Middle school boys and sports

[Anonymous]

Just a vent to say how hard it is to live in this area and have a kid who loves sports, but who isn’t good enough to make select/travel/high school teams. Seems like there are so few opportunities to keep playing team sports once they hit middle school if they are not on these elite teams. I know we can explore non-team sports (and we will), but it’s really a hit on self-esteem. Any wisdom from parents who have hit this point with their kids is welcome.

[Anonymous]

Which sports? Basketball, soccer and baseball all have rec programs for middle schoolers. Flag football too.

[Anonymous]

My middle schooler does a rec league every season. I would never pay for travel. I have no idea what exists for high school though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My middle schooler does a rec league every season. I would never pay for travel. I have no idea what exists for high school though.

MSI soccer goes through HS. My very non-athletic 13 year old enjoys MSI soccer as do all of his teammates. Most aren't travel league caliber. They just enjoy playing for fun.

[Anonymous]

This area is nuts with the sports. My DS is good at baseball, but could not compete with the kids as most of them had private batting coaches and many private lessons. Also, the coaches scout out the kids in middle school, so if you are not on their radar, you will not make the team in H.S. Just our experience.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Yes, there are rec options for some sports, but many kids have moved on to travel/select so you are left with teams consisting of boys who have never played together and don’t know each other which makes it a lot less fun/successful. It’s great if you have a group of friends who decide to stick with rec, but I don’t think that’s the case for most kids. And baseball pp, I’m with you. It’s completely nuts in this area.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Yes, there are rec options for some sports, but many kids have moved on to travel/select so you are left with teams consisting of boys who have never played together and don’t know each other which makes it a lot less fun/successful. It’s great if you have a group of friends who decide to stick with rec, but I don’t think that’s the case for most kids. And baseball pp, I’m with you. It’s completely nuts in this area.

You're on point. Not a whole lot of options outside of (gasp) meeting new kids to play rec league soccer.

Joking aside, if rec league stuff is not his thing, individual stuff is worth considering - martial arts, etc. How about gymnastics?

The problem you list is a big problem for so many kids in the area. I have a good friend whose son played bball all through middle school in rec/select/travel (full year investments) and when he got to 9th grade to try out for the HS/JV team, over 40 kids tried out (who no doubt also did the same thing with the sport since they were 7 years old). For the kids that did not make the team, they were left with figuring out what to do for the first time in years. Some kids couldn't handle it.

[Anonymous]

Did/Does your son's work ethic match his goals? If not, what did/do you expect? Do you really think it should be easy and that anyone should be able to make a HS varsity sports team?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did/Does your son's work ethic match his goals? If not, what did/do you expect? Do you really think it should be easy and that anyone should be able to make a HS varsity sports team?

NP here. I am 37, and played sports in high school. I feel like sports were open to more kids back then, and honestly, that is the way I think it should be. We had a freshman, JV, and varsity team for most sports. There were still some cuts, but I don't think the cuts were anything like what I glean is the situation is like today (my kids aren't old enough yet). Today I feel like you practically have to be a professional athlete to make the HS team.

To the OP, we are in FCPS and I hear cross country is a no cut sport at our local HS, and I think it is nice that they have at least one no cut option. Idk whether your HS has anything similar.
Another thing I gleaned from parents of older kids is that it's tough if the kids are ONLY doing sports and then their sports option dwindle as they get older. I am trying to make sure my kids are trying out other non-sport things too.
I do feel there are still rec league options for many sports, even for the older kids, too, though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Yes, there are rec options for some sports, but many kids have moved on to travel/select so you are left with teams consisting of boys who have never played together and don’t know each other which makes it a lot less fun/successful. It’s great if you have a group of friends who decide to stick with rec, but I don’t think that’s the case for most kids. And baseball pp, I’m with you. It’s completely nuts in this area.

+1

It is the parents, trying to live vicariously. A study in itself.

[Anonymous]

OP here. These are all fair points. We’ve done rec teams, but it’s tough to make new friends and gel as a team when kids are all coming from different schools and practice together once a week for an hour. And regarding work ethic, I agree that you need to work hard to get results, but I’m also not willing to drop $100+ for regular private lessons just to have a chance to stay competitive which seems to be pretty common around here. I’m not complaining that it’s unfair that he’s not making travel teams (in fact, I’m pretty content that’s not how I spend my weekends), I was only lamenting that there aren’t more options for kids who aren’t top athletes as they get older. At our high school there are dozens of kids trying out for only a handful of spots. Not really trying to stir the pot here, just commenting on the lack of options for teens.

[Anonymous]

We are hitting this problem earlier for DD, who is 10. We will only let her play one travel sport, but she also plays several rec sports. She is good, but we are seeing now in lacrosse especially that the kids who are good have peeled off to play club/select and the 4th and 5th graders who play rec are not good players. Add to that the fact that nobody knows each other (or they each play with one friend) and practices are really spread out, and it isn't very fun. She doesn't want to play lax anymore "if it is like this" and wants to further specialize in her club sport, which I think that's a mistake. But I can't make her play lax! Frustrating.

[Anonymous]

I think the push-back you're getting is because there *are* options. You just don't like the options. I'm not sure what's wrong with rec teams being made up of kids from different schools (travel teams are too.) And frankly, if you wanted to play on a travel team - at least for soccer - there are so many around that you can almost certainly find one if your kid is even an average player.

It sounds like you want a team that plays multiple times a week and stays together from season to season, but doesn't cost a lot and doesn't require a commitment. That's a unicorn anywhere.

[Anonymous]

Middle School is short, two years. I was surprised too, that FCPS didn't have middle school sports when we first moved here. But two years and then it's on to high school. I would focus on high school. Get familiar with the HS Activities Office, tryout schedules and camps. Some HS still have old fashioned bulletin boards with camps/clinics posted. Or ask. Stop by and talk with them. Learn what the "no cut" sports are in HS, what you have to do to get-into-the pipeline for others.

For now keep him active. If he's (at all) athletic he'll find a niche in HS sports and be able to be involved. For now whatever rec team he can be on may have to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My middle schooler does a rec league every season. I would never pay for travel. I have no idea what exists for high school though.

MSI soccer goes through HS. My very non-athletic 13 year old enjoys MSI soccer as do all of his teammates. Most aren't travel league caliber. They just enjoy playing for fun.

Arlington has High School Rec soccer, which is really great.