Desperate for ideas to motivate my DD to exercise

[Anonymous]

Over the years we signed her up for team sports, dance, running, karate, and the gym. She hasn't enjoyed any of it. Quits after a season. She will participate in 5ks (walking), but doesn't really enjoy them. She has low self esteem and shares that she hates her body and feels ugly.

How do you get a child to exercise? We want to instill lifelong healthy lifestyle habits and we are failing. We are otherwise a healthy family and model non competitive exercise - we do it for health. She gravitates to playing guitar, drawing, YouTube/some social media.

Any suggestions?

[Anonymous]

How old is she? Is she truly overweight or just not as skinny as you want her to be? I have heard moms of teens talk about their dayghrer’s weight, when their daughter isn’t overweight in the least bit, they just got the curves that girls get around puberty.

I would just plan a lot of family walks, hikes, bike rides—and make her go not just for exercise, say it’s for the family bonding and fresh air

[Anonymous]

Do you go for walks or hikes together on the weekends and evenings? We have 2 dogs so walking is just a part of our life. Does she walk to school? I dont know how how can force exercise unless u present it as something tou are doing as a family.

[Anonymous]

How about hiking? More strenuous than walking, but also quite rewarding.

Do they have Heart & Sole at her school? (same organization as Girls on the Run, but for middle school girls).

Has she ever volunteered at a 5k? Seeing the other side of it might make her more enthusiastic and appreciative of them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Over the years we signed her up for team sports, dance, running, karate, and the gym. She hasn't enjoyed any of it. Quits after a season. She will participate in 5ks (walking), but doesn't really enjoy them. She has low self esteem and shares that she hates her body and feels ugly.

How do you get a child to exercise? We want to instill lifelong healthy lifestyle habits and we are failing. We are otherwise a healthy family and model non competitive exercise - we do it for health. She gravitates to playing guitar, drawing, YouTube/some social media.

Any suggestions?

My DH has major problems sticking to any exercise program. The only thing that helped was a personal trainer- can you do that? Once your DD starts getting into shape it might help her self-esteem, mood, etc. and keep her motivated to continue on her own. Right now, it's chicken/egg- she has low self esteem because she doesn't feel strong, in shape, attractive-- which further decreases motivation. A personal trainer might hold her accountable long enough for her find intrinsic motivation

[Anonymous]

Yoga?

[Anonymous]

I was that kid, many years ago. I'd focus on the self-loathing, first, because that gets in the way of SO much, plus it's an awful feeling. Support her for what she is good at, find ways to build her self-esteem that don't involve exercise. She has her lifetime to be active and it's much easier to do that from a place of self-compassion rather than self-loathing.

[Anonymous]

Biking. My DS, who sounds like your DD, doesn’t think of it as exercise.

[Anonymous]

If your DD actually says she is upset about her body, then it's time for a nutritionist.

This exact thing happened to my DS and he and the professional made a plan for eating and working out - I'm not involved so he is more likely to follow her plan.

We use EB Nutrition in Rockville.

[Anonymous]

All the above, plus I don't give my kids a choice. They have to do at least one physical activity. My 13 yr old DS went through all kinds of sports.

How about zumba or some other dance type classes?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All the above, plus I don't give my kids a choice. They have to do at least one physical activity. My 13 yr old DS went through all kinds of sports.

How about zumba or some other dance type classes?

Sorry.. I see you stated she tried dance. Maybe the issue is that she doesn't want to do it alone? My DS is like this, too. Can you go with her? Does she have friends she can do the class with?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How old is she? Is she truly overweight or just not as skinny as you want her to be? I have heard moms of teens talk about their dayghrer’s weight, when their daughter isn’t overweight in the least bit, they just got the curves that girls get around puberty.

I would just plan a lot of family walks, hikes, bike rides—and make her go not just for exercise, say it’s for the family bonding and fresh air

All of this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If your DD actually says she is upset about her body, then it's time for a nutritionist.

This exact thing happened to my DS and he and the professional made a plan for eating and working out - I'm not involved so he is more likely to follow her plan.

We use EB Nutrition in Rockville.

This. Or a therapist who has experience in this area. You will never win a power struggle with her. This way, you become the cheerleader and the plan is created by her and another person (with expertise).

[Anonymous]

I’ve never enjoyed cardio. It’s a chore. I liked walking a dog when we had one. Does she like animals? If you don’t have a pet, could she walk one of your neighbors? I volunteered at a shelter during college walking dogs for enjoyment and excercise. Growing up, I played a sport socially but preferred hiking with the family or even helping with yard work for excercise.

[Anonymous]

She has to choose a sport or physically active hobby. It’s nit negotiable. If she doesn’t then she doesn’t get privileges like a phone or iPad or whatever. She can pick anything under the sun, as long as it’s an activity.