Making new couples friends in the suburbs

[Anonymous]

My DW and I moved out to Gaithersburg a few months ago from NW DC. We're on a bit of an island with our respective friend groups; my friends are fun to hang out with, but most have moved out of the area, and the ones that still live around here we usually only see once every few weeks. Her friends all still live in the city, and we've kind of outgrown them, as they're the kind of type who wants to get blackout drunk every weekend. While we do like to drink and have a good time, we've both kind of moved past that point in our lives.

Anyways, we've been having trouble making friends with other couples in our demographic (early 30's, no kids) in our area. We've looked to other resources, such as meetup/our synagogue, but it seems like there's alot of options for single people, alot of options for people with kids, but nothing for those who are married without kids. Any other ideas how we can meet some new couples?

[Anonymous]

Even if you are religious try a non denominational church.
Most people in your age range aren’t that religious either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DW and I moved out to Gaithersburg a few months ago from NW DC. We're on a bit of an island with our respective friend groups; my friends are fun to hang out with, but most have moved out of the area, and the ones that still live around here we usually only see once every few weeks. Her friends all still live in the city, and we've kind of outgrown them, as they're the kind of type who wants to get blackout drunk every weekend. While we do like to drink and have a good time, we've both kind of moved past that point in our lives.

Anyways, we've been having trouble making friends with other couples in our demographic (early 30's, no kids) in our area. We've looked to other resources, such as meetup/our synagogue, but it seems like there's alot of options for single people, alot of options for people with kids, but nothing for those who are married without kids. Any other ideas how we can meet some new couples?

We have kids, but have a lot of childcare help, so we like going out a good amount. We've had the same issue. Are very social, want to go out, but most people can't get sitters. We've found other people like ourselves who make building friendships and being social one of their priorities. Honestly, I've met quite a few people at the gym, through group classes, boot camps, and semi personal training. I've met people through local running groups as well. We've met people through work. We have some decent neighbors. Of I could, I'd joint a homing meetup group, but that would take wayyy too much time away from family. We limit our socializing to evenings unless there is something involving families during the day.

So as you can see, we meet people though the things we enjoy and for us that is physical activity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Even if you are religious try a non denominational church.
Most people in your age range aren’t that religious either.

Meant to type “Even if you are NOT religious...”

[Anonymous]

Op - you're an outliner without kids. Will remain one, without kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op - you're an outliner without kids. Will remain one, without kids.

Yeah. Either have kids or move to where more child free people live.

[Anonymous]

Some sort of co-ed sport/league like bowling, running group, tennis, volleyball, pickle ball etc. The hobby becomes a way to have social time set aside and likely the other folks are either without kids or prioritize having time away from the kids for that hobby.

Also if you have a pet, you are likely to get to know your neighbors better. It may not translate into social plans but it is a start of building a network where you are. I know you mentioned synagogue, is there a couples class thru your place of worship?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DW and I moved out to Gaithersburg a few months ago from NW DC. We're on a bit of an island with our respective friend groups; my friends are fun to hang out with, but most have moved out of the area, and the ones that still live around here we usually only see once every few weeks. Her friends all still live in the city, and we've kind of outgrown them, as they're the kind of type who wants to get blackout drunk every weekend. While we do like to drink and have a good time, we've both kind of moved past that point in our lives.

Anyways, we've been having trouble making friends with other couples in our demographic (early 30's, no kids) in our area. We've looked to other resources, such as meetup/our synagogue, but it seems like there's alot of options for single people, alot of options for people with kids, but nothing for those who are married without kids. Any other ideas how we can meet some new couples?

We have kids, but have a lot of childcare help, so we like going out a good amount. We've had the same issue. Are very social, want to go out, but most people can't get sitters. We've found other people like ourselves who make building friendships and being social one of their priorities. Honestly, I've met quite a few people at the gym, through group classes, boot camps, and semi personal training. I've met people through local running groups as well. We've met people through work. We have some decent neighbors. Of I could, I'd joint a homing meetup group, but that would take wayyy too much time away from family. We limit our socializing to evenings unless there is something involving families during the day.

So as you can see, we meet people though the things we enjoy and for us that is physical activity.

The problem is that people in the suburbs are going to be less likely to go out and probably don’t want to. Sitter or not. Think about it. They picked up and moved far away from the better restaurants, bars, nightlife etc. They most likely do NOT prioritize going out. There are also more SAHMs in the suburbs. People often have lengthy commutes and want to spend their free time at home with family.

If you prioritize socializing, especially after having kids, do NOT move to the suburbs. You’ll be an outlier.

[Anonymous]

I, at first, thought that this was a swingers post.

