Daycare issues - your thoughts please!

[Anonymous]

Hi, thanks in advance for reading and providing input.

We've sent our now 9 month daughter to an in-home daycare in Bethesda since she was about 5 months old. She started part time at first and has been full time since September. It was all smooth in the beginning but then my daughter started to reject the bottle and become a little hard to feed. After she started on solids, she would eat them without minimal trouble so we started to send more solids but overall, per the daycare folks, she has been "EXTREMELY DIFFICULT". The person who runs this daycare calls me every day to tell me how hard/challenging my child is to feed, and that she only drank xyz oz. Notably, this has yo-yoed a lot in that there are days when my daughter would drink all her milk and eat all her solids. We really started to address the bottle rejection at home by doing bottle bootcamps, pumping exclusively, ensuring we did solids at home and we really felt things get better. At daycare though, it seemed never to change and I still continued to get calls that she was a difficult child and fussed a lot. Even as I sympathized with the daycare people, their experiences ran exactly counter to ours as we never really found her overly fussy or difficult..and we are first time parents. I consistently showed appreciation for the daycare folks, telling them I was grateful for their care and concern for my baby but eventually I've come to be bothered by the constant complaining about how my child is the most difficult baby they have ever seen. I think any infant would need attention, and sure, mine def has stranger and separation anxiety but it seems to be expected with a baby her age.

My question is - did you ever have kids who had issues with the bottle that eventually adjusted to daycare? I'm not sure if I need to hire a nanny or find a different daycare (I do have two nice options). Do you think I'm being unreasonable in not feeling comfortable with the feedback sent from daycare? We're with family away this week and they've constantly remarked how NOT difficult the baby is but I'm not sure my perspective is truly objective. Thank you so much for your thoughts!

[Anonymous]

As long as she has BM or formula at home and a reasonable amount she can just do solids at day care.

[Anonymous]

Thank you. I've chatted with the pediatrician and they are not concerned since she drinks at home and is gaining weight. The overall volume that she drinks has definitely gone down. My question is if you dealt with a similar baby and if he/she adjusted to daycare. Would a different environment change things?

[Anonymous]

Mine went through some feeding challenges but our daycare was always supportive. I felt like we were working together to resolve his issues and she would give us advice (what worked with other infants) and suggestions.

Some babies do reverse cycle, meaning they eat very little at daycare and much more in the evenings. Your baby might be one of these. There's nothing wrong with it, although you may be waking more at night to feed her.

[Anonymous]

I would find a new daycare. The current folks don't want to be bothered. Trust your gut.

[Anonymous]

Please change daycares. They do not care about your daughter and don't want to take care of her anymore. This is their way of saying this.

Yes, my daughter was extremely hard to give a bottle to and we were at an inhome. They loved her still and never told us about the problems.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thank you. I've chatted with the pediatrician and they are not concerned since she drinks at home and is gaining weight. The overall volume that she drinks has definitely gone down. My question is if you dealt with a similar baby and if he/she adjusted to daycare. Would a different environment change things?

Is your baby teething? Has she had a lot of colds recently? Both of these are totally natural but can mess with their appetite (teething can also cause pain when eating).

[Anonymous]

What? The daycare tells you your child is difficult, the most difficult they've ever seen? Just because she doesn't drink all of the milk? And they call you every day about it?

Find a different daycare. They don't know/can't handle babies.

[Anonymous]

Thank you all so much. If your children had feeding issues, did they resolve at the daycare? I am wondering if this means that daycare is not the best environment for her. My daughter definitely isn't easy with change so I don't want to deal with a change in routine and then be at the same position in a few months.

Also, my daughter has never reverse cycled. She sleeps well and through the night. I make all the food and we've started to include more nutrition-dense foods to offset her reduced intake of BM.

Its just been really stressful. I'm only now realizing how crazy it is to get called all the time with complaints about how she doesnt eat and how she is so difficult compared to the other, much easier, kids.

[Anonymous]

Is your daycare provider very inexperienced with infants? Seriously, this sounds like something most infants go through.

Mine went through this and our daycare provider told us it was normal and offered suggestions for things we could send in to help him.

[Anonymous]

This just isn't a good daycare. I'm sorry. Get one that loves your baby! Poor baby! And mine didn't take bottles well either.

[Anonymous]

Both of my kids are picky eaters at home and both have always eaten more / better at daycare. Once daycare has typecast your kid and written them off as picky / hard to feed I think you need to find a new daycare. It can be another in home, just one where the care provider wants to work with your kid and be patient.

If your child has genuine feeding issues - not just pickyness - you need to get help and then have your care provider work on it with the suggestions your therapist asks you to try.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is your daycare provider very inexperienced with infants? Seriously, this sounds like something most infants go through.

Mine went through this and our daycare provider told us it was normal and offered suggestions for things we could send in to help him.

Apparently not. My friends said the same thing that most infants go through this. She did offer suggestions (like more solids, only do bottle so she gets it more) but she never said it was normal. My husband was genuinely concerned because we obviously have never dealt with kids before and wondered if she had any issues to make her so difficult. She is a sunny, happy baby at home and truly doesn't care needlessly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thank you. I've chatted with the pediatrician and they are not concerned since she drinks at home and is gaining weight. The overall volume that she drinks has definitely gone down. My question is if you dealt with a similar baby and if he/she adjusted to daycare. Would a different environment change things?

Is your baby teething? Has she had a lot of colds recently? Both of these are totally natural but can mess with their appetite (teething can also cause pain when eating).

She has been teething and did have a cold (but no ear infection). We were SO GRATEFUL to find out because it was some explanation of the issues she had been having with food.

[Anonymous]

It’s not very professional of them to be complaining about your baby. A lot of babies go through changes in their eating behaviors. If they are concerned there is a professional way to address it rather than complaining about it. Have they giving you examples of how she is difficult?