have been her friends since PK) had a routine of playing with the Shopkins dolls before school. They'd talk about it at recess (who was bringing what doll, what game they would play, etc.). The teacher banned them in the classroom, but that left before school and aftercare to play with them and lunch and recess to talk about them. DD was upset because she was being excluded due to NOT having Shopkins or LOLs (because they are creepy and expensive).

Honestly? I caved. I bought her a couple of Shopkins dolls and a couple LOLs because it WAS impacting her self esteem and social life. I (in what others may find a helicoptering overreach) also went to school with her one morning and talked to all the girls about how as I could see, there were more than enough dolls for everyone to play with one, so if someone doesn't have a doll one morning, someone else needs to let that person play with one of theirs so that we are not excluding our friends. I told her that for that reason, I'd sent 2 with DD - in case someone else wanted to play but didn't have a doll.

I won't say that they got over it, but it's now midway through 3rd grade and DD hasn't been bringing LOLs and Shopkins to school every day for a while. I guess they are into other stuff now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: I (in what others may find a helicoptering overreach) also went to school with her one morning and talked to all the girls about how as I could see, there were more than enough dolls for everyone to play with one, so if someone doesn't have a doll one morning, someone else needs to let that person play with one of theirs so that we are not excluding our friends. I told her that for that reason, I'd sent 2 with DD - in case someone else wanted to play but didn't have a doll.

Aww, you sound sweet.

[Anonymous]

Mom of boys here.

I had to google them.

DANG those things are CREEPY.

Maybe hang out with boys until the craze passes?

OK, stop. I'm also a mom of boys and I've seen boys exhibit similar behavior with Pokemon/Yu-gi-oh cards. It's not about the dolls or the cards -- there will always be something. It's about the behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Mom of boys here.

I had to google them.

DANG those things are CREEPY.

Maybe hang out with boys until the craze passes?

OK, stop. I'm also a mom of boys and I've seen boys exhibit similar behavior with Pokemon/Yu-gi-oh cards. It's not about the dolls or the cards -- there will always be something. It's about the behavior.

You are reading into this statement too much

The dolls are creepy, really creepy.

Hang out with boys, who are not playing with the creepy dolls.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: I (in what others may find a helicoptering overreach) also went to school with her one morning and talked to all the girls about how as I could see, there were more than enough dolls for everyone to play with one, so if someone doesn't have a doll one morning, someone else needs to let that person play with one of theirs so that we are not excluding our friends. I told her that for that reason, I'd sent 2 with DD - in case someone else wanted to play but didn't have a doll.

Aww, you sound sweet.

+1. Good job!

[Anonymous]

How are they creepy?

[Anonymous]

I realize there will always be other fads, but there is something insidious about the marketing of the LOL dolls that promotes consumerism (and greed) in young girls. The small ones are relatively inexpensive (around $7), and the fact that they are a surprise (you don't know what you are getting until you open it) makes kids want to keep buying them until they get their favorites. There appear to be dozens of options, and girls will spend considerable time going through the little brochures and discussing which ones they like best. Some are labeled as "rare" or "ultra rare" to make them even more attractive. As a parent, I find that creepy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Mom of boys here.

I had to google them.

DANG those things are CREEPY.

Maybe hang out with boys until the craze passes?

OK, stop. I'm also a mom of boys and I've seen boys exhibit similar behavior with Pokemon/Yu-gi-oh cards. It's not about the dolls or the cards -- there will always be something. It's about the behavior.

You are reading into this statement too much

The dolls are creepy, really creepy.

Hang out with boys, who are not playing with the creepy dolls.

I'm the mom of the other 3rd grade LOL girl.

I think the issue here is that the LOLs are social currency for OP's DD's friends and OP's DD just doesn't like them. Maybe she would be fine participating in the marketplace if it was Pokemon cards. Maybe not. Either way, her interests are out of alignment with her friends right now and that sucks for an 8-year-old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

OK, stop. I'm also a mom of boys and I've seen boys exhibit similar behavior with Pokemon/Yu-gi-oh cards. It's not about the dolls or the cards -- there will always be something. It's about the behavior.

I agree, it isn't the doll specifically, it could be anything. It was Cabbage dolls or Barbie when I was a kid. I remember one girl told me she wanted to come to my house to play because I had the Barbie Dreamhouse & RV.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Mom of boys here.

I had to google them.

DANG those things are CREEPY.

Maybe hang out with boys until the craze passes?

OK, stop. I'm also a mom of boys and I've seen boys exhibit similar behavior with Pokemon/Yu-gi-oh cards. It's not about the dolls or the cards -- there will always be something. It's about the behavior.

You are reading into this statement too much

The dolls are creepy, really creepy.

Hang out with boys, who are not playing with the creepy dolls.

Mom of third grade boy. A lot of the boys parents let them play Fortnite, which is inexplicable to me, and that's all they want to do at recess. I'd take creepy dolls over that.