[Anonymous]

Btdt, and it is really tough. You mention synagogue so I'm gathering ur Jewish. Check our work that rabbi aderet drucker is doing W people ur age. You are right in the sweet spot (she is by Beth El in Bethesda but people.come from all over the area). If you have a synagogue you sometimes go to, maybe contact them and see if they can put u in touch w others? But seriously recommend finding that group (it used to be rabbi rami but he moved to VA.
Other than that, interest area groups are probably a good bet..if you decide to have kids, it will get easier.

[Anonymous]

What precipitated a move from NW DC to Gaithersburg? Just curious what brought you out there as most of my childless friends, myself included, wouldn't make that kind of a jump. Maybe if they were hoping to have kids ASAP, but even then, most would stay a lot closer to/in the city until they had more than one or a kid was ready for school. It seems kind of an isolating choice, and I imagine it is difficult to get anyone to go to you, especially childless people who may not own cars.

[Anonymous]

What precipitated a move from NW DC to Gaithersburg? Just curious what brought you out there as most of my childless friends, myself included, wouldn't make that kind of a jump. Maybe if they were hoping to have kids ASAP, but even then, most would stay a lot closer to/in the city until they had more than one or a kid was ready for school. It seems kind of an isolating choice, and I imagine it is difficult to get anyone to go to you, especially childless people who may not own cars.

OP here: we lived in our apartment in NW for 4 years, and while we absolutely loved our neighborhood and living in the city, we felt like we were sort of past the point in our lives where we weren't going out all the time anymore. We were also outgrowing our 1 bedroom apartment, and we want to get a dog (old apt wouldn't allow them). We'll likely be TTC in the next year or so, and we didn't want to deal with the stress of moving while DW was pregnant. Financially, we were in a place to buy a house, as our mortgage is only slightly higher than our rent was.

But, in retrospect, the social aspect has been a bit of a damper. Moving somewhere closer, like say, Bethesda, probably wouldn't have been able to work from a financial standpoint for us. While we both love having much more space, and everything else that goes with a house, we do wonder if socially it would have made more sense for us to stay in NW for at least a few more months.

[Anonymous]

Ask your synagogue if they can put together a chavurah group of people in your situation. Lots of synagogues help facilitate people finding like-minded people within the congregation. Like a pot-luck Shabbat that rotates houses, for example. Or do cross-fit. Those people are all about being friends with the people at their gym.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DW and I moved out to Gaithersburg a few months ago from NW DC. We're on a bit of an island with our respective friend groups; my friends are fun to hang out with, but most have moved out of the area, and the ones that still live around here we usually only see once every few weeks. Her friends all still live in the city, and we've kind of outgrown them, as they're the kind of type who wants to get blackout drunk every weekend. While we do like to drink and have a good time, we've both kind of moved past that point in our lives.

Anyways, we've been having trouble making friends with other couples in our demographic (early 30's, no kids) in our area. We've looked to other resources, such as meetup/our synagogue, but it seems like there's alot of options for single people, alot of options for people with kids, but nothing for those who are married without kids. Any other ideas how we can meet some new couples?

We have kids, but have a lot of childcare help, so we like going out a good amount. We've had the same issue. Are very social, want to go out, but most people can't get sitters. We've found other people like ourselves who make building friendships and being social one of their priorities. Honestly, I've met quite a few people at the gym, through group classes, boot camps, and semi personal training. I've met people through local running groups as well. We've met people through work. We have some decent neighbors. Of I could, I'd joint a homing meetup group, but that would take wayyy too much time away from family. We limit our socializing to evenings unless there is something involving families during the day.

So as you can see, we meet people though the things we enjoy and for us that is physical activity.

The problem is that people in the suburbs are going to be less likely to go out and probably don’t want to. Sitter or not. Think about it. They picked up and moved far away from the better restaurants, bars, nightlife etc. They most likely do NOT prioritize going out. There are also more SAHMs in the suburbs. People often have lengthy commutes and want to spend their free time at home with family.

If you prioritize socializing, especially after having kids, do NOT move to the suburbs. You’ll be an outlier.

I haven't had an issue. For instance last Saturday we had to juggle 2 separate adult Halloween parties. This coming weekend it looks to be nice and a big group of us are headed to Bear Chase Brewery , this is a mixed group with kids and dogs. Thursday we have an invite out to dinner, but had to decline due to a fundraiser we have to attend.

It is not hard to find others who have the means and enjoy an adult life out in the suburbs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Even if you are religious try a non denominational church.
Most people in your age range aren’t that religious either.

Did you read the original post?

They are Jewish so a non denominational church might not be their first choice.