On Activities and Hindsight

[Anonymous]

Looking back, specifically in regard to activities, do you wish you had done something different at the elementary level in regard to your child’s activities outside of school? More activities? Less activities? Specific ones you wish your child had done? Focus on one pursuit earlier? Etc. Basically, what advice would you share with yourself 5-10 years ago.

[Anonymous]

No, not really. They were born to read, do music and stay far away from athletics.

[Anonymous]

I wish my son had stuck with his rec sports teams through middle school as they became a focus of many of friends' social lives. He made a new group of friends in high school but he was lonely for a couple of years in middle school.

If your kid is in a good scout troop or church youth group, etc, keep them in it - it's a good outside activity.

Generally, keep them reading, limit their cell phone/social media/gaming time, give them regular chores to do, and try to eat together regularly.

[Anonymous]

Our original plan was one sport activity, and one other activity and that was it. It didn't work out that way. And, our ADHD son needs to get his physical activity in everyday, for the world to be a better place for him and everyone around him. So he plays two serious sports year-round. The other child is similarly active. I feel like all I am is a chauffeur. But, my kids are happy, pleasant to be around (mostly) and do well in school.

[Anonymous]

DD took piano for 9 yrs starting in K. We could have complained that she wasn't challenged enough in school but instead thought it was our responsibility to find an additional outlet. If it hadn't been piano it could have been most anything else. It happened to be piano because we found a gem of a teacher. So advice would be --- be open to excellence around you, recognize it, be inspired by it, put it to use when it crosses your path.

[Anonymous]

My kid did lots of activities and jumped around to different things. I know they recommend that and in theory it's a nice Idea but most kids are sticking to one thing by 2nd/3rd grade and if I could go back, I would make my child do the same. By middle school, starting a new activity with all the other turmoil that goes along with being that age just doesn't happen and kids are way less willing on taking chances and trying something new to them.

[Anonymous]

Nope. My kids found their way.

[Anonymous]

1. Hired an exec function coach earlier.

2. Hired the jazz piano teacher when our kid was younger than 12. He was much better than the other teacher.

3. Taken parent-child art classes.

4. I couldn't fix this because there weren't programs until too late, but the programs are around now. I'd have started squash classes younger.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD took piano for 9 yrs starting in K. We could have complained that she wasn't challenged enough in school but instead thought it was our responsibility to find an additional outlet. If it hadn't been piano it could have been most anything else. It happened to be piano because we found a gem of a teacher. So advice would be --- be open to excellence around you, recognize it, be inspired by it, put it to use when it crosses your path.

Agree with the bold part above. I think finding a good teacher in an activity can be more important than the activity. A teacher that has the interests of your kids in heart and not just for the paychecks. Our piano teacher also doubles as my parenting coach and I learn a lot from her regarding how to deal with my smart but difficult kids. Whatever activities, stress efforts and learning altitude, rather than participation and/or results. Participation without good learning altitude is a waste of time and money. Of course good learning altitude comes from kids' interests. If they are outright not interested in an activity, then it is hard to inspire good learning altitude.

[Anonymous]

I am very glad we made our kids take music lessons, violin/ piano. it teaches incredible discipline

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1. Hired an exec function coach earlier.

2. Hired the jazz piano teacher when our kid was younger than 12. He was much better than the other teacher.

3. Taken parent-child art classes.

4. I couldn't fix this because there weren't programs until too late, but the programs are around now. I'd have started squash classes younger.

Where do i find an exec function coach?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD took piano for 9 yrs starting in K. We could have complained that she wasn't challenged enough in school but instead thought it was our responsibility to find an additional outlet. If it hadn't been piano it could have been most anything else. It happened to be piano because we found a gem of a teacher. So advice would be --- be open to excellence around you, recognize it, be inspired by it, put it to use when it crosses your path.

Agree with the bold part above. I think finding a good teacher in an activity can be more important than the activity. A teacher that has the interests of your kids in heart and not just for the paychecks. Our piano teacher also doubles as my parenting coach and I learn a lot from her regarding how to deal with my smart but difficult kids. Whatever activities, stress efforts and learning altitude, rather than participation and/or results. Participation without good learning altitude is a waste of time and money. Of course good learning altitude comes from kids' interests. If they are outright not interested in an activity, then it is hard to inspire good learning altitude.

We must have the same piano teacher for our kids. Good piano teachers are the best for smart kids that are bored particularly in elementary school .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. Hired an exec function coach earlier.

2. Hired the jazz piano teacher when our kid was younger than 12. He was much better than the other teacher.

3. Taken parent-child art classes.

4. I couldn't fix this because there weren't programs until too late, but the programs are around now. I'd have started squash classes younger.

Where do i find an exec function coach?

+1

[Anonymous]

1. We would have made the jump from rec to club soccer sooner.

2. We would have started second language lessons sooner.

3. I would have limited other activities to leave more time for free play.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Looking back, specifically in regard to activities, do you wish you had done something different at the elementary level in regard to your child’s activities outside of school? More activities? Less activities? Specific ones you wish your child had done? Focus on one pursuit earlier? Etc. Basically, what advice would you share with yourself 5-10 years ago.

Regret- should have made my son continue with rec. soccer. It would have helped him socially in upper elementary.

Non-regret- my DS asked to start piano lessons at the end of 1st grade. We put him in lessons, and took the plunge to buy a real piano. Now, at twelve, he is still in weekly lessons and we are treated to gorgeous music every single day. (currently, "Angels We Heard on High" and "Ava Maria" for Christmas- just beautiful).

Non-regret- Martial arts for years. DS is not a great fighter because he's not naturally coordinated, but after years of sparring several times per week, he doesn't scare easily.

Non-regret- rec. swim team. Again, DS isn't Michael Phelps, but on average, he's a much better swimmer than most kids his age.