Let's get real about IVF

[Anonymous]

Does anyone ever stop to consider that if you have trouble trying to conceive then it is not meant to be??

[Anonymous]

I believe people should have the freedom to choose their own life, which includes controlling their own body and procreating how they want.

[Anonymous]

Does anyone ever stop to consider that if you have trouble producing insulin then it is not meant to be?? Diabetics, really, your body is telling you something.

Does anyone ever stop to consider that if you have trouble seeing far away then it is not meant to be?? Near-sighted people, really, your body is telling you something.

Does anyone ever stop to consider that if you have crooked teeth then it is not meant to be?? People who need braces, really, your body is telling you something.

Does anyone ever stop to consider that if you have high blood pressure or heart troubles then it is not meant to be?? People who need medicine, really, your body is telling you something.

You get the picture. People use medical assistance for all sorts of things without ridiculous trolls spoiling for a fight.

Signed,
Someone whose two children were both conceived naturally the first time trying but who has compassion and is not mean-spirited.

[Anonymous]

No, let's get real about YOU. Stop and think about what motivates you to come to this forum and post what you've posted. Look inside yourself. What is missing from your life that you feel the need to do this for fun, for entertainment, to pass the time, whatever? Is your life that boring? Do you have anger you need to get out? Really, and I'm being sincere, think honestly about why you enjoy being nasty and causing conflict, and try to fix what's wrong in your life instead of trying to hurt others. Work toward becoming a nice, empathetic, happy person and not a troll getting kicks from posting mean-spirited comments on an anonymous board.

[Anonymous]

Nope, never even considered that it wasn't meant to be. And now I have two children, and I know I was right. And this is the case no matter how your story unfolds, IVF, adoption, or even living child free. What is "meant to be" for me might not be the same for you. Be careful trying to get others to validate your feelings. They are yours alone.

Best wishes to everyone on this board struggling with infertility. You're all meant to be parents, and your children will find their way to you one day, somehow. One day, you'll look at them and say it is exactly as it's meant to be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does anyone ever stop to consider that if you have trouble trying to conceive then it is not meant to be??

i have thought that for maybe 5 minutes, briefly discussed it with my therapist and quickly decided that it is meant to be for me to be a mother. I even prefer to call is "fertilty challenged". I have known since I was 17 that I will need assistance in conceiving and have always believed this is OK. I am so surpised that people actually think of ART as a controversy. I believe that some people are ignorant and unable to feel any compassion for those of us who seek assistance.

I guess maybe you are bored and want to start something? If not and you really are thinking this maybe you should seek therapy and figure it out without offending many of us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does anyone ever stop to consider that if you have trouble producing insulin then it is not meant to be?? Diabetics, really, your body is telling you something.

Does anyone ever stop to consider that if you have trouble seeing far away then it is not meant to be?? Near-sighted people, really, your body is telling you something.

Does anyone ever stop to consider that if you have crooked teeth then it is not meant to be?? People who need braces, really, your body is telling you something.

Does anyone ever stop to consider that if you have high blood pressure or heart troubles then it is not meant to be?? People who need medicine, really, your body is telling you something.

You get the picture. People use medical assistance for all sorts of things without ridiculous trolls spoiling for a fight.

Signed,
Someone whose two children were both conceived naturally the first time trying but who has compassion and is not mean-spirited.

Hear, hear.

OP - as my dearly departed grandmother would say, GO TO HELL.

xoxoxo another mom of 2, conceived w/o ART

[Anonymous]

I think everyone has a different "line in sand" for how far they would take something, but unless you have been challenged with something like infertility, it is hard to know where you would move that line.

Signed: Another woman who also conceives naturally but knows better than to judge others using only her own experience.

[Anonymous]

Nope, not once. And when I was diagnosed with cervical cancer 2 years ago, I never thought to myself..."Self, I have cervical cancer. Maybe I'm not meant to have a cervix."

Everyone is different, but I believe that God created men and women to procreate. I also believe God created the men and women who worked tirelessly to create IVF and ART. Lastly, I believe that if God didn't want people to procreate with ART, it wouldn't work.

The wonderful thing about this world is that we are all entitled to our own belief system. You are more than welcome to believe it isn't meant to be, but I, like many others on this board, choose to believe otherwise. I guess maybe we're glass half-full people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nope, not once. And when I was diagnosed with cervical cancer 2 years ago, I never thought to myself..."Self, I have cervical cancer. Maybe I'm not meant to have a cervix."

Everyone is different, but I believe that God created men and women to procreate. I also believe God created the men and women who worked tirelessly to create IVF and ART. Lastly, I believe that if God didn't want people to procreate with ART, it wouldn't work.

The wonderful thing about this world is that we are all entitled to our own belief system. You are more than welcome to believe it isn't meant to be, but I, like many others on this board, choose to believe otherwise. I guess maybe we're glass half-full people.

Exactly. The OP is completely devoid of common sense, unless the position being taken is that all medical intervention, for anything, is inappropriate. Dark ages, here we come!

[Anonymous]

Let's not be so harsh on OP; we don't know her motives in asking the question. I needed IVF to conceive our child and regularly questioned whether or not it was "meant to be" given how hard our path was. It's legitimate to ask those questions of yourself if you're in that situation.

The harder issue, I think, is determining whether or not you have a vocation for parenthood. If so, and you can't conceive, then I agree with the PP that your children will "find" you whether through ART, adoption or however. The struggle with infertility gives you lots of time to process those questions, for better or for worse.

[Anonymous]

I agree, 14:44, even though I am struggling with IF and haven't gotten pregnant (yet) with ART, I have found myself saying, "maybe I'm not meant to be a mom." At least for me, I kind of prepare myself for the worst, while trying to hope for the best.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let's not be so harsh on OP; we don't know her motives in asking the question. I needed IVF to conceive our child and regularly questioned whether or not it was "meant to be" given how hard our path was. It's legitimate to ask those questions of yourself if you're in that situation.

The harder issue, I think, is determining whether or not you have a vocation for parenthood. If so, and you can't conceive, then I agree with the PP that your children will "find" you whether through ART, adoption or however. The struggle with infertility gives you lots of time to process those questions, for better or for worse.

OP's title to the thread gives a good indication of motive: "Let's get real about IVF" - not terribly supportive. I would be very surprised if OP's motive was anything other than looking for a rumble.

[Anonymous]

OP's title to the thread gives a good indication of motive: "Let's get real about IVF" - not terribly supportive. I would be very surprised if OP's motive was anything other than looking for a rumble.

Exactly. Doesn't sound like someone who's struggling with IF herself and looking to explore the emotional issues. Sounds more like someone wanting to pass judgment.

[Anonymous]

OP, here actually I was looking for those that have questioned their decision to pursue IVF and only one person seemed to get that poster 14:44. I was not judging anyone's decision to do IVF just questioning how far to take the circumstances handed to us. Given the hash opinions on this subject it makes me skepticle to trust anything on this anonymous board.