DH’s snoring is wearing me down
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Anonymous
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DH knows he has a snoring problem. He knows exercising more, using nasal strips every night and maybe even changing his diet at night (I.e. don’t drink beer after 8) could help immensely. However, he’s not doing any of the above. He uses nasal strips sporadically. I’ve asked him to go to the doctor. He won’t do it. Look into apnea. Won’t do it.
In the end, I’m the one wearing ear plugs and having difficulty getting a good rest. I’m the one on the couch. He won’t budge. He will just get into a vicious fight. He’s very nonconfrontational and rather than agree to help out the situation tells me to deal with it. We have 1 kid and are in our early 40s. I don’t think I can do 30 more years of this. I may not make it 30 years. I’m afraid of ending up with high blood pressure and heart problems as a result of this. I don’t know what else to do other than get into a nasty fight with him that ends the usual way- it’s my problem, not his- and no, he’s not seeking medical advice. He’s not overweight and passes every yearly wellness checkup with flying colors. |
Anonymous
| My DH used to snore and now has a CPAP machine. It stops the snoring and the first day he used it, he was like a new person. I'm not sure it's still working as well as it should though years later. I'm sure your DH's anger about it is a symptom he needs it. Can you convince him it will help him feel better? He will have to do a sleep study spending the night somewhere and get used to wearing the CPAP but after that it becomes second nature. If he won't do it, sleep in another room with a real bed. |
Anonymous
OP here. This is the part of the problem. He feels fine. Also, we live in a small place and don’t have a guest room. I sleep on the couch when necessary. |
Anonymous
| ear plugs |
Anonymous
| Kick him out of the bed until he sees a doctor. This is ridiculous; it's not negotiable, stop treating it like it is. |
Anonymous
| I’m sorry. My husband snores and I wear ear plugs every night. Also no guest room. He does wear nasal strips AND this ring thing that goes between his septum and that does help. Part of what I did was meditate and have mantras to let go of the anger and frustration that came with getting worked up about the snoring. Anger and anxiety over lost sleep made me lose more sleep. It helps me sleep better! |
Anonymous
| DH goes to the guest room periodically so I can get some actual rest. He's had sleep studies, and his sinuses cleared out twice. Nothing has helped. It's awful, I commiserate. But he should definitely be the one going to the couch! |
Anonymous
| zyppah |
Anonymous
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How old is your kid? Can you fit a trundle or twin bed in there? If your kid is young enough, I might just sleep in there. Once he realizes he's driven you out of the marital bed entirely, he might get motivated to change.
Otherwise, I would push him each and every time he snores. |
Anonymous
| Deviated septum fixed |
Anonymous
| Tell him he’s damaging his heart. I only regret not looking into the cpap for my husband sooner. |
Anonymous
| OPs husband doesn't appear willing to change or be the one to sleep on the couch. He sounds like a dick. If this continues it won't end well. |
Anonymous
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DH was like yours. We went to marriage counseling over this (and a few other things). He somehow thought I was going to make him to a very painful and often unsuccessful surgery (why he thought that, I gave no idea). Did a sleep study, got a custom mouth guard and it reduced snoring by 85%. But I had to threaten divorce basically. Between no sleep and his refusal to try something, I was pissed....
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Anonymous
My husband snores. If I say anything, he points out that I snore sometimes, too. Which, okay, but not as often and I will sleep on my stomach to avoid it. He won't go for a sleep study, he won't drink less in the evenings, he's not consistent about taking antihistamines or decongestants, he won't even go to sleep on his side instead of his back. Earplugs are too uncomfortable, and I've tried different brands and sizes to no avail. So now I go to bed early enough that I'm asleep by the time he goes to bed. I've also gotten up and gone to sleep in the kid's room (she has a queen bed). I need sleep, so I do what I have to to get it. |
Anonymous
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How old is your husband? If he's middle-aged, have him contact some good college friends who he hasn't seen in a while. He should find out how many of them use a CPAP. Chances are at least one person will.
The CPAP is less scary when you find out your peers are using it. Worth a try. |