Compassionate transfer

[Anonymous]

Has anyone done this? Looking to hear experiences.

[Anonymous]

Also, are there any other options to deal with a situation where it will be destroyed despite your objection?

I'm in the middle of a very high-conflict divorce from someone who is behaving in a really horrendous manner. I had hoped to get out of this situation with a negotiation that would let me use the embryos independently, but he is not negotiating any aspect of this divorce. Every component of it will be litigated. Whether there are 7 days in a week will be litigated.

I obviously don't see how it is moral to bring another child into this conflict, given what I've seen thus far, but I can't say that now because then he would switch positions and say I want them myself. He does and says anything that he thinks will harm me the most.

I do not want a compassionate transfer but would like to know in advance the day and time they will be destroyed. There are so many of them I think the likelihood that one would have worked is pretty high. Maybe it's morbid or awful, but I would like to know the moment they are destroyed.

I have thought about embryo adoption but I don't think I could live with that either, even if someone would want them despite my medical history. That would be such torture, and not fair to the siblings.

[Anonymous]

I destroyed them myself -- my lab gave me the vials and I'm sure they were dead by the time we got home. I burned candles and cried and poured them into the candle flame. I needed some ritual.

Good luck with your journey. I hate to say it but I think you're right about destroying them. Sounds like your ex wouldn't be much of a father.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I destroyed them myself -- my lab gave me the vials and I'm sure they were dead by the time we got home. I burned candles and cried and poured them into the candle flame. I needed some ritual.

Good luck with your journey. I hate to say it but I think you're right about destroying them. Sounds like your ex wouldn't be much of a father.

Is it common for labs to let you destroy them yourself? Do the local labs (SG, Columbia, etc) let you do that?

[Anonymous]

Just to be clear, OP & the person who posted about the divorce are not the same person. I am sorry to the person who posted about their divorce. You might get more answers if you post under your own topic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just to be clear, OP & the person who posted about the divorce are not the same person. I am sorry to the person who posted about their divorce. You might get more answers if you post under your own topic.

Oh wow. That wasn’t cool. I didn’t understand why the second post from what looked like op contradicted the thread title.

[Anonymous]

No one is prohibited from responding to OP's request for information about compassionate transfers. The other posts were from people who have similar concerns but have considered other options. It's a hard issue for many who have gone through this process.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No one is prohibited from responding to OP's request for information about compassionate transfers. The other posts were from people who have similar concerns but have considered other options. It's a hard issue for many who have gone through this process.

OP here. Yes, those are hard questions. It sounds like PP is in a really awful place and my heart goes out to her.

These seem to be pretty different topics, though, from a legal and emotional point of view, so PP would probably get more people checking her post if she posted again under a different subject.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Has anyone done this? Looking to hear experiences.

Do you mean that you don't want to have any more children, but you're unwilling to destroy the embryos?

A transfer is a transfer - they can implant and then you have a pregnancy on your hands that you don't want to carry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Has anyone done this? Looking to hear experiences.

Do you mean that you don't want to have any more children, but you're unwilling to destroy the embryos?

A transfer is a transfer - they can implant and then you have a pregnancy on your hands that you don't want to carry.

I would be fine with that. I don't want to go through all the drugs, because I'm also fine with it not succeeding. And I'm looking specifically for people who have experience with compassionate transfer